Southern Chance (Southern 1)

“Tomorrow,” I say softly, my eyes getting heavy. “Tomorrow I’ll work on not loving him.”

Chapter Seventeen

Jacob

She stood there in front of me, each word stabbing me in the chest. Each time, I wanted to tell her the biggest secret of my life. Each time, I wanted to take her in my arms. Yet each time, the lie stopped me.

The kiss was everything that I remember but even better. I haven’t kissed anyone in eight years. I haven’t touched anyone in eight years. I haven’t because no one could measure up to her.

“It is what it is, Jacob.” Her voice came out like there was nothing left inside her. The fight was gone. “Please don’t follow me.” She turns and walks away from me, and I’m about to take a step toward her when she stops and turns around and looks at me. “For eight years, I’ve thought of this, right here. I thought that you could give me answers. I thought you could tell me, but now I know it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters because in the end you chose her.” She shrugs, and I want to fucking shout that it’s not true. That I would never do anything to hurt her. “It would have been magical,” she tells me. “It would have been everything that I’ve ever dreamed up.”

“What would?” I ask, and now my own tears start to come.

“Our life,” she whispers and walks away from me. My legs actually give out on me, and I fall to my knees. I take out my phone and call the number I will always remember.

“Hello,” Charlotte says, answering the phone after one ring.

“Hey, it’s Jacob,” I say, my voice breaking.

“What happened?” she asks me, frantically, and I hear the covers rustle.

“I …” I start, “Kallie is on her way home.”

“Okay,” she says in a whisper.

“I’m going to make sure she gets there okay, but I won’t be with her.”

“I’ll be watching,” she says. Just as I’m about to hang up the phone, I hear, “Thank you, Jacob.”

Putting the phone in my pocket, I climb to my feet slowly and follow her back to her house. Never once getting close enough for her to know I’m there. The twigs cracking under her shoes is the only sound I hear.

She walks to the house, and when I see her kick off her boots and sit on the swing with her head hanging, anger and rage fill me because I did that to her. The woman with the most beautiful smile in the world sits with her head hanging because I just broke her again.

Turning, I make my way back to my truck and start it. I’m headed home when I turn back at the last minute. I pull up to the house, and the lights are all off. I knock on the door once, twice, and then the third time when I see the light in the hallway turn on.

I turn my back to the door and look out into the darkness of the night. When I hear the door unlock, I turn and look at Savannah, who looks like she was dead asleep. “Jacob?” She says my name with confusion. “What’s wrong?” She pulls her robe closer together.

“I was with Kallie tonight,” I say, “and she asked me when I fell out of love with her.”

“Jacob,” Savannah says softly, and she comes out of the doorway.

I take a step back. “She asked all the questions that I would ask her if the roles were reversed. She said I chose you over her.”

“I’m so sorry,” she says and shakes her head.

“She asked me all these fucking questions, and all I could answer her was it’s not what you think,” I say. “That’s all I could give her.”

“What do you want me to say?” Savannah asks, and it’s my turn now to ask her.

“I’m asking you permission to tell her.” I look down. “I promised you that I would keep your secret.” My heart speeds up.

“Jacob, what if she told someone?” she asks. “Everything will be ruined. Ethan will be thrown in this mess.”

“You think I don’t know that!” I shout at her now, angry with her. “You think this hasn’t crossed my mind in eight years? He is my son, mine.” I point at my chest. “Nothing will take that away from me and away from him.” I swallow. “I’m asking you to give me this, Savannah,” I plead with her. “Give me my life back. I beg you to give me back what you took from me.”

“I never wanted you to be caught up in this. I never wanted you to lose her. I know that losing her broke you, and I know that you blame me, even if you say you don’t. It’s why you flinch when I touch you. It’s why you won’t look me in the eye.”