“Why?”
“It’s a safer place.”
“Safer? What’s wrong with right here?”
“I’m not sure I can do this in a room that’s a shrine to your children with Connie.”
The sudden blaze in her eyes pushes me to my limit. “Everywhere in here is a house for my kids.”
“It was a mistake coming here tonight.” She makes a move to run, and my reflexes kick in. I grab her by the waist, spinning her to face me.
“Are you that much of a fucking cunt you can’t even look at my kids, the two people I love more than life?”
She flinches, bowing her head and sucking in deep. Guilt swamps me, and I immediately know I’ve gone too far. “Look, I’ve had a shitty night. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you’re right. I should have expected nothing less than your house to be filled with pictures and memories. Like I said, I shouldn’t have come.”
“Well, you did come here, so why don’t we cut to the fucking chase and tell me why?”
“Please, let me go,” she begs, trying to get loose.
“Tell me.”
“I can’t,” she cries.
“What the fuck are you keeping from me?” I scream. “This shit has got to end. I let it go a long time ago and moved on! I have kids, Darby. That’s a fact. This is their home, and you have no right to come in here and make snide comments—”
“I know that! I have no rights to you at all! I lost them the day I killed our baby!”
I let her go, tripping back until I hit the counter. “What?”
“I killed our baby.” Her body trembles. “I did it!” she shrieks so loud my eardrums ring.
“You had a miscarriage. It fucking sucks, but it’s not your fault. The doctors explained that.”
Darby starts pacing in a circle robotically. “My worry and anxiety were the worst. You tried to help me see reason, but I was pessimistic, always worried and scared. Then I got used to the idea of having a baby at twenty-one years old because you chased every bit of that fear away. Excitement started to bloom, and the best part of it was that I was going to get everything I ever dreamed about. Marrying you and starting our family, I literally had it all. There was still a smidgen of doubt in the back of my mind, but I tried to beat it.”
“Darby, a little doubt doesn’t mean you killed our baby.”
Her eyes lock with mine, and my blood turns to ice, chilling me all the way to my bones. Cold, flat, hard… the usual bright amber dies, and she stares at me with a lifeless expression. She may be staring at me, but she’s not seeing me.
“I had a huge surprise for you and was thinking about bringing Jill in to help me. She’s always been creative. It was the perfect excuse to plan a dinner with your family. I showed up early, hoping to catch her alone. Instead, I overheard Miller and your dad talking. Miller was convinced I got pregnant on purpose to trap you into marrying immediately. He said he knew we were serious, but he didn’t see us going the distance. He couldn’t understand why we’d been together since I was seventeen and avoided getting pregnant, then right after I graduated, I conveniently was knocked up. Jill piped in, agreeing that the timing was suspect. She had strong opinions about how unlikely we’d been careful enough, and starting a marriage based on a surprise pregnancy was doomed. Warren had stayed quiet, but when he spoke, his words are probably what broke me the most. He said it was good my family had money so I wouldn’t come after yours.”
A red haze clouds my vision, and I’m pretty sure I could rip my family to shreds with my bare hands right now. The chill that took over changes into a blistery fire, searing through my veins. A rage like I’ve never experienced brews to the surface, and it’s all I can do not to punch something.
“What happened next?” I grind out harshly.
“Physically or mentally?”
“Both.”
“I quietly slinked out of their house, called you and canceled dinner, told you I was feeling sick. You came to the shed and brought me something to eat and spent the night. Mentally, that smidgen of doubt grew into an avalanche of emotions. I no longer felt like I deserved to get the dream I’d been chasing since I was seventeen when Pierce Kendrick walked up to me at the gym and asked for my number. It was common knowledge that our age difference was the source of gossip, and no one could believe you’d date a girl that just graduated high school.”
“I never gave a shit what people thought.”
“You didn’t, but it followed me for years. And here I was, strapping you down.”