Highest Bidder

“And what did he say about that?”

“He said it was hard to believe.”

“Was that all?” he asked coldly.

“Yes,” I responded.

He got up from the bed and started pacing the floor.

“He said there was no evidence. It was just a child’s fury and pain and that you’ve nursed that misgui—” I stopped and rephrased. “You’ve nursed that thought all these years. That it has only turned you revengeful and bitter and ruined your life. He said you ran away to Tibet, and refused any wealth from him. You were determined to make it on your own. And the first time in a decade you visited on his birthday, it was only to threaten Liam.”

He walked up to me and looked down at me, and I didn’t like the dark look I saw in his eyes. All I could do was apologize, as I sensed that he especially hated that his father had revealed all these family secrets to me. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gone there. I had no right to interfere in something that is so painful for you.”

“Yes, you shouldn’t have gone. You are supposed to be on my side. If I can’t trust you to believe me …” He turned to leave.

I had never felt so inconsequential as I did now. “Brent,” I cried out. “I need to ask you something.”

He had been just about to head into the bathroom so he stopped to listen, but didn’t turn back to look at me.

“Did you …” I began. “I saw the news before I came, about Liam. He collapsed in a restaurant.”

He turned slowly and stared at me.

I looked back at him hoping he would tell me he had absolutely nothing to do with Liam’s collapse, but his gaze remained set in stone.

“Did you have something to do with it?”

“There you go again. That is none of your business, Freya,” he grated coldly. “This is between my family and me, and I don’t want you to be involved.”

Suddenly, I felt nauseous, so nauseous I had to jump out of the bed and sprint for the bathroom. He stood at the door as I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl. I felt dejected and on the brink of tears.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

I refused to meet his eyes. “It’s none of your business,” I replied, and rising to my feet, I exited the bathroom, grabbed my clothes, and was out of the house in no time.

He tried to stop me, but I screamed at him to fuck off.

Freya

On the train home, I began to shudder.

All I could hear was the whizz of the train as it sped past the stations and the cranking of the mechanism underneath. Every time the hydraulics hissed to pull the door open, I gazed at the influx and exit of people without seeing anything. A crippling suspicion had taken a hold of me from the moment I had left Brent’s home.

But it couldn’t be possible.

Maddie had brought it up the previous day. At that time, I thought she was being silly. Pulling up my phone again I searched different sites for the early symptoms of pregnancy and was hit with all my current symptoms. My breasts were swollen and tender and I was beginning to spot. All of these however had been the usual symptoms before my periods for as long as I could remember. What was new however, was the constant exhaustion, the fainting spell the previous night, and vomiting.

It was easier to believe that it was triggered more by Brent’s aloofness than what these damn sites were pointing me to. The train stopped once more and a new influx of commuters boarded. The breeze brought to me a strong whiff of garlic, and I instantly doubled.

My hand flew to cover my mouth as I retched. The person beside me instantly leaning away. I jumped to my feet just before the doors closed and sprinted from the train. I panicked as I realized I wasn’t going to make it to the bathroom. As I spun around in despair, tears stinging my eyes, I caught sight of a trash can by the corner and made it just in time to spew my guts into it. By the time I was done tears were running down my face.

“Are you alright, love?” a kindly woman asked.

“Yes, yes, thank you,” I said and moved on quickly.

I found the toilet and after washing my mouth, I exited Hyde park station. I walked along the park, seeing nothing until I got to High Street Kensington. I walked into a pharmacy and bought a pregnancy kit.

Then I boarded the next bus, found a seat at the back, and shut my eyes as I rode home. My mother was at work, just as I had expected so I went immediately to bed, and slept until the evening.

When I awoke that night, I retrieved the plastic bag and headed into the bathroom. My stomach and nerves were in knots that felt as though they could never be untied. I gazed at my phone on the floor before me, feeling more alone than I had ever felt before. The only person I could call would be Maddie. She would scold me, for sure, but she would be my rock.

To my surprise, I heard my mom arrive with the sound of her throwing her keys on the coffee table and her footsteps heading over to the kitchen.

Immediately, I jumped to my feet, grabbed the plastic bag containing the test and buried it deep in my wardrobe. I went out to join her and tried my best to completely put it all out of my mind.

From the time I began my period at thirteen, it had never been regular. The nausea and fainting were just a by-product of bad eating and the complication that was Brent Lucan. Nothing more.

I wasn’t pregnant.