The big smile that spread across my grandmother’s face was all I needed to see to know she already approved.
“Spite-garden, I like that. Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?” she asked as we sat down on the couch. “Mine has a little brandy in it,” she added in a low voice. “But don’t tell Mary-Ellen, she doesn’t approve. It can be our little secr—and that is why I do not approve of day drinking, children,” she cut off abruptly, waggling her finger at us, her eyes dancing, making Wasp and I turn to see Mary-Ellen making her way in with a tea set.
Wasp had to press her lips together to keep from laughing as Mary-Ellen turned and my grandmother produced a flask, slipping a little more into her cup, then quickly tucking it away.
“I made some of those bergamot madeleines you are so fond of, if you’d like some,” Mary-Ellen offered. Never having had a mother to do the mothering type things like cooking and baking for me, I appreciated that Mary-Ellen had always treated me like one of her many children when I was around.
“I hope you made more than last time,” I told her, shaking my head.
“Yes, how could I have been so stingy? Only making you three dozen,” Mary-Ellen shot back, smiling. “I will bring some in.”
With her departure, Wasp settled her teacup and saucer on her thigh, looking as prim as a lady at a garden party.
“So,” my grandmother started, making our gazes shoot in her direction. “Wasp,” she said, making Wasp stiffen, and I could practically hear her thoughts. We didn’t tell her my nickname. “Tell me, when, exactly, did it stop being a job, and turn into something real?”
Wasp’s eyes were round, her lips parted.
“Grandmother, what are—” I started, getting cut off.
“The plan truly was just to teach him a lesson, my dear. But I must admit, I’m not all-together put off by this outcome either.”
And right then, a moment later than Wasp realized what was going on, I did as well.
My grandmother.
That had been Wasp’s client.
That was who bankrolled her trip to Paris, who had sicced her on unsuspecting me.
“Oh my God,” Wasp hissed, putting her teacup back down on the tray. “Oh my God,” she said again.
“You hired Wasp?” I asked, recovering before Wasp, who was staring at my grandmother like she’d grown another head and it was cursing her out in a different language.
“I did, my dear, I did. I’m afraid I have been too lenient with you,” she said, looking at me. “Yes, you were practically a grown man when I got you out of that hellhole, but it was my place to impart some wisdom in you. While I may have accomplished in some ways, I failed you terribly in others. Namely, when it came to relationships. I stood by and let you believe the disposable way you treated women was acceptable. It is not. It never was. When this lovely young woman’s name was tossed around at a charity event I had gone to earlier this year, it got me thinking. I had an opportunity to teach you a lesson.”
“You wanted her to break my heart,” I clarified. Sure, my grandmother could be old school at times, believing a swift kick in the ass did more in a moment than thinking and talking could in a decade, but she’d never been someone who went behind your back to accomplish something. She’d always been more in-your-face about things she was passionate about.
“I did,” she agreed, nodding. “I could talk until I was blue in the face about how to treat women, about how to approach relationships. But I know you, my dear, it would have gone in one ear and out the other. I figured I had to get inventive with my methods. And, luckily, this young lady provides a much needed service to society.”
“Provided,” I clarified. “She’s retiring.”
“I have an offer to be a high-priced call-girl,” Wasp volunteered, getting a smile from my grandmother.
“Yes, well, it is always smart to have a back-up career, should you need it. I never imagined this pairing, but the more time I have to think about it, the more I like it,” she concluded, looking between us. “I have a feeling this woman isn’t going to let you get away with anything.”
“She thinks I am careless with my money.”
“A toddler would know you are careless with your money,” Wasp said, rolling her eyes. “He rented out an entire park in Bali when we were there.”
“As ostentatious as that might have been, I have to admit, I am not disappointed that you seem prone to grand romantic gestures, my dear,” she said, giving me a soft smile. “Every woman deserves a man who will spoil her.”
“Speaking of men who could spoil you,” Wasp piped in, jerking her chin out the back window. “Please tell me you’re banging the pool boy.”