Standing in front of him with my grief so exposed, I felt vulnerable. So I grabbed onto my anger to protect myself.
“Well, I don’t love you,” I cried, knowing my words would slay him. “Not anymore.”
He looked at me as if I’d just pulled his heart from his body.
In that moment, he realized we were done, and a hundred different emotions crossed his face before he finally shook his head. A look of absolute grief crossed his face. And in that last moment we just stared at each other as our future dissipated like mist in the dreary afternoon light. Finally, he walked away and I burst into tears.
That night I wrote him a letter telling him to stay away . . . and he did.
For twelve years.
INDY
Now
It was raining. Of course, it was. Because this was fucking Seattle and not Destiny, Mississippi.
Still feeling grim from the scene with Cade at the airport, I pushed back my heartache as I paid the taxi driver, and reluctantly trudged up the stairs to my apartment.
I closed the front door behind me and leaned against it, feeling my heart break all over again. I could move to another country—another planet—and I was never going to be able to outrun my feelings for Cade.
During my seven-hour flight and the fifty-seven-minute layover in Houston, I had tortured myself with a tangle of confused thoughts. But they all came back to the one conclusion. That I had made a huge mistake walking away from him.
Now I was simply exhausted. I had used the last of my resolve to walk away.
I banged the back of my head against the door and closed my eyes.
“Damn,” I whispered to myself, suddenly feeling very lonely.
Kicking off the door, I threw my keys in the ashtray on the kitchen counter and dumped my overnight bag on the couch. I lit a fire to push away the dreary Seattle chill and put on some coffee. Feeling alone and just plain weird about things, I crossed the room to the huge bay window overlooking the park. I leaned against the windowsill and stared out into the bleak night feeling an overwhelming urge to cry. Outside, glittering ribbons of rain fell from the eves in front of the window, and in the light of the streetlamp they glittered like diamonds.
When I felt the tears prick my eyes I got mad. “Don’t you dare fucking cry. You chose this. You chose Seattle over him. You—”
My phone buzzed in my hand, making me jump.
To my surprise, it was Cade, and seeing his name on the screen filled me with so much warmth I wanted to run out of that apartment and hightail it back to Destiny.
After the scene at the airport, he was the last person I expected to hear from.
Smiling through my sadness I answered it, trying to conceal the emotion in my voice and the tears that had started to fall down my cheeks.
“Stop crying,” he said softly.
God, it was good to hear his voice. “I’m not crying.”
“Yes, you are.”
I smiled. Thinking how typical it was of him to think he knew me so well. “Is that right?”
There was silence for a moment before he spoke again, “Indy?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you answer me one thing?”
Not sure if I should agree or not, I answered quietly, “Sure.”
There was more silence, and then Cade’s voice was husky as he asked, “Are you crying because you’re still in love with me?”
I started to nod and cry harder.
“No,” my voice cracked as a new wave of heartache stiffened my face with emotion.
“Don’t lie to me,” Cade said gently.
“I’m … not.”
“Then why are you nodding?”
“I’m not . . . wait, how—”
My head shot up, and my eyes frantically searched the street outside my window. And there he was, slowly stepping out of the shadows of the chilly Seattle evening and into the streetlight.
Cade.
The love of my life.
The dam broke then and I didn’t need to think, I just ran, not even closing my front door behind me. I flew down the steps and out into the rain, not stopping until I reached the comfort of his arms and the sweet, sweet bliss of his lips against mine.
Rain poured over us, but neither of us cared. All we knew was each other. All we knew was the emotion between us.
Cade’s palms were strong against my jaw as he held me tight, his mouth moving strong and demanding over mine. A low moan came from deep within him and I could feel his desperation in the way he kissed me.
He pulled away and looked at me desperately.
“Tell me how I let you go without it killing me and I will,” he said, his voice rising over the rain. “Tell me how I live without you without it destroying me.”
I shook my head, my hair saturated with rain. “I don’t want you to let me go.”