Before I Die

“Okay, continue,” Blaire insists.

“He asked me if I was seeing anyone and, to save myself from being humiliated, I lied and said I was.”

Blaire grins like a freaking Cheshire cat. She would never judge me or make me feel guilty about anything. It’s easy and comfortable to talk to her, knowing I can tell her anything—unlike my mom, who’d have me in a confessional quicker than one could say Hail Mary.

“My little Nevaeh Hansen lying. I feel like I should hug you.” She holds out her arms and I roll my eyes, continuing my story.

“Without looking, like an idiot, I pointed toward the bar and said the guy I was seeing was over there…and to my surprise, Gerald wanted to meet him.”

Blaire’s eyes widen. “What did you do?”

Blush creeps up on me as I remember what happened next. “I walked up to a random guy and kissed him.”

Blaire jumps off the bed with her mouth hanging open, her milk almost sloshing out of the cup. “Are you freaking serious?”

“And he kissed me back,” I whisper excitedly.

“Oh my God! Who are you right now?” Blaire cracks up laughing. She sets her milk on the nightstand and hops back onto the bed. “How was the kiss?”

“It was amazing. It felt like the entire world around us disappeared. His lips were so soft yet strong, making me want to soak up every single drop of him. He consumed every part of me. I felt sparks, Blaire. Real sparks.”

“Was he cute?” Blaire asks, practically bouncing up and down on the bed in anticipation for my response. The woman has been boy crazy since we were in middle school. I remember when her mom bought her her first teen magazine featuring Zac Efron on the cover, and she snuck it over to my house so she could show it to me. My mom walked in and demanded she not bring that filth into our home again.

“He was undeniably beautiful. His dark brown eyes were like warm brownies straight from the oven!” I gush. “And my goodness, with his chiseled jawline and perfectly straight nose, he could be a model in a magazine. He wore a sharp, expensive-looking black suit that fit his body like it was tailored perfectly for him. And when we kissed, my hands went to his chest and I felt the hardness of his muscles underneath his clothing…”

And now I’m picturing him naked.

Stop it, Nevaeh.

He’s a stranger.

You’ll never see him again.

And even if you did, a man like him would never want a Catholic virgin like yourself. He probably has dozens of hot women lining up to get a piece of him.

“Damn, he does sound hot!”

“And strong!” I add. “Right in the middle of our kiss, he picked me up and placed me on top of the bar like I weighed nothing!”

“Shut the front door! I can’t believe I missed all this!” Blaire throws her arms in the air, making me laugh. “Okay, so what happened once you finished your hot and heavy make out session?”

“Gerald walked over with his new fiancée, and the guy I had just attack-kissed took complete control of the situation after I silently pleaded with him to help me. He was the best two-minute boyfriend…until he lied.”

“What did he lie about?” Blaire’s brows furrow in confusion.

“He told Gerald that he and I were sleeping together behind Gerald’s back for a year. Only he said”—I lean in close to Blaire to whisper—why, I have no clue. Maybe I’m afraid my mom will hear me all the way from her house and slap me with a Bible—“he was pounding into my tight, warm, effing…” I point down to my vagina.

“Vagina?” Blaire finishes my sentence.

“Nope…the c-word.”

Blaire cackles as my cheeks heat up from embarrassment.

“And you know what? I never imagined such derogatory words could be such a turn on, but it was. He has me feeling things I’ve never felt before.”

“I love this guy. We have to find him again.”

I shake my head. “He left before I could even thank him. I feel so bad. I pretty much used him.”

“Well, you shouldn’t. Gerald is an asshole and needed to be put in his place. Did you get his name?”

“Ethan.”

“Sexy name.” She waggles her eyebrows. “Next time you see your two-minute boyfriend, Ethan, tell him to kick Gerald’s ass. He sounds like the kind of guy who totally would.”

“I wouldn’t want Gerald to get hurt. We might’ve ended on bad terms, but he’s not a bad guy.”

Blaire completely ignores my comment and changes the subject. “I hope you had a great birthday, Nevaeh. You deserve everything and more.” She pulls me into a hug and I hug her back, tears prickling my eyes. There’s so much life I want to experience. I just need to make it happen.

“I had an unforgettable night, and although I’m sure Ethan has forgotten about me by now, I’ll never forget him or that kiss.”