With This Secret

I felt more than grateful because I was in much, much worse shape than he was. Totally spent and unable to do anything beyond bask in the dream of being held tightly against Levan Ivankov’s hard form while hot water cascaded down our bodies.

It didn’t even register that I spoke, until I heard the words coming out of my mouth, my voice shaky and thick with emotion, “How the hell am I supposed to ever recover from you?”

All I heard was his soft laughter, and the thought of losing him scared me.

35

Levan

I didn’t fall asleep.

After we’d taken a quick shower together, with me doing most of the washing as Bianca was too spent to even move, I carried her to bed and tucked her naked body underneath the covers with mine.

She soon drifted off to a deep sleep, while I was left listening to the gentle, even sound of her breathing. I basked in the aftermath of what had been the best sex of my life. In short, I had fucked us both nearly out of our minds, but all I could feel was love. It felt as though my heart had burst open, and fiery, molten lust had trickled down and set the whole of my stomach on fire.

She was even more than I had ever dreamed of. It wrenched at my heart to think I would have to leave her soon. And our separation could be years. Perhaps even forever.

The light from the moon cast a soft ethereal glow on her. I studied her features, determined to commit all of it to memory. From her beautiful, still slightly damp hair to the sweep of her long lashes as they lay on her cheek. I memorized the slight curve to the tip of her nose, as if it were the most important thing I had to remember in my life.

When she slept, her bottom lip protruded slightly more than the upper one, which gave the impression that she was in the middle of a pout.

My lips stretched into a smile at the thought, and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward to place a light kiss on her forehead.

Even in her sleep, she moaned and moved towards me.

I felt a bond with her that I never had with another, and I’d felt it from the very first moment I ever laid eyes on her. Then I had let it go, because I didn’t trust it.

But I trusted it now. The decision was made the moment I took her from Bogdan’s grasp and I was ready to give it all up for her. The feeling I had was very pure. I guess the closest thing to it would be a mother’s love. All I knew was that I needed to make sure she was safe, and happy, even if those things happened without me.

She stirred in her sleep, but then blindly turned towards me. She tapped her small hand on my chest and arm as if making sure I was still there then sighed in her sleep.

I felt my gut do a little flip in response.

Oh, Bianca, Bianca, Bianca. How can I keep you?

I buried my face in her neck and breathed in her scent.

I remained there for the longest time, my head full of thoughts on how to clean up the rubble that was slowly piling up at my feet. Before I knew it, the sun had started its journey back into my world.

She awoke when I moved, as though she could sense my restlessness. Her eyelids fluttered open and met mine …her eyes looked soft and dreamy.

This made me long for many more mornings of her waking up beside me. I almost choked on the emotion.

“Hey,” she breathed.

“Hey,” I choked.

“What’s the matter?” she asked with a frown.

“Nothing,” I whispered.

“Are you sure?” She wriggled her body closer to mine and reached up a hand to gently run it down my cheek.

I thought she intended to say something, but I could feel her curves and warmth setting me ablaze … this was the last thing I needed. Maxim was wrong when he said I was thinking with my dick. When it came to Bianca, it was my heart doing all the thinking. “We’re going to Spain today,” I informed her, shifting slightly away.

She frowned. “But you were let out on bail. Are you allowed to leave the country?”

“My dad called for me,” I explained. “Over the years, we’ve cultivated the art of disappearing when needed. I’ll get to Spain and return without the wrong people knowing about it.”

“Oh,” she replied.

I tucked her hair behind her ear. “And since it’s a very beautiful and serene place I’m expecting it to give you some space from all the madness here.”

“Okay,” she said.

Another stretch of silence passed before I spoke again, “I might also not be able to hold onto you, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you’re safe.”