Grabbing my keys from the counter and my purse, I make sure Penny’s good then go out and head for my van. I get in, only to get right back out and head back up to the house to lock the door. Zach found the door unlocked a week ago, and that night, he punished me. Well, punish isn’t the right word for what he did, but being close to coming only to have him pull away time after time was an amazing and annoying way to get his point across, and since then, I haven’t left the door unlocked, so in the end, his plan worked.
Getting back in the van, I start it up and head first for the bank to make a few deposits, and then run the rest of my errands before heading for the store. Once I’m there, I grab a cart on the way in and start making my way down each aisle, picking up stuff along the way. Looking at the feminine products, I freeze in place. Doing the math in my head, I feel my pulse speed up. I had birth control placed in my arm a little over two years ago. My periods have always been a little wonky since then, but I’ve never been as late as I am right now.
“No…” I breathe.
“Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” I hear from behind me, and I spin around, coming face-to-face with Tina, and feel the color drain from my face. “Didn’t take you long to figure out how to trap him, did it?” she asks, making me flinch, and nausea turns my stomach. Without saying a word to her, I pull my purse from the basket, leave the groceries in the cart behind, and then move down the aisle as fast as I can.
There is only one way to find out for sure if I’m pregnant, and in order to do that, I will need to take a test, but there is no way I’m buying one right now. Heading out of the store, I move straight for my car, get in, start it up, and head for home. I know the kids will be home soon from school, and I won’t have a second to myself once they arrive. Pulling up in front of the house, I put my van in park, pick up my cell phone from the cup holder, and put it to my ear.
“Hey, ShellaBella,” Joe answers, and I lean my forehead against the steering wheel. I don’t know when she started calling me that, but I’ve loved it since the first time she said it, because it’s what my mom used to singsong to me every time I walked into the house after school. “You there, sweetie?”
“I’m here,” I choke out, then hear rustling coming from her side of the phone.
“Are you okay?”
“Nope, I don’t think I’m okay. I think I’m pregnant,” I blurt, wondering if I should have taken a moment to get myself together before calling her.
“What?” she whispers, then more rustling comes from her side.
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“Oh my.”
“I know,” I agree, nodding, not that she can see it.
“What do you need me to do?” she asks, and I let my eyes slide closed. She said she would be here for me, and she has been every single time I’ve called her. I should probably find a way to pay her back for being so awesome. “Never mind. I’ll stop at the store, grab a test, and be on my way in five. Keep it together, sweetie. It’s going to be just fine. You’ll see.”
“Thank you, Joe.”
“Anything, sweetie, you know that.” She hangs up, and I pick up my purse from the seat next to me and head into the house, where I pace until I hear her car pull up outside. Before she’s even out of the car, I open the front door and step down to the porch that Zach and the boys painted a soft yellow last weekend. At first, I was unsure about the color and changing what the house looked like from the outside, but every time I pull up to the house, I love it a little more. The color adds something special and was our first family project.
“Thank you for coming.” I hug Joe as soon as she makes it the top of the stairs, feeling her arms wrap around my back.
“Everything is going to be okay. Try to calm down.” She hugs me tighter, and I breathe in and out, trying to get myself to calm down, something that seems impossible to do right now.
Pulling back, she searches my face, then mutters, “Let’s go inside. It’s cold out here.”
“Right.” I move back into the house, and she follows me then stops just inside the front door. “Oh my, what in the world is going on?”
“Zach and the kids are moving in,” I remind her, looking around at the boxes stacked here and there, paint blocks painted on the walls from Aubrey and me trying to decide what colors will go where. The doorbell in pieces on a mat in the living room since Zach is fixing it and a puzzle started on the coffee table.
“I thought they moved in last month?”
“They did, but we’ve been painting, sorting through everything, trying to get rid of doubles of stuff we don’t need, and fixing things up as we go.
“Sheesh, it looks like a bomb exploded. When this drama is over, I’ll come help you sort this mess out,” she mutters, resting her hands on her hips, and my eyes zero in on the brown bag in her hand.
“Is that the test?” I question, as my pulse ramps up speed.
“Yep.” She holds it out toward me, and part of me wants to snatch it from her grasp, while another part of me is way too scared to find out the truth. “You know everything is going to be okay. You and Zach are solid. You’ve already built a family with him. If this test comes up positive, you will just be adding another member to the family you’ve already got. Neither of you are kids anymore. You’ve both got careers and share a home. You have nothing to worry about.”
“I’ve been telling myself that. I really have, but what if he doesn’t want more kids? What if he’s upset about this?”
“Do you know your man at all?” she asks gently, raising a brow, and I pull in a breath through my nose.
“This is one thing we haven’t talked about. We never discussed having more kids. I mean, we’re not old, but our kids are older. How will they feel about this?”
“I don’t know, sweetie, but I do know you guys will figure it all out as a family. You will find a way to make it work. And I know Zach will make sure you’re happy.”
She’s right. Zach will make sure I’m happy. He always makes sure the kids and I are happy, that we all feel safe and loved.
“You’re right,” I agree, taking the bag from her as she holds it closer to me.
“Go on, I’ll wait out here.” She nods toward the hall and I give in and head for the bedroom.
Sitting on the toilet, I hear the door in the bedroom open and assume it’s Joe, but then let out a squeak when Zach opens the bathroom door and steps in, closing it behind him.
“What are you doing here?” I panic, moving to stand in front of the sink, where the test I took is sitting, so I can block it from his sight.
“Tina called me.”
Fuck!
“Oh yeah? What’s going on? Is she okay?” I try to play it off, but I know from the look on his face she told him what she saw in the store.
“Baby,” he says softly, and I feel my bottom lip start to tremble.
“I don’t even know if it’s positive.” I close my eyes and feel him place his hand against my cheek.
“You took a test?”