Though she didn’t look to be feeling kind right now.
I didn’t really blame her. Eliza and Karen pretty much helped raised Nathan over the past three years, ever since Eliza had come to the door with cookies and seen him clinging to my leg, my house in shambles, something burning in the kitchen and my hair unwashed for who knew how long. She’d immediately thrust the cookies at me, yanked Nathan into her arms and barged into my house, demanding I take a shower while she took care of the kid and cleaned the house.
I had done so, mostly because of sheer surprise, lack of sleep, and desperation for a break. And because I saw her aura, felt it. I was comfortable around her from the start. The same with Karen. They were my sisters, my mothers, my aunts, my best friends.
And they had to hear, second-hand, what happened to Nathan.
I got out of the car, bracing for Karen’s wrath.
The past three years had been filled with mostly kindness, laughter, food, wine and happiness. But now and again, mostly when I hid how bad things had gotten a while back and didn’t accept help from her, Karen showed me she was a woman you did not want to fuck with.
She was very slow to anger, but when it came, hurricane sirens needed to be sounded.
I braced for it.
But she yanked me into her arms instead.
I sank into her embrace, though it threatened to break some of my ribs.
When she let me go, she was still scowling and her eyes shimmered with tears I’d never seen her let fall. “I can’t believe that you went through all of that and I was stressing over fucking website coding and Instagram algorithms,” she hissed.
I blinked away tears of my own, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to stop them if I started. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Her eyes only narrowed more. “Why are you sorry? This is my fault, I should’ve been a better friend. Should’ve checked on you. Should’ve…”
“Been clairvoyant and known that my estranged husband who we haven’t seen in three years would come here, punch me in the face and then kidnap Nathan the next day?” I finished for her, my voice dry. I reached out to squeeze her hand. “You are one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I’ve never had anyone like you and Eliza. You’re my family. And I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier, that you had to find out from Bobby. I just…” I trailed off. How could I tell her that I was ashamed? Ashamed that I let myself get in this position in the first place. Ashamed that I couldn’t protect my child. And terrified that if I called her and Eliza, if I called anyone who loved Nathan, that it would make it all real, permanent.
“I know, kid,” she said, hearing what I was saying without me having to speak. Her anger fizzled out of her, with only compassion left.
It was then Eliza walked up to us. She was night to Karen’s day. Tiny, shorter than even me, pure white-blonde hair, and always in a fifties-style dress. One of her arms was a full sleeve, in pastels and a true work of art. She was delicate, beautiful, soft-spoken but could totally be scary when she needed to be.
Karen let go of my hand so Eliza could hug me. I inhaled her sweet perfume. My body was starting to relax from this morning when I felt like all my muscles were going to snap from tension. It was really true that important people helped shoulder heavy weights.
I just needed to stop being so resistant to it.
“Nathan seems great,” she said when she released me, her eyes pausing over my face, her pink painted lips thinning.
I nodded. “He is taking this better than anyone,” I replied honestly. Definitely better than I was.
“’Course he is,” Karen contributed, grinning, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “He’s a badass.”
I smiled back, thinking about what Rosie said about him. Neither of them were wrong. My kid was a badass. I needed to follow his lead. Well, in some respects, not in the wetting my bed and picking my nose type situations.
“He says he wants to show you the donuts,” Eliza said to Karen with a wink. “And they’re the really good ones… from Alice’s Bakery.”
Karen’s eyes lit up. She was a bigger sweet tooth than my five-year-old son. She looked to me. “We’re coming over for dinner tonight. With wine.” It was not a question.
I nodded, I was relieved, not sure if I could be alone in my house. Lance had informed me that the ‘team’ managed to get a house down the street. I didn’t get time to question how they did this in such a short amount of time or what this was costing. I was being completely and utterly immature about all things pertaining to him and Greenstone Security, burying my head in the sand until I was strong enough to deal with the reality of it.