“Deep breaths,” I muttered, looking from his intense stare to my boots.
His brows furrowed. “What?”
I snapped my gaze up. “I’m not talking to you,” I barked. “I’m talking myself out of making a scene or committing murder.” I glanced around and noticed Gage leaning against the bar, chugging a beer but watching our exchange with his calculating gaze. “Though, given the ownership of such an establishment, I doubt I’d be the first to spill blood here.” I pulled myself away from him. “But I’m starting fresh. Trying my best not to do things like murder. Or drugs,” I added harshly. “And to address you’re earlier statement, I’m here to work. And I’m sure you’ll have some kind of caveman opinion on the woman you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you own taking her clothes off for money.” I paused, raising my brow. “But I’m going to tell you now, that opinion isn’t going to change a damn thing. So how about we skip all the chest pounding and arguing and go straight to you storming out of here once you’ve realized you can’t change who I am, or what I do for a living?”
He stared at me. And stared. It started to get unnerving, but hell if I was going to be the one to speak first.
He finally stepped forward and grasped my hips tightly before I could scuttle away. I may have been gaining weight and muscle thanks to movie nights with Rosie and my last few practices with the pole, but I was no match for him.
“You think I want to change you?” he murmured. He brought his hand up to brush my newly dip-died purple ends. “You can’t change a wild thing. You try, you get yourself damned for trying to alter something so chaotically beautiful it hurts to look at. So you may drive me to fuckin’ drink, baby, but I’m not looking for eternal damnation. I’ve done plenty of things that might damn my soul, but this won’t be one of them.”
I lost my breath, my argument, my fricking sense at his words. He took advantage and closed the distance between us to savagely claim my mouth.
I was afraid he had already claimed everything else.
He pulled back when I was seriously about to climb him like a tree, right there in the middle of the club.
His eyes were liquid gold. “I don’t accept this.” His gaze flickered around the actually well-decorated and classy strip club. “This is not where you belong.” His eyes moved down my body, taking in my barely clad body. “And no one’s eyes but fuckin’ mine belong on that body. It makes my blood boil thinking of that.” He yanked me to him. “But as long as I’m the only one fuckin’ you till you can’t see or remember your own name, I’ll deal.”
Fury mingled with melancholy at his words. And temptation. Something I craved but couldn’t have. He needed to know that. So I didn’t struggle, glancing up to meet his eyes. “I can’t reconcile what I am with what you want me to be. I want to be her, the woman you think I am, but I’m not. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can both exit this delusion and get on with our lives.”
I let myself have one more moment in his arms before stepping back.
He glared at me. “I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are.”
“Really?” I scoffed. “Look around.” I held my hands out to the stage, the pole. “Look at me.” I gestured down to my bra and panties set. “Is this what you want from your ‘old lady’?” I asked honestly.
His gaze set me on fire. “Yes. It’s exactly what I fuckin’ want.”
Then he pressed his mouth to mine once more before letting me go, turning on his heel and leaving me standing there, all hot and bothered and wondering what the fuck just happened.
Two months later
What had happened on that Monday afternoon two months back was Gabriel claiming me. Or trying to.
What happened over the next two months was me fighting tooth and nail against that claiming.
I was barely my own, still finding out who sober Bex was, what she wanted from life.
I think that’s why he didn’t go full alpha. Why he only looked like he would kill every man in the audience every time I worked. And he was there almost every time. I tried my best to ignore him, to act like I wasn’t dancing for him, but he was like a magnet.
Nothing could change that.
Since I couldn’t change the laws of attraction, I controlled what I could. I made sure we didn’t do any couple shit like eat meals other than breakfast and midnight snacks together. Not that breakfast was a meal we normally had together, despite how good his pancakes were and how much Rosie loved them.