“Maybe we should take a break,” Miller suggests, his hand caressing the base of my neck.
“Actually, I need to use the restroom.” I push up, still avoiding their eyes. Papers fly everywhere and crinkle under my feet as I go to Miller’s bedroom.
It’s coming fast, rumbling low in my gut, bile rising in my throat. I make it to the toilet before my knees give out and everything comes up. Hot tears burn my skin as I heave over and over, the expression on that client’s face seared in my brain. Many other days like that replay through my mind, causing me to vomit harder.
“Fuck. Jesus baby.” Miller curls around me, his hands covering where I’m holding my head. “Get it out, I’ve got you.”
Tremors turn into quakes as he soothes me.
The toilet flushes, a cool cloth coats my neck, murmurs fill the room, but all I can do is purge the poison in my heart. There’s no telling how long we all stay in that little bathroom. Even when there’s nothing left in my stomach, there’s no energy to move.
“Please tell me that’s the worst of it.” Austin slides another wet cloth in front of my face. “I’m fucking glad you walked away from that shithole.”
“That’s not the worst. That’s the catalyst. What happened next is the real gem.”
“Give us a minute.” Miller hauls me up easily and clutches me like a baby to his body, placing me on the vanity. I stare into space while he fidgets around me.
“Here,” he places my toothbrush in my hand.
“Ugh, I don’t think putting this in my mouth is smart.”
He takes my finger, swipes the toothpaste off, and brings it to my mouth. I lick it off, take a sip of the water he’s holding, and swish it around before spitting it out.
“Aren’t you disgusted? The woman you love is a heartless, screaming bitch that hurt people.”
“The woman I love was manipulated and deceived. That person no longer exists. The past is the past. Nothing is going to change how much I love you. Told you already, it’s my addiction.”
“I hope you feel that way when you hear the rest.”
Gently, he finishes toweling off my face and positions me back in his arms. There’s no escaping his hold when he sits, draping me across his lap, the papers now piled on his coffee table.
I go into my head, dig down deep, and find that place that I buried. “I was the golden girl, riding the high for another month. My bonus was well over enough to buy my equity. There was another huge case the firm was working on that needed my expertise. I was consulting on the merger side. It was a Telecom group that was skating the edge of FCC regulations. It was enormous. A lot of the prominent in Chicago had a stake in this, on both sides. The FCC would require thorough diligence. Judges, city officials, bankers, the network was large. It was years in the making and Brock was in the center circle.
“My presence was commanded at a dinner at a swanky restaurant downtown to socialize with the players involved. This was my ultimate test, and I knew it. The instant I entered that restaurant, all eyes were on me. Then I came face to face with an ex-judge rumored to have clout in the case. He was too friendly and at one point suggested we go to his room. I declined politely and went to find Brock. He wasn’t surprised and told me to do what had to be done to move the case forward. He told me to get with the program and open my eyes. My body was their weapon of choice, and since he knew I was a good lay, he’d vouched for my skills, like he’d done for the others.”
I was wrong thinking the mood couldn’t get any edgier, because in this moment the air in the room turns deadly. Testosterone mixes with fury so thick, it scalds across my skin.
“It all clicked, and years of black-hearted betrayal reared up. I wasn’t the ‘it’ girl. They had primed me to be the firm whore.”
The word whore is barely out of my mouth when Miller’s whole body engulfs mine, shoving my head into his chest as a thunderous rage explodes in the room. Glass shatters, furniture vibrates, and Runner pounces on top of me, barking like crazy.
I’m trapped, unable to see what’s happening, but hear the vicious threats pinging around the room from my brothers as Miller’s heart thuds against my chest and his breathing is heavy.
“Fucking KILL him!” Austin roars before the sound of drywall splintering fills my ears.
The humiliation, guilt, and shame fade as I snap to my senses and realize I have to get a handle on these men.
I push with all my might, dislodging myself from Miller’s vice hold, and twist to catch the dog before he falls off the sofa. “Stop! Everyone stop. It’s over, I walked away.”