Gabriel calls me to his study every night after dinner. I sit at his feet with my head on his thigh as he reads and comments on my assignments or watches the news while stroking my hair. Afterward, he takes me depending on how he interprets my needs and mood. Sometimes it’s tender and sometimes hard. I revel in whatever he gives me, needing his body with an intensity that doesn’t diminish, no matter how many times per night he makes me come.
Things are looking up in my life. Since Carly reached out to me about her breakup with Sebastian, our relationship is friendlier. Aletta said if I hand in my assignments, she’ll hold onto my study cancellation, giving me a second chance at my dream. I can still be something other than a maid after nine years. With the bursary, I have more money to spend on Charlie and Kris. I can even afford to take them out to lunch on Sunday. I choose a restaurant in Rosebank, close to El Toro, a delicatessen shop where Marie used to buy Spanish chorizo. Magda told me to make paella on Monday, and she only eats this particular brand of sausage in the dish. Since El Toro doesn’t deliver, I profit from picking up my order while spoiling Kris and Charlie.
We get a table on the terrace at Roma’s and order spaghetti with scallops in basil-flavored cream. Charlie is working his way through his second Coke float. His eyes shine, and his cheeks have a healthy color. He’s even lost a bit of the flabbiness around his waist.
“The change in him is remarkable, Kris.”
She takes a sip of her wine. “He’s a good dog walker. Plus, it saves me a pack of time.”
“It makes me happy to see him like this. I wish I could do more.”
“So, what’s with the lunch?” she asks after we’ve eaten, direct as always.
“I have good news. The university granted me a full bursary.”
“I thought you dropped out.”
“I did, but Gabriel said Marie should be back at work soon. I’ll have time to study again, and with the full bursary I won’t need to worry about the shortfall.”
Leaning back, she crosses her arms. “What’s going on with him, Val?”
“Nothing.” I pick at my napkin, tearing off small pieces. “Why?”
I can’t tell anyone what happens behind the closed doors of Gabriel’s house. Especially not Kris. She won’t understand. Hell, sometimes I don’t understand.
“He’s been to the practice.”
I still. “Why?”
“To buy cat and dog food, apparently. He’s got a standing order.”
“He didn’t tell me.”
“You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”
I jerk my head up and glance at Charlie, but he’s engrossed in his drink. I can’t lie to her in her face, so I say nothing.
“He’s a loan shark, and you’re indebted to him for nine years. You want to know what I think? I think you’re his sex toy. His favorite toy. For the moment, he dresses you up––yes, I saw the parcels he carried to my house––and he covers your bills. Hey, I’m not complaining. I need the business. All I’m saying is don’t fall in love with him.”
I look away to where a mom and dad are having lunch with a cute little girl. “It’s not like that.”
“How is it? Are you parading around for him in a French maid’s costume? Is that his fantasy?”
I give her a chastising look. “Stop it.”
“Every boy eventually grows tired of his toys, even his favorite toy.”
“I don’t have a choice,” I say in a lowered voice. “He’s not all bad, Kris. I think he tries really hard to treat me well.”
She leans forward. “He’s a goddamn killer. A criminal. The Breaker, Val. Do you need me to remind you how he kills people?”
“No.”
“Don’t sugarcoat him because he’s nice to you. Never forget who he is. More importantly, never forget who you are and what you are to him.”
“What am I?”
“Debt repayment. You’re a slave.”
“Call it whatever you want, but I made a deal to save Charlie’s life. I’ll slave, whore, bust my ass, and work my fingers to the bone to keep him safe.”
“What about your life?”
Kris doesn’t know my history. She doesn’t know how Charlie picked me up in the gutter, battered and left for dead, and carried me home for more than two miles. She doesn’t know he sat next to my bed and held my hand every night after my assault when I was too afraid to close my eyes to sleep.
“I made a choice, Kris. I made a promise to Gabriel Louw. You don’t break your promises to Gabriel. Give it a rest, will you? I’m doing the best I can.”
“Jesus, Val. If this is your best, you’re heading for a cluster fuck. You cut off your finger for Christ’s sake.” She wipes a hand over her brow. “How is this going to play out?”