If Brooklyn left, would Bowie go with her? Deep in her heart, she knew he would. Not because of her but because of Brystol.
Brooklyn pulled away and covered her face. Her sobs were quick and painful. Hot tears streamed down her face. How could she have been so utterly stupid as to not know who the father of her baby was? How could she have robbed Brystol of her father for all these years?
She maneuvered out from under Bowie, refusing to look at him. She went toward the water, needing some space, and hoped that the rush of the waves would drown out the voices in her head. They were mocking her, telling her that she was a horrible person who had ruined innocent lives. She had kept her daughter from knowing her father, telling her for years that he had passed away. How was she going to tell her now, so many years later, that she had made a mistake? What words could be said to possibly undo the damage that she had caused? Not only was her daughter losing her grandmother, but she was also finding out that the man she had thought was her father wasn’t, and she wasn’t who she’d thought she was her entire life. Add to that the fact that her real father was alive—how did one come back from all of that? The knowledge that Carly had known and never said anything really boiled Brooklyn’s blood. Why had she kept this a secret from her? Doing so only increased the pain and suffering her daughter was going to go through.
Brooklyn wasn’t much better. She should’ve known there was a chance Bowie could be Brystol’s father, and yet, she had refused to ever consider the possibility. Standing there, looking out over the ocean, she felt his arms wrap around her and his lips press against her collarbone from behind. She didn’t deserve his affection. He should be yelling at her, calling her every name in the book, making her feel like she was nothing more than a huge mistake he had made all those years ago. But that wasn’t Bowie. He was forgiving and sweet. He saw the good in everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it. He was kind and gentle, and despite everything, he was still in love with her.
“Stop beating yourself up.” His voice barely rose above a whisper. How did he always seem to know what she was thinking?
“You’ve lost all this time with Brystol. I should’ve known.” A mother was supposed to know these things, right? She should’ve been able to look into her daughter’s eyes and tell that she was a Holmes and not a Woods. But she hadn’t, she couldn’t, nor had she ever even thought of doing that, because in her heart she had thought she knew that Brystol belonged to Austin.
She felt him shake behind her. “B, let me tell you something,” he stated as he turned her around in his arms to face him. He cupped her cheeks with his big calloused hands, and smiled. “From the second I saw Brystol, I thought she was Austin’s. I never looked at her and wondered if she was mine, so if you’re going to blame yourself for me not knowing I had a daughter, you might as well blame me too. I could’ve questioned you from the start. I should’ve known by looking at her, but I didn’t. Do you know why?”
Brooklyn shook her head.
“Because I know you well enough to know that if you knew—or even thought—she was my daughter, you wouldn’t have kept her from me. You wouldn’t have raised your daughter, telling her that her father was dead, if you thought for one second I could be her dad. So, just stop. Stop with the ridiculous thoughts going through that pretty head of yours. Do you want to know if I’m mad? Hell yes, I am, but not at you. At Carly. I’m pissed because she kept my daughter from me. She’s known for years and chose to keep that a secret, which is something I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to understand.”
Brooklyn couldn’t disagree with what Bowie was saying. Carly was in the wrong in more ways than one. When she had suspected Brystol wasn’t Austin’s, she should’ve said something to Brooklyn instead of having a DNA test done behind her back. She wasn’t even sure if that was legal and would have to ask her father about that later. Not that it would make a difference in the end because Carly was dying. But to keep the results to herself, to continue acting as if Austin were Brystol’s father, hurt Brystol more than anyone else involved, and that damage would have to be fixed now by Brooklyn and Bowie.
“Are you hearing me, B? Do you understand that I’m in this forever?” Forever was a long time, especially when there were so many unknowns. He pressed his lips to hers and held them there. She could taste the salt water on his lips and knew that salty kisses were something she wanted to get used to.