“Cade…” I interrupted, not wanting to hear anymore, but his eyes turned hard.
“I’m speaking now, babe, shut it. Wait till you hear the whole fucking story before you say one more word.” His voice was tight. “We had shit going with another club, not gonna elaborate, babe. But that shit got bad, brothers both sides felt the hits. But no women, fuck, women never see that kind of shit. Until that day. Laurie went for a walk, a walk in the town she lived, place she felt safe, happy. They snatched her right off the street, broad daylight, fuckin’ witnesses.” Cade’s eyes turned feral, he was devastated and furious.
Of its own volition, my hand reached up to stroke his cheek.
“Soon as we found out, had to lock Bull down. He was ripping things apart, in a rage like I never seen, he couldn’t check it, couldn’t reign it in, couldn’t help Laurie like that. We had boys out looking for her, even got the fuckin’ pigs involved, cos we knew what they’d do to her. Didn’t help. We got the call, telling us to back down or they’d kill Laurie. We knew they’d kill her either way, these weren’t the kind of guys to just drop her off, unharmed. Minute they got what they wanted they’d put a bullet in her brain. We were in an impossible position.”
I felt the pain in his voice. I immediately knew Luke was wrong, those men did care about this girl, but Luke’s mind was so clouded by hate, that he couldn’t see the love.
“Honey…” I started, but Cade cut me off again.
“I’m speakin’, babe.” He sighed, looking to the ocean then back at me. “We gave in to those boys, there would have been blood, a shit storm we couldn’t weather, the town couldn’t weather. We knew either way, Laurie got dead. So we tried to find her, ripped apart the fucking countryside looking for her. We couldn’t, they dropped her off the next day. Left her alive, barely, they did that on purpose. It was the worst day of my goddamn life, seeing that girl like that, seeing my brother, unravel. Life went right out from behind his eyes, he’s empty now. The only way he got through any of it was cos of the club, because we had his back, pulled him through.” Emotion saturated his voice.
I stared into his eyes, lost for words, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks. Cade’s thumbs wiped them away. Seeing the grief, the raw pain in his eyes, something in me clicked. This wasn’t Jimmy, wasn’t even close. Jimmy’s boys didn’t give a shit about me, didn’t blink as they beat me, as they watched Jimmy beat me. I saw the love that Cade had, love for his brother, love for that girl. The pain he obviously felt, still felt. I was so conflicted, he was obviously different, and the men in the club were different. But that didn’t mean the club was, it caused her death, no matter what way you look at it, no matter how much it broke their hearts. I had no words, no kind whispers to make anything better, so I touched my mouth to his. That’s when my actions stopped. He gripped the back of my head, thrusting his tongue into my mouth, his kiss unraveling me, draining me.
I felt him fall back on the sand and I fell on top of him. His hands travelled down my back, resting on my bottom, kneading it. Delightful shivers ran down my spine as I ground up against him, needing to feel closer.
Then I realized where we were on a beach, in public, in broad daylight. Shit! I sat up quickly and Cade frowned, trying to pull me back down and after being unsuccessful he sat up.
“Babe, like your mouth, like you on top of me, especially after all that. What the fuck?” he growled.
“We’re in public Cade,” I declared, righting my shirt and darting my eyes around the beach. Thankfully there wasn’t anyone in the immediate vicinity.
“So?” He stared at me, annoyed.
“So? I thought that might be enough of a deterrent! We could get done for indecent exposure!” I blew the hair out of my face to see him smile.
“Baby, was kissing you. Wasn’t fuckin’ you, and sure as shit wasn’t going to expose any of you, that’s for my eyes only. Although you are exposing more than enough in those shorts.” His gaze narrowed, dropping to my legs.
“These shorts are the shit,” I snapped, sensitive to people criticizing my fashion choices.
“Yeah they are, your legs look amazing in those things, all I can do is imagine them wrapped around my back, and that will be what every other man will be thinking when he looks at you.” He raised his eyebrows. “Not too keen on men thinking about my woman like that.”
His woman. It hit me. He considered me his, considered us together, as he had done pretty much since the first moment we met. That was intense, too intense. Given all the information I had learned about him and the club, I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted. We had slept together once, okay more than once technically, but we had spent only one night together. A handful of amazing make out sessions, multiple orgasms and limited conversation did not a relationship make. I couldn’t deny this man was under my skin, there was something between us, something I couldn’t describe but something that seemed to turn this relationship up to warp speed. With a regular guy this would freak me out, with someone who represented a past I was trying to escape, it made me want to run for the hills.
“Gwen?” Cade asked softly, interrupting my inner monologue.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered, watching as his face hardened.
“Yes you can, Gwen. Don’t let that prick deputy get into your head,” he said fiercely, holding me tight.
“This has nothing to do with Luke, I just can’t do this.” I gestured between us. “There’s things you don’t know about me…”