I rub myself through my orgasm.
Then I open my eyes. Stare back at him.
He takes my hand. Brings my fingers to his mouth. Sucks the taste of me off them.
I lower my body onto his. So my crotch is against his. He’s still hard. And I still want that so fucking badly.
I’m still so fucking empty.
So in need of filling.
“Fuck me.” My cheeks flush. “Please.”
He nods hell yeah, wraps his arms around my waist, pulls my body into his.
In one swift motion, he lifts me, lays me down on the lounge chair next to ours.
He does away with his t-shirt. Pulls something from the back pocket of his jeans.
A condom.
I watch closely as he slides his jeans off his hips and kicks them aside.
Then it’s the boxers.
And it’s just him.
Oh my God.
That’s… a lot.
And I—
“Come here.” He tosses the packet on the table. Sits next to me. “Spread your legs—”
I’m staring. But I just… oh my God. “You’re…”
“Yeah.”
“And that’s… wow.”
“Come here.” He takes his first two fingers. Slips them into my mouth.
I suck hard.
But I only get him for a second. He pulls his hand from my mouth. Slips it between my legs.
Fuck, there’s something about the feeling of his hand between my legs. It’s different than mine. Different than him watching.
More intense.
Just more.
He teases me with two fingers. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
I nod okay.
He holds my gaze as he slips both fingers inside me.
Fuck. It’s a lot.
Intense.
But not painful.
His eyes fix on me. He studies my expression. Waits until my shoulders sink into the chair and my eyes close.
Then he pushes his fingers deeper.
“Holden—” I reach for him. Get his chest. No shirt in the way. Just his soft skin. His hard muscles. His flesh against mine. “That’s… fuck.”
He pushes a little deeper.
My fingers curl into his skin. “More.” My eyes blink open. Meet his.
Somehow, he’s lost and found at the same time.
Somehow, he’s exactly where he needs to be.
We’re both exactly where we need to be.
This is why people talk about making love, becoming one, feeling another person’s soul.
It’s just right.
It’s perfect.
He watches my expression as he drives his fingers into me.
He does it slowly at first.
Then a little faster.
A little harder.
It’s intense. In a good way. Like jumping into the ocean.
Too much.
Then exactly enough.
He pulls his hand back. Reaches for something. The condom.
He tears the packet with his teeth. Slides the rubber over his cock.
Fuck, there’s something about the gesture. It’s not like the girl from my homeroom said. It’s not some bummer that takes me out of the moment.
It’s really sexy.
He’s so sexy. It’s impossible. It’s impossible to believe that he’s about to—
“Breathe for me, baby.” He wraps his arms around my waist. Places his body between my legs.
Slowly, he lowers his body onto mine.
There’s something about the weight of him, the pressure.
Holden looks down at me as he brings his hands to my hips.
He tilts my pelvis. Holds me steady as he brings our bodies together.
I hook my legs around his waist.
He stares into my eyes as he moves closer, closer—
There.
A sharp tug of rubber.
Then pressure.
So much pressure.
And this overwhelming sense of being full.
My eyes close.
My nails dig into his back.
My legs squeeze his thighs.
“Breathe, baby.” He runs his lips over my neck.
I nod though my inhale.
He brings his lips into my skin. A kiss. Then the soft scrape of his teeth.
Harder.
So hard it hurts. But only barely. And in the best possible way.
“Fuck. That’s…” I reach for words. Find nothing. “More.”
He shifts a little deeper as he scrapes his teeth against my neck.
Then deeper.
Deeper.
Mmm.
He nips at the curve of my neck.
A groan falls off my lips.
“Inhale.” He scrapes his teeth against my skin again.
I suck in a deep breath.
“Exhale.”
I push the air from my lungs.
Then I do it again. Again.
Slowly, the pain fades to discomfort.
Then pressure. So much pressure. Almost too much, but, somehow, I need more.
“More,” I breathe.
He looks down at me for a second, then he shifts back and fills me with a slow, steady thrust.
“Fuck.” I dig my nails into his back. Suck a breath through my teeth.
“Too much?” He holds my body against his.
“No. A lot. But not too much.”
“Just breathe, baby. I’ll take care of the rest.”
I nod an okay.
His eyes stay trained on me. He pulls back. Fills me with another steady thrust.
It’s a lot. It hurts.
I let my eyes close.
Let my nails dig into his back.
Let my thighs squeeze his hips.
Deep breath.
Slow inhale.
His next thrust is deeper. It stretches me. Stretches me further than I’ve ever gone.
It’s a lot.
So much pressure I might burst.
But no pain.
He fills me again.
A little faster. A little deeper.
I stretch a little further.
My nails scrape a little harder.
He brings his lips to my neck. His hand to my chest.
He toys with my nipple, drawing soft circles, as he nips at my neck.