I heard Cade’s hissed breath but he still didn’t turn. I wanted to go to him but I couldn’t, I couldn’t bear to see what might be disgust or rejection in his eyes. So I carried on, I had to make him understand.
“I was lucky. So incredibly lucky that I had a friend who saw the signs, he knew what I was going through, he suspected what I was going to do. He walked in on me with a handful of pills. He saved my life,” I whispered. “I managed to get help, talk through my issues. But until I met you, I was still broken. I was resigned to the life I was going to live. I wasn’t unhappy, but I would never have the appetite for life I used to. Or so I thought.” The energy in the room turned electric, but Cade still didn’t turn. I willed myself to finish what I had to say.
“I’m not trying to say that I would ever consider hurting myself again. I’m in a good place now, a healthier place, but you fixed me. You scared away my demons, made me fall in love with you. I don’t care about the club, what you think might happen. I trust you, feel safe with you. I’m not letting you walk out of my life because you are trying to protect me. If you walk out that door you will hurt me more than any evil thug ever could.” I finished on a whisper, my voice barely audible.
The silence in the room rang in my ears; I felt sick at Cade’s lack of response. I didn’t know what to do, I was about to run out of the room and go and curl into a ball of despair when he turned. All of sudden he was right there, in my space, hand yanking my head to his and his lips meeting mine. The kiss was frenzied and tender at the same time. His mouth plundered mine with an intensity I could hardly fathom. This kiss mirrored the one we had on the side of the road, so full of emotion and passion I could hardly stay standing. Cade’s hands moved to my butt and he lifted me, my legs instinctively going around his waist. He never broke contact, but I felt him walking, climbing the stairs. I heard the door to my room slam behind us, but I was in a fog, almost delirious. I ground myself against him, craving him, aching to get as close as possible. My hands went to my tee, pulling it off, having to break contact with Cade while I pulled it over my head was near painful. I ignored the twinge in my ribs. In a flurry of desperate activity we were finally both naked, Cade gently laid me down on the bed, his body settling on top of me. His eyes met mine, the look on his face so incredibly tender, my heart jumped. Then he was inside me. I moaned into his mouth, pleasure and relief flooding through me. He pulled his mouth back and slowly moved, eyes never leaving mine. One of his hand’s bit into my hip, the other roughly cupped my face. I could tell he was holding back, treating me like I was made of glass on account of my injuries.
“You are the strongest, bravest, most caring person I have ever met. You fucking amaze me. Every time I slide into you I thank god for making such a perfect creature.” His voice was rough, he didn’t stop moving, eyes locked on me.
I swear I felt my heart stop, warmth spread through my body as Cade brought me to the most intense orgasm I’ve had, like, ever.
It had been an indefinite amount of time, could be minutes or hours. I wasn’t sure. Cade was still on top of me, still inside me. Neither of us had said a word. Cade slowly pulled out of me, his body leaving mine. I made a little whine of protest, digging my hands into his back. He smiled down at me and I swear to god it was the most erotic and beautiful thing I had ever seen.
“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll be inside you again soon. I actually plan on being inside you for the rest of the night. As long as you aren’t hurting.” He glanced down at my ribs with concern. “But we have to talk first.” He rolled onto his back but brought me into his side carefully, pulling my leg so it was cocked over his and tucked me into his shoulder.
I still hadn’t said a word, he stroked my hair.
“What you said before, Gwen, you were wrong. You’re not weak, nor are you a fucking coward. Don’t want you ever saying that about yourself again.” His voice was still tender but it had a bite. “You’re human. What happened to you was fucking horrific, I know men who would’ve broken down under the weight.”
“But I did break down,” I whispered, voice ragged.
Cade lifted me up slightly so his eyes were on mine. “Like I said, babe, you’re human. But you’re also the kind of person who has friends who would lay down their lives for you. Friends who would do anything for you, like save your life.”
My breath hitched a little at his words and he kept going.
“Says a lot about you, babe, that you would inspire people to be that devoted to you. It’s cos you’re special, so goddamn amazing that people gravitate to you. I owe Alex my fuckin’ life, he saved you so you could be brought to me. You’re strong, babe. Even after trying to hurt yourself, you fought back, became yourself. Not a lot of people would do that, most people would spiral and find themselves in a blackness they couldn’t escape.”
His rough hand stroked my face, reverence in his gaze.
“Because of who you are, Gwen, you not only pulled yourself out of that blackness, but pulled out one of my best friends. You are strong baby, one of the strongest people I know. Never doubt that, even after today. I nearly fucking broke down, seeing you hanging from that fucking ceiling. You were the one that brought me back from the edge, your spirit your faith in me.”