Before I Die

“Oh, Nevaeh! You look gorgeous,” Raquel says, giving me a hug. “Happy Easter.”

“Thank you. Happy Easter.”

After giving Andrew a hug, and Raquel giving Ethan one, we walk into the church. Blaire told me she and Victor would be here as well, so I look around for her—safety in numbers and all that.

Unfortunately, before I find her, my mom finds me. “Nevaeh,” she says, plastering on a fake smile. “And I see you brought your man friend.”

“Actually…” I release Ethan’s hand. “He’s my husband.” I show her the beautiful diamond ring. “And these are his parents,” I continue, without giving her a chance to lose it. “Andrew and Raquel Romero, this is my mother, Susan Hansen, and my father, Edward Hansen.” I point to my father, who’s standing behind my mother.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Raquel says, stepping forward and shaking first my mom’s and then my dad’s hand.

“Did… did you just say?” my mom stutters. “You’re married?”

“Yes.” I nod, walking past her to give my father a hug.

“Congratulations,” my dad murmurs. “Would’ve been nice to be there…”

“Oh, we weren’t either.” Raquel jokingly glares. “We’ll be having another wedding and reception soon.”

My dad chuckles and nods. “You look happy.”

“I am.” Tears prick my eyes. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been around…”

“No, don’t apologize,” he says softly. “I get it. But in the future, if you need a break from your mother, don’t go silent on me, please.”

“Nevaeh!” Blaire squeals, speed walking down the aisle. “Let me see that ring.”

“You knew?” my mom spits out, finally finding her voice. “Of course you knew! I always knew you were a bad influence on my daughter.”

“Mom, this was my decision, not Blaire’s,” I say. “If you can’t be happy for me, that’s fine, but please keep your negativity to yourself.”

“That is not how you speak to your mother.” She glances around at everyone. “First, I lose your brother and now you.”

“You haven’t lost me, Mom,” I tell her, taking her hand in mine. “But if you keep pushing me away, you will.”

“I can’t do this,” she says, yanking her hand from me. “Not here… not now.”

“Ethan’s parents have invited everyone over for brunch. Why don’t you and I talk after church and then go to their place?” I glance at my father, hoping he’ll back me up, and he doesn’t disappoint.

“That sounds lovely, Susan. You were just saying you didn’t have time this year to pick anything up to cook.”

Mom whips around, and even though I can’t see her face, I know she’s glaring at my father. But since we’re at church in front of everyone, and she’s already making a scene, she simply nods and mumbles, “fine” before stalking over to her seat.

“It could’ve gone worse,” Ethan murmurs into my ear as we find our seat in the same row as my mother.

The service is the same as every year. We pray and sing, and before the priest closes out the service, the kids come up for a cute little performance. By the time it’s over, I’m feeling a lot calmer and glad Raquel and Ethan insisted we come. That is until I see my mom stand and leave out the side exit.

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” my dad says, “but your mom said she wasn’t feeling well and insisted I bring her home.”

“It’s okay, Dad.” I give him a kiss on his cheek. “It’s not your fault. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He smiles softly at me, and I suddenly feel the need to tell him everything. What Stephen told me, about my condition. I wanted to talk to my mom first, but there’s a chance she won’t come around, and I can’t keep everything from my dad. He deserves better than that.

“Dad, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Nevaeh,” Ethan warns with a shake of his head. “Not here.”

He’s right, but I do need to tell him.

“What’s wrong?” my dad asks.

“Can we talk soon, please? Maybe we can meet for lunch?”

“Of course. Let me know which day and I’ll make sure to block out as much time as you need.”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll call you once I figure out which day.”

“Sounds good.” He kisses my cheek. “Have a good day.” He shakes everyone’s hands before exiting in the same direction my mother left.

The rest of the morning goes—for the most part—smoothly. Raquel makes a delicious brunch and Blaire, Victor, and their parents join us at Ethan’s parents’ house. Unfortunately, just after we eat and are lounging outside, enjoying the beautiful weather, a headache comes on and Ethan insists we leave. But not before Blaire asks why Ethan is acting like my headache is life-threatening, and I’m forced to tell her everything.

“You’ve known about this for years and you never told me!” Blaire cries once I finish. “What if something had happened?” She pulls me into a hug and we cry until our tears dry up, and my head is pounding so badly I can barely see straight.