Because I fell into oblivion so quickly, I didn’t notice Asher watching me. Didn’t realize he spent the rest of the night with his hand on my chest, only surrendering to sleep when the daylight kissed the corner of the room, chasing away the demons of the night.
“I know I said you needed your rest for today, but I didn’t plan to let you do anything that would require energy … not until later at least,” Asher murmured, his arms going around my stomach and mouth at my neck. “I’m also not fond of waking up without you, I’ve had enough mornings of that,” he added on a grumble.
“You look so cute when you’re sleeping, I didn’t want to ruin it,” I replied, my eyes on the pan I was cooking breakfast in. “Plus, you said you wanted to get to know each other right? Getting to know me means tasting my world famous French toast,” I told him seriously.
Asher squeezed my waist. “I’m sure it tastes good, flower, but not as good as the breakfast I planned on having this morning.” His hand moved down to the waistband of my shorts.
I swallowed, doing my best to focus on the task at hand.
“And I’m not cute,” he continued, his hand tickling the top of my panties. “I’m manly and rugged, handsome if you must, but never cute,” he said firmly.
I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. I’d never really seen the playful side of Asher, I liked it. The juxtaposition of his muscled and hard exterior with such silliness was refreshing. It was also the first genuine laugh I’d had in a long time, in recorded memory it seemed.
Asher moved the pan off the stove and twisted me in his arms, hands going to my neck.
“I’ll forego my planned breakfast to hear that any day,” he told me quietly, his eyes serious. He stroked the corner of my eye. “See those light up.” His eyes moved to my mouth, which was still miraculously turned up. “You’ve got the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen,” he whispered. “I’ll move Heaven and earth to give you more reasons to show it to me.”
I blinked. “You have to let me finish our breakfast,” I muttered, not needing those feelings, the ones that came with those words. Not first thing in the morning. Not when they chased away the demons I’d been waking up with. I had to learn how to chase them away myself. Relying on Asher to do so would result in disaster.
He gave me a long look then leaned in and kissed me firmly. I expected him to move back and let me do my thing. He stayed, searching my face.
“You okay today, flower?” he asked with obvious concern, his large hand moving to my chest, letting it rise and fall with my breath.
I glanced down at how large and powerful it looked against my chest and gave him a shaky smile. “I’m fine.”
He gave me a look, his jaw hard and eyes plagued with worry, the playfulness of before long gone.
“It takes me a few days to get over the shock of it all, but physically, I’m fine,” I reassured him, placing my hand on top of his.
He searched my eyes, obviously looking for a lie. He nodded then kissed my head.
“I don’t want you hiding shit like that from me anymore. You’re feeling anything out of the ordinary, you tell me right away,” he commanded.
I nodded. It was the only way to get him off my case, I knew.
“Lily, I mean it. Anything, we’re going to the hospital,” he continued.
I wanted to roll my eyes. I also wanted to embrace the warm feeling that seemed to settle in my broken soul and start to jostle the broken pieces back together. The feeling of him taking care of me. Worrying about me. Caring about me.
I was lost in thought I didn’t notice he was staring at me expectantly, obviously waiting for a verbal response.
“Yes, Asher, I promise,” I said quietly.
“Good,” he replied simply, stroking my neck. “I don’t like that shit,” he muttered. “A girl like you shouldn’t struggle with something as simple as breathing, the world’s already taken enough from you. Trying to steal your ability to exist? To breathe easy? That shit’s not okay.” He played with a tendril of my hair. “I don’t want you breathless when you deserve to have every breath on this earth easy,” he muttered.
I stared at him. “If you don’t want me breathless then you might need to remove yourself from my immediate vicinity,” I half whispered. “Or make that my life. You steal my breath when you say things like that, but in a good way. In the best way,” I told him, surprising myself with my honesty. My shield was lying in tatters at my feet, and I stared at him with nothing protecting me. I trusted him not to hurt me.