I comforted myself with that idea as I dressed, wrapped up my present, hauled the giant thing back into my car, and made my way across town to Kai and Jules’ place.
I was early–a trait I wasn’t typically known for–but the driveway was already loaded down with familiar cars.
Squeals and laughter met me as I climbed out of my car, seeing Gunner watching me with a raised brow as I struggled to get the giant Hummer out of my backseat.
“You could help,” I rumbled over at him when I dropped it for the second time.
“I could,” he agreed, nodding, not moving as I struggled to get the thing up the driveway toward where a wheelbarrow was propped up against a shed.
“For some reason, I am pretty sure that whatever that is, it was not on my list,” Jules said as we moved into the backyard, but she was smiling.
“Not at all. But I figured this is better than a Golden Retriever.”
“As much as I want one, yeah, it’s not a good time. I bet that thing screams and flashes and spits glitter.”
“Well, damn, I didn’t know there was one that could spit glitter…”
“Looking for someone?” Jules asked, making me realize my eyes had been scanning the space. I hadn’t seen her car when I pulled up, but she could walk up at any minute.
“The birthday girl,” I lied since I knew exactly where Em was–over by the gift table arranging everything in the order in which she was going to open it. Her mother’s daughter, through and through.
“She’s the calmest birthday girl in the world.”
“Once more of her friends get here, it will be a different story.”
“Don’t jinx it. The calm is nice. Kai got a giant piñata. Calm would be preferable when we’re blindfolding them and putting weapons in their hands…”
“Oh, what’s childhood without a few minor head injuries?” I shot back, watching as she shook her head at me.
“Your inability to do paperwork suddenly makes so much more sense now…” she quipped before half-shrieking and running off toward the sound of Benji sobbing.
“She shouldn’t have gasped.”
“What?”
“When he fell,” Miller explained. “Jules shouldn’t have gasped. He was looking at her for her reaction.”
If you just casually met Miller on the street, you would never guess that the woman had an uncanny knack for babies. Especially given that she had none of her own, none in her immediate family. And that she wasn’t exactly the mothering sort of friend either. In fact, she was often the bad influence.
But babies loved her.
And she had a way with them.
“You gonna have a litter of them?” I asked, watching as she shot wide eyes at me.
“Me? With babies? Lincoln, today I had to move coffee filters into the bathroom because I forgot to buy toilet paper. No one wants me to have children. Besides, you typically need a man for that.”
“You could have any man you want, Mills.”
“The problem is, I don’t want them.”
“And the ones you do want tend to be on trial for murder or too busy running their black markets to have time for you…”
“What can I say? I have a type,” she said with a smile as she rammed her shoulder into mine. “What about you? Got any women on the horizon? Some girl getting evicted who needs a place to crash to save for first, last, and security?”
“Nah. I’ve been thinking that maybe I need to stop and give each woman some thought before diving in.”
“What? Rational thinking? From you? Regarding relationships? Has anyone checked the news? Is hell freezing over as we speak?” she asked, brows furrowing. “What brought about the sudden change?”
The answer to that was simple.
Gemma brought about the change.
Having her in my house was different than it was with my exes. Maybe because sex wasn’t a factor, it gave us the time to explore other things. Life things. Wants and needs and dreams for the future. Instead of placeholder conversations to fill the gaps between sex sessions.
Not that I didn’t want the sex sessions.
For fuck’s sake, sometimes I would sit there while she was making dinner, and my mind would wander to moving in behind her, bending her forward, taking her from behind.
But those thoughts, yeah, they couldn’t exist. I’d been going for more runs to clear my head. Even with her cooking dinner most nights, I was fucking losing weight.
Having her around was giving me some insight into what I wanted. Not just any woman in my home, in my bed. But the right one. One I could have conversations with, laugh with, get occasionally vulnerable with, someone who had staying power.
“Had more time to think lately. And I think I want something lasting for a change. To get that, I need to maybe slow down, take the time, get to know someone better before I let them in my home.”