My heart hurt just a tiny bit at this declaration. At the pain the man I loved lived with. He survived through. Right from being a kid whose dad beat him up, to a man who lost everything. Then found it.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmured. My eyes moved to him. “You’re beautiful. This,” I trailed again with my fingers. “Is a reflection of what’s inside. Beauty,” I told him sincerely. “I love the outside of you almost as much as I love the inside of you. The light and the dark,” I clarified.
I put my finger to his mouth when he moved me and made to speak. “Not done, big guy,” I told him. “I may not have shown it with the mastery of a withering glare and near muteness—I kind of went the other way—but I was broken too. In a way I didn’t think anyone could ever fix. Except Lexie, who gave me a reason to smile every day. To love every day.” I grinned at him. “Then a burly biker came into my life and scorched me with his withering glare. Little did I know he’d take every broken piece out of the ashes and put me back together,” I whispered on the end.
Zane yanked me fully on top of him, my naked body brushing his in a delightful way.
“You do not,” he clipped, holding me tightly, “get to say shit like that when I can’t fuck you senseless afterwards.”
Despite the fact he had just made love to me and given me two orgasms, getting “fucked senseless” sounded pretty damned good to me.
I kissed his chest. “Honey, I’m healed.” I waved my cast-free hand to help my point. “In more ways than one,” I continued quietly. He seemed to have a battle of the wills. Then, thankfully, he decided on the best option. He flipped me over; it was rough, but nothing like he would have done had my arm not been in a cast. His body hovered over mine.
“You do know,” he said, lips inches from mine. “I love you more than anything on this fuckin’ earth.”
I gazed into the bottomless depths of his now unshuttered eyes. “Yeah, honey. To the moon,” I whispered.
Then there were no more words, on the account of being fucked senseless.
Despite being married, living together, and kind of raising Lexie together, we hadn’t talked kids. I say kind of, because she was pretty much done being raised. She was done at fricking twelve. Unicorn kid. What can I say? She was like a reliable car. Just needed to keep it gassed, keep an eye on it and maintain it once in a while. The raising part was done. She was grown, much to my horror.
So we more than anything just enjoyed the family we had created. I basked in true unconditional happiness for once in my life, without the shadow of Sid haunting me. He had mysteriously disappeared when the police transported him from the house to the jail. When I had questioned Zane on this while in the hospital, he had given me a hard look. “He’s gone,” was his answer.
“Gone? Like sunning himself on a beach in Mexico type gone or resting in a shallow grave off an abandoned highway type gone?” I asked in an even tone.
Zane had looked at me for a long while after I asked this. His eyes roved over my arm and my face in silence.
I had resigned myself to the fact I’d never get an answer until I had reasonable motor skills and could sex torture him out of it. It was a thing. Gwen had informed me of its effectiveness.
“Gone in a way that you and Lexie never have to live on the same earth he wastes oxygen on ever again,” he told my eyes finally, his tone flat.
His voice was slightly guarded, as if I would have some sort of hysterical reaction to the man I loved basically informing me he had killed the father of my child, who had beaten and almost killed me and haunted my life for sixteen years.
“Okay,” I said.
He raised an eyebrow. It was the most animated surprised reaction I had ever seen on him.
So kids hadn’t reached the table yet. Not that I didn’t want them. I did. Having Lexie was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me. Having Zane’s child, I knew would be nothing short of amazing. I wasn’t exactly a spring chicken so I couldn’t wait forever. I also knew I had to give my husband time. Time to adjust to having us permanently without the prospect of losing us. Which I knew haunted him still. So I waited until it seemed like Mother Nature had other plans. I didn’t want to go informing him just yet—although Lexie and her big mouth would do it for me if I wasn’t careful—which was how I found myself at the doctor. Just to be sure.
Then that was how I found myself leaving the doctors with a little picture of that looked like weird modern art, but was one of the most important little pictures I had ever held. The one of the six-week-old little peanut growing in my stomach. One I loved as much as I did Lexie already.
I had been studying the picture so intently on my way to the car I didn’t even hear my phone ring the first time.
“Mia.” Zane’s voice was weird when I answered on the second ring, like he knew something. It wasn’t possible. I knew he was hot and the enforcer of whatever for the club, which made him a crazy bad ass with many abilities. I did not think those abilities came with pregnancy sensing powers. I did know they came with crazy sperm though, considering I was not the only Old Lady to get preggers while on the pill.
“In addition to O Luscious One, that is one of the titles I answer to,” I said with false seriousness, ignoring the potential baby sensing ability.
He did not find my phone humor amusing on this day. “Where are you?” he clipped with impatience.