“Does it start with a Z and end with an ’ane’?” my perceptive daughter asked, lifting her head.
“You’ve got more brains than I give you credit for, Dollface,” I said.
“More than just a hat rack.” She tapped her head. She was silent and gave me a look. “Mom, it’s like totally obvious. Even the guys in the band saw it. I saw it way before then,” she said impatiently.
Of course she had. Batman had it right. Double lives were hard. Hence the mask.
“And you’re not mad? Don’t have questions?” I probed.
Lexie fully sat up, placing her coffee on the table. “Mad? No way! I’m ecstatic. You deserve someone, Mom. You’ve had years of bringing me up, working your butt off to give us this.” Her hands gestured around the house. “I would always worry you didn’t have someone. Now I get it, you were waiting for the right person. Zane’s your person,” she told me confidently.
I shook my head. She saw what even my broken soul stopped me from seeing. “Yeah kid, he’s my person. But you’re my one and only, you know that, right? My main person. No one ever knocks you off that spot,” I told her firmly.
Lexie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. I’m like the most amazing daughter ever. Even a hot biker couldn’t knock me off that spot,” she said. “Plus, I’m your meal ticket for when you retire. You need to stay on my good side.” She smiled at me brightly before standing up. “Got homework to do. Glad you’re happy, Mom,” she added the last bit quietly.
“Was always happy, kid,” I answered honestly.
She winked at me and sauntered out of the room.
Before I had time to think much about how awesome that conversation went my phone rang.
“Hey babe, Gwen gave me your number. Hope you don’t mind,” Amy’s voice greeted once I answered the phone.
I smiled and sank back into the sofa. “No, I don’t mind at all,” I told her honestly. I was happy these women had injected themselves into my and Lexie’s life so easily. We were social. I was social. I needed girlfriends only slightly less than I needed coffee. Although I sporadically talked to ones from home, I was lonely until these women came along.
“Saaweet. Well, I am calling to ask you and Lexie to come with me to LA to show me your sweet vintage shops, but I also have ulterior motives,” she spoke quickly. “Me, Gwen, Rosie and Lucy totally need the rundown on you and Bull. And I also wanted to make sure he didn’t like kill you and bury your body under the cover of darkness—he looked pissed at Lexie’s gig.” She paused. “Well, more pissed than usual.”
I laughed. I hadn’t wanted to talk too much about Zane to anyone. Maybe it was because I was ashamed, or because I didn’t feel full confident spilling my guts to people who were so close to him. Whatever it was stopping me, the barriers fell away and I found myself blurting the whole thing to Amy over the phone.
“So now he’s declaring me ‘his’ and talking about sleeping over here on the day I told my daughter about us and I’m worried this will send her the wrong message about sleeping with people and label me as a brazen hussy,” I finished, slightly breathless.
There was a full ten seconds of silence at the other end of the phone. “I’m coming over,” Amy declared finally.
I tried to protest that Lexie was within hearing distance, but I only got dead air. “Shit,” I muttered.
I decided to quickly tidy the house. It wasn’t exactly messy, but whenever I had company coming, I couldn’t help but straighten things up. Within minutes of finishing, I heard a knock at my door. I had checked in on Lexie to give her food and more coffee and she was hard at work with headphones in. Hopefully that meant the possibility of her getting scarred for life while overhearing her mom describe her sexscapades was significantly lower.
I opened the door to not only Amy, but Rosie and Lucy.
“Gwen can’t come ‘cause she had a baby doctor appointment,” Amy explained as I let them in the house. “She was going to try and get out of it but Cade gets all protective and pissy about that kind of stuff.” She rolled her eyes. “So I brought reinforcements.” She gestured to the women, then unearthed two bottles of wine out of her Celine handbag.
I gaped at her. “Amy, it’s barely lunchtime,” I told her.
Amy gave me a confused look. “So? We’re talking Bull entering into a relationship here. Wine is needed. I’ll get glasses.” Without another word she disappeared without asking where the kitchen was.
Lucy surprised me by hugging me. Something danced beneath her eyes. “Knew someone like you would catch one of the boy’s eyes,” she said quietly. “But I didn’t guess you would commence in fixing something I always thought would be broken,” she said softly.
I jerked, not really knowing how to answer that, so I instead gestured to the hall leading to the back. “Let’s take this outside.”
So that’s how I ended up replaying the story of Zane and I to Amy, Lucy and Rosie, who interjected routinely with questions and had their mouths agape when I finished the story.
Amy had a small smile on her face when I finished. “This is so fucking awesome!” she declared and I was surprised she didn’t fist pump.
I sipped my second glass of wine. “I don’t know. Isn’t this too fast? Especially in front of Lexie?” I asked uncertainly.
Rosie waved her hand. “No such thing. Your girl’s sixteen. She’s a product of modern society—she ain’t gonna bat one of those pretty little eyelashes, especially when she sees her mom’s happy,” she reassured me.
“Yeah, but this is just so intense, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. He seemed so adamant he couldn’t give me more. Now here we are…more.” I held out my hands.
Rosie gave me a sad smile. There was something behind it I couldn’t place. “Bull’s been through a lot. He probably didn’t think he’d ever have more. Ever want more. Now he does. Probably took him awhile to get right with that. He’s still probably trying to get right with that,” she told me softly.