Cade had pretty much demanded we get married once I woke up in the hospital. I think he would have happily done it right then and there, but I convinced him I wouldn’t get married while wearing polyester. I managed to hold him off a month, a freaking month after Belle was born and he expected me to squeeze into a wedding dress. It was a good thing I was in love with the man or I would have been seriously pissed. Luckily, through a combination breastfeeding and being too anxious about the growth of Belle’s hair, I hadn’t had much of an appetite, which meant I didn’t look like a beached whale at my wedding. Not that Cade made me feel like that for a second. The look he gave me when I walked down the aisle made my insecurities melt away. That and the kiss he landed on me as soon as I made it to him. I had been ready to forgo the ceremony and demand he whisk me away and ravish me.
Arms went around my middle and I jumped, being too deep in my thoughts to notice another presence.
“Baby?” Cade questioned. His deep voice was quiet, noticing the fact our daughter was sleeping.
I was about to tell him about Amy when Belle made the noise.
“Did you hear that?” I whispered, narrowing my eyes.
“What?” His body turned taut, instantly alert.
“That noise she’s making. It doesn’t sound normal. I think we should take her to the doctor,” I declared, frowning at my baby.
Cade relaxed and gently pulled me away from the crib, turning me to face him. He grasped my neck with his hands, his grey eyes meeting mine.
At any other moment I would be drooling at his hotness. His shoulder-length inky black hair, sharp and stubbled jaw and sexy gaze were a pot of male deliciousness. I appreciated it but I had bigger fish to fry. Namely making sure my baby wasn’t suffering from some kind of deadly snuffling attack.
“Gwen, she’s fine. She’s perfect—you need to take a breath. And a nap,” he said firmly.
“Are you crazy? How can I take a nap? What if something happens to her while I’m asleep? I’m her mother, I need to protect her,” I replied, my voice bordering on hysterical.
“That’s what I’m here for, babe. It’s my job to take care of both of my girls. You are the most precious things on the entire fuckin’ planet. I would never let one thing hurt either of you. I’d die first,” he promised, hands tight at my neck.
My stomach plummeted. “Don’t say that,” I pleaded. “Don’t say die.”
Cade sighed and pulled me into his arms. “I’m sorry, baby—you’ve been through so much shit. You amaze me how strong you are to pull through it and still be who you are.” He grasped my hair, meeting my eyes again. “But that shit makes you aware of all the things that can go wrong. Now that you know it can happen you’re convinced it’s gonna happen again. It won’t.” His words a promise, his eyes were so intense I believed him.
Suddenly I realized how neurotic I had been.
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m just terrified,” I confessed. “After Ian I was so sure I’d never feel truly happy again. And now I am. I’m so happy that I’m terrified that something’s going to happen. Because no one can be this happy, not without something ruining it.” My voice broke at the end and a single tear trailed down my cheek.
My hard biker’s face softened and a callused hand stroked my cheek.
“Baby, the shit you’ve been through, the shit you’ve survived? You deserve a lifetime of happy and I’m going to make fucking sure you get it.” He finished this with a kiss.
Plastering my mouth against his, I moaned as his tongue explored my mouth, my worries about Belle fading away.
I pulled back abruptly. “Amy,” I muttered.
Cade’s face was blank. “Not too sure I’m happy you’re thinking about Amy when I’m doing that, babe.”
I shook my head. “That was great. Amazing. Obviously. But it’s Amy…I don’t know where she is. She’s missing.”
Cade’s body tightened at this and he instantly turned into the alert, macho alpha male. “Explain,” he ordered.
I recounted what Katherine had told me. “That means she’s been MIA for two weeks Cade. I’ve talked to her since then but maybe only twice. And both times she said she was busy and had to go. I’m worried.” I chewed my lip.
Cade brought his thumb up to my mouth, lightly brushing it.
“She’ll be fine baby. She’s probably just getting some time away from it all. I know something happened with Brock that might have had her wanting to disappear for a bit.”
I raised my eyebrow threateningly at this. My man had better not have been withholding information from me.
“I don’t know any specifics—put your claws away. I just know that he’s been a grumpy motherfucker. Not that that’s really news over the past year, but more so than usual. Something went down—maybe Amy just needed to get her head straight,” Cade said reassuringly, rubbing my arms.
I chewed on this for a moment. “But why wouldn’t she tell me? She’s my best friend and she’s going through all of this on her own.” I gazed up at him, tears welling in my eyes.
She was the one who would tell me I was being a crazy person worrying about things like snuffles and hair growth. She’d pour me a cocktail and distract me with Celine’s latest collection or some inane celebrity gossip.
“I don’t make sense without her. Where is she?”
CHAPTER ONE
I slung back my fifth shot, savoring the burn at the back of my throat and the tingling in my fingers as the alcohol seared into my system.
“Another.” I pushed my glass at the bartender without looking up.
He didn’t say a word, nor did he raise a judgmental eyebrow that I was drinking alone in the early afternoon. I was pretty sure it was barely past lunch. This was most likely due to the kind of establishment I was currently welcoming oblivion in. It was dark, with an old wooden bar and equally old chairs and tables scattered around the place. The paint was crumbling at the walls and the clientele was as rough as the bar itself. Not that I cared. As long as they provided alcohol that let me escape into blissed numbness I did not give a shit.