Her fingers brush my chest. “I’m glad I didn’t.” She slings her arm around my neck. “Is this okay?”
I nod. “I’m glad you didn’t too.”
Her smile spreads a little wider. “It was… I just… Can we do it again?”
My laugh is easy. “Here?”
“Is that even possible?”
“You don’t think I’m up for it?”
She wraps her legs around my waist. “I’m not sure I am. That’s a lot of athleticism.”
“You’re a strong swimmer.”
“Maybe closer to the sand. But, that’s—”
“Yeah.”
“And, uh, there are a lot of people here.”
“There are.”
“Wouldn’t be appropriate.”
“You’re only encouraging me.”
She smiles. Presses off my chest. Treads water a foot away. “I guess I have to save you from yourself.”
“Someone should.”
“So, uh…” She motions to the greenery covering the roof. “You love the beach too?”
“Always have. But I have a new appreciation.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks flush. “There’s something about it. This freedom.”
“Yeah.”
“Being in the water is safe. Comfortable. Like it’s holding your body.”
“It is.”
“It’s one of the few places where I stop thinking. Where I sink into the moment and feel.”
“What else?”
Her eyes meet mine. “Besides writing shitty poems?”
“Isn’t that thinking?”
“At first. But after a few minutes, I fall into it. I’m one with my pen. It sounds silly. But it’s magic.”
“When you fall into something?”
“Yeah.” Her cheeks flush. “It does sound stupid. I can see it in your eyes.”
“No.” I shake my head. That’s not it. Not even close. “It’s more… you really think you need to tell me about the merits of turning off your brain?”
“It’s not that, exactly. More that my thoughts aren’t in the way anymore. There’s no voice saying this isn’t good enough. Or watch out for your brother. Or is this really a productive use of your time? I’m there, in the moment.”
“Writing in your journal?”
“Yeah.” Her gaze shifts to the sky. “Someplace like this… it’s beautiful. Not inspiring exactly. But there’s a feeling. I want to hold on to it. So I can capture it. But if I try to do it analytically, it doesn’t work. It has to come from—”
“Instinct?”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“Isn’t that what you want from me?”
“Huh?” Her eyes fill with confusion.
“You asked me to help you drop your inhibitions.”
She nods.
“Or were you just trying to get in my pants?”
Her cheeks flame red. “A little.”
My laugh is easy. “Glad to help.” I swim to her. So I’m close enough to slide my arm around her waist.
It’s under the water. Our secret.
No one around us can see.
If I slip my hand into her bikini bottoms—
That could be our secret too.
Ahem.
“I meant what I said before. You’re high-strung.” I run my fingers over the curve of her waist. “It’s good in some ways. It’s why you have straight As and admission to Berkeley.”
She nods.
“But I’m guessing it’s tiring.”
“Very.”
“When else? Do you let go? Lose yourself?”
“Well… there were moments. Last night.” Her blush deepens. “Is it normally like that?”
“Sex?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s always my goal. I want to be there, in that moment, every ounce of my attention focused on my partner. On the pleasure in her eyes. The part of her lips. The scrape of her nails against my back.”
She hangs on every word.
“I want to watch her shudder. To see the moment where she falls over the edge. To feel her cunt pulsing around me.”
Her eyes widen. “You, uh…”
Shit, I need to ease her into this. “I’m already doing it. Falling into the moment. Tuning into you.”
“So you uh—”
“You don’t like it?”
“I like it.”
“The word?”
“Oh.” Her teeth sink into her lip. “I haven’t heard a lot of people say it.”
“Try it.”
She shakes her head no way.
“Why not?”
“I just…”
“You appreciate the power of words.”
“Oh.” Her brow knits with epiphany. “That is true.”
“It’s a strong word.”
“Yeah.”
“So try it.”
Her blush deepens. “Maybe.”
“If you’re not ready—”
“It’s not that—”
“Listen to it.” I bring my lips to her ear. “I want to taste your cunt.”
Under the water, her nails scrape my skin.
“I want to feel your cunt pulsing around my cock as you come.”
“Fuck.”
“I want to come inside your pretty pink cunt.”
Her response is a groan.
She runs her fingers over my chest. Then down my stomach. Beneath my bellybutton.
Over my swimsuit.
“You’re hard,” she breathes.
“Yeah.”
“You… we… I want to do that. Later.”
Whatever it is she wants to do, the answer’s yes. “Say it.”
She clears her throat.
“Say: baby, I want you to taste my cunt.”
She shakes her head no way.
All right. I’ll let her off easy. This time. “Baby, I want to come on your face.”
She rubs me over my swimsuit. “This instead.”
It’s tempting. But also a terrible idea. “That later.”
Her sigh is a whine. She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. But only for a second.
Her gaze goes right to my chest. “So, uh, we were talking about sex. And how it’s a place where you can let go.”
“That’s the goal.”
“And, uh…”
“Say it, baby.”
Her cheeks flush.
“Say it.”
She sucks in a deep breath. Pushes out a shaky exhale.