But when I thought about home I also thought of Asher. He was my home.
“What do you want?” I asked finally. Asher hadn’t ever had a home, he deserved a choice.
His hands tightened around me. “I’ve got what I want, Lily, right here in my hands. I’ve got my wife. I’ve got my bike, my club, everything else is a bonus,” he declared.
I moved up on an elbow. “In that order?” I teased.
A grin tickled the corner of his attractive mouth. “You’re always first, Lily. It’s always you and me before anything out there.”
We stared at each other a moment. “Every memory I have of that house is full of happiness. Until three years ago. Then it all turned dark,” I spoke quietly, fighting the prickling of grief in my throat. “I don’t want it to end dark. I want our lives to color it again.”
Asher took me into his arms so I lay completely on top of him. He kissed my nose lightly.
“Then that’s what we’ll do, flower. Color your world so you don’t even want to remember what the darkness even looks like,” he promised.
And his promise held true. For a time.
Two Months Later
“You’ll do great,” Asher told me kissing me firmly.
I kissed him back distractedly trying to remember the correct terms and procedures for someone suffering a heart attack. My mind drew a blank. I was so screwed.
“I’m going to fail,” I whined dramatically. The pressure on my chest seemed to intensify with the building in front of me waiting, staring, holding my future within its walls.
Asher grasped my neck, forcing my gaze to move to something else. My attractive husband.
“You’re not going to fail,” he replied firmly.
His eyes, the certainty in them had me believing him.
Despite the fact I’d been on clinical placement for the past two months, that my life was constant motion once more, I was happy. I found joy in nursing that I thought would be lost with my mom. I wasn’t shy or anxious with my patients. I was confident, the only time I felt confident. I wasn’t running on empty, dragging myself out of bed every morning. I seemed to float out of bed, only after my husband woke me up in the most delightful way possible. I loved it. Loved him. Being married to Asher was like living a dream. Though news of a marriage wasn’t so well received everywhere.
I was hidden in my corner of the library once more, chewing on my pen with frustration. It was my day off from placement, but I realized how rusty I was, how much I needed to brush up on.
“Lily?” a familiar voice called my name,
I glanced up, and my body stiffened. “Aiden,” I greeted him coldly, mindful of our last conversation.
He pretended not to notice my chilly greeting and sat down. “I haven’t seen you around, I’ve tried calling you,” he said, putting his books down on the table.
“My phone … broke,” I explained. “I haven’t been around. I’ve been on placement.”
Aiden glanced at my books. “You’re obviously working hard. I’m happy for you,” he told me quietly.
“Thanks,” I replied softening. I was about to ask him how law school was going, but his eyes focused on my finger. My left hand.
“Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is,” he said quietly.
I followed his gaze, lifting my hand slightly. “Well, if you think it’s an engagement ring, it is what you think it is,” I responded.
His face paled. “You’re engaged, to him?” he spat out.
“I’m married,” I corrected.
Aiden’s eyes bulged, and he sat back in his chair. “Married?” he repeated.
I nodded.
“Jesus,” he muttered to himself. “You barely know him,” he added.
I frowned. “I know him,” I said firmly.
Aiden shook his head. “You’ve changed, Lily, you’re not who I thought you were,” he stated with disappointment.
I sat up a little straighter. “I haven’t changed. I’ve just found someone who lets me be me. Who sees me,” I informed him, gathering up my books. I stood, looking at the person I had thought was my friend. He wasn’t, he just saw that I was someone he thought he could mold into someone he wanted.
“Goodbye, Aiden,” I said quietly, turning my back on him.
Aiden wasn’t the only person gone from my life. As soon as Lucky found out the truth about Bex, the night of my wedding, in fact, he’d spirited her away to some cabin in the middle of nowhere. I knew this because she’d called me to let me know she was okay. Pissed off with a certain alpha male, but okay.
She arrived back a couple of weeks later, looking much better than when she had left. Though she and Lucky seemed to have some kind of arrangement, she was refusing to be labeled “his” or turn it into anything more. She also moved out of my mom’s, much to my dismay.