She huffs now. Obviously, she doesn’t want to answer me. She hoped to drag me into a debate about the wisdom of this idea or shade my insistence with some detail that I frankly don’t give a shit about. Maybe that works with Makaio. On me? Not so much.
When she still fails to answer, I grip the phone tighter. “I’ve got my attorney on speed dial. Ten seconds before I hang up and give him a ring. And yes, he’ll take my call this late. He’s also a friend. It’s really handy.”
“If you’re trying to prove to me what a bastard you are, trust me. I already know.”
Another argument starter. I’m not taking the bait.
“Five seconds.
”
She still doesn’t reply, and I can all but feel her resistance through the phone.
“Three, two, on—”
“All right, you pushy, insufferable asshole. You’ve got me for the next fifty-two days. On the fifty-third, I’ll be marrying Makaio and I’ll expect you to have signed my papers. But I’ve got one condition.”
So she’s given this more than passing thought. Good. I expected her to load some ammo into her weapon. I was a little surprised she didn’t when we argued in the office, and I can only imagine she was too stunned to think through scenarios that would benefit her.
“I’m listening.” I also don’t have to agree, but I won’t say that just yet. I’ll hear what’s on her mind and decide if it’s worth the brawl.
“You’re basically cutting me off from…intimate contact with Makaio for almost two months.”
Not basically. I am.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Think of how much you’ll have missed him by the time your wedding night rolls around,” I drawl.
“Don’t be flippant. I’m not letting you come between us, Griff. He’s my fiancé. I’m going to see him. That’s only fair.”
“Fair to whom? The point of our time together is to experience what it would be like if we were a family. If one of us is stepping out, then we’re not a cohesive unit. And you can’t argue with me on that. Dad always had a mistress on the side when I was growing up. He still does. You’ve met my family. There’s no way you can make a case we’re functional.”
“You’re not. But you and I aren’t married,” she points out. “I can’t shove my relationship with Makaio on the back burner simply to ‘play house’ with you.”
“Can’t he do without you for a while? Or are you worried he can’t control himself if you’re not around?”
“This isn’t about sex. He’s barely accepted the fact that I intend to move in with you, even temporarily. If I tell him I can’t be with him because I have to be faithful to you and our ‘family,’ what do you think his reaction will be?”
Since he’s not a total dumb ass after all, I’m pretty sure he’ll understand their relationship is doomed.
“He seems like an understanding guy.” I try not to vomit. “I’m sure he wants you to be really sure before you say ‘I do.’ Besides, you just said this wasn’t about sex. Why is it not about that where he’s concerned, but when I’m involved, it’s about nothing else?”
“Because I’m engaged,” she reminds me, exasperated. “I’m committed to him.”
“For the next fifty-two days, you’re mine. Only mine. After that, if you want to be his again, I won’t stop you. Or I can call my attorney right now. What’s it going to be?”
If she agrees to this, she can tell herself that I’ve twisted her arm and that she’s only protecting Jamie. But I don’t believe for one minute that she wants me out of her life more than she’s afraid of sharing our son for a few nights and weekends.
“That’s not fair.”
“You having sex with him is a nonstarter for me.” If she’s giving her time and attention to another man, she’ll never consider what it’s like to live with and love me. “That’s the deal. Take it or leave it.”
Britta pauses, then finally grits her teeth together, sounding like she wants to strangle me. “God, you’re such a bastard.”
She can think that all she wants, as long as she’s willing to concede this point. Once I have her away from that cocksucker she’s engaged to, I’ll work on changing her attitude. Since he doesn’t seem to give her much of anything, I doubt it will be too hard for me to shower her with everything she needs.
“Does that mean we have a deal?”
“Not so fast. Reciprocation is only fair, Griff. If I can’t be with Makaio for the next fifty-two days, then you can’t touch any other woman. Or this whole deal is off. I move out. You sign the papers. I keep Jamie. You go away for good.”
Does she imagine for one moment that I could possibly have my dick in a knot for any other female? If I did, I wouldn’t be up in Britta’s business right now. I’d be pursuing that woman. But I get it. Three years ago, I left her and jumped right into a full and busy sex life. She’s convinced I have a wandering dick and that she’s going to end up with the custody arrangement she wants because she’ll trip me up on a technicality. In her head, when I fuck up by fucking someone else, she’ll be vindicated and have everything she wants.
That’s never going to happen. In fact, she’s in for one hell of a shock when she realizes how attentive and focused I’m going to be on her and her alone.
I bite my tongue to hold in a laugh.
“Define touch?” I say both to be very clear and to needle her. “If I buy something at the drugstore and I happen to brush fingers with a female cashier as I’m picking up change…”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“So incidental contact doesn’t count? Okay. My sister is coming in April. I’m going to hug her.”
She grunts like she’s exasperated. “Now you’re just playing stupid.”
“You tell me then, angel. Where’s the line?”
“What would you consider cheating in a relationship? I’m assuming that sort of thing registers with you. But if not and you need more explanation about what it means to break a commitment by crawling between someone else’s legs, I’ll be happy to show you a picture. I have them, after all.”
Oh, meow. She’s jealous. I’m absolutely loving this, mostly because it’s clear what—or who—I do matters to her.
“I’m not so much into pictures. Maybe you’ll give me a demonstration?”
“Stop provoking me,” she warns.
I haven’t even started yet. “Okay. If you’re looking for a working definition, how about this: cheating is conduct with anyone else where sexual arousal or penetration of any sort is intended.”
“All right. So, for instance, kissing. Obviously cheeks of friends and hands of old ladies don’t count,” she says.
“Right. But kissing like I want it to lead somewhere that involves heavy breaths, tasting of skin, and peeling off of clothes? That’s a no-no.”
I hear her swallow across the line. “This definition of cheating should also include any touching of body parts people generally cover in polite society, beach excepted. And no matter what anyone says, oral sex is, in fact, sex. Which means actual copulation—”
“Is just fucking someone else and is totally cheating.”
She sucks in a breath. “Yes. So if you behave in any of the ways we just outlined, I win.”
“All right.”
“All right…what? Are you agreeing to the definition or the deal?”
“Both.”
“Really? You didn’t even think about that, Griff. Maybe you should. That will lead to fifty-two days without sex for you. Aren’t you worried you’ll go blind? Or crazy? That the top of your head will blow off? That you won’t be able to handle it?”
Her sarcasm is thick. Sure, I could tell her that I have no intention of going without sex for that long. I’ll have her, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she happily provides whatever gratification I want while I pleasure her so thoroughly and so often she won’t have the energy to object—or think of Makaio. But just for grins, I should make this interesting.
“Don’t you worry about me, angel. I’ll manage. Neither of us will kiss, touch, or…what did you say, copulate with anyone else for the next fifty-two days. That’s not going to be a problem for me. But if you can’t resist Makaio, then I win.”
I’m going to win anyway. I’ll let her think she has a chance, but this is a slam dunk. Last time we were alone, she barely lasted five minutes without returning my kiss and climbing my body in silent pleading for more. There’s no way she resists me for