Until Jax (Until Him 1)

“He’s dead, baby. Go find Hope.”

Swallowing, I look around, feeling like I’m outside of my body.

“Ellie, be strong for just a little longer and go get our baby girl.”

Dropping the drawer still clutched in my hand, I nod, and his eyes search my face for a brief moment before his body turns away from me as he goes over to Jules. He bends over her, pressing his fingers to her neck and a hand to her chest, where red has soaked through her shirt. Stumbling down the hall into the kitchen, I see Pancake hiding in the kitchen under the counter, so I pick her up and hold her to my chest as I make my way through the open backdoor just as three cop cars pull into the driveway, their sirens and lights blaring.

Looking around frantically for Hope, I run past the police cars, ignoring them telling me to stop, and then I see Hope next door, standing in the yard with an old woman and man.

“Hope!” I scream, and her head turns toward me.

“Mama!” she cries, running to me as I drop to my knees, letting Pancake fall from my grasp to the grass as Hope hits my chest hard, rocking me backwards.

“Oh, God, Angel! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?” I ask, pushing her away so I can check her over.

“Ma’am, who’s in the house?” an officer asks, crouching down next to Hope and me.

“Jax. His mom was shot; she needs an ambulance,” I say, and he yells over his shoulder at someone.

“Are the assailants still inside?” he inquires.

“They’re both dead,” I tell him, watching his face soften before he looks away and gives instructions to the men behind him. He then picks Pancake up from the ground and nods toward one of the cars.

“Come with me and get cleaned up then you can wait in the cruiser while we get everything worked out,” he says gently.

Helping me stand with Hope in my arms, he leads me over to one of the cruisers and gives me some wipes that smell like alcohol. It burns as I wipe down my face and hands. Then he opens the backdoor, assisting me inside before dropping Pancake onto the seat next to us and shutting the door.

“Where’s Chocolate Chip?” Hope sobs, gathering Pancake between us.

“I don’t know, Angel,” I murmur, holding her against me, watching the front door of the house as policemen and paramedics go inside. Then I see Jax walk out the front door, holding Chip in his hands as he scans the yard. I bang on the glass of the door and his eyes come to me, and he jumps down the steps and runs toward us.

As soon as he reaches the car, he swings the door open and gathers Hope and me in his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry…so fucking sorry,” he repeats over and over, while he rocks us against him.

“It’s okay. We’re all okay,” I cry, leaning back to see his eyes. “We’re okay,” I echo as his eyes close and his forehead touches mine.

“She’s dead,” he whispers, squeezing us tightly, and my heart breaks.

*

“Do you need anything else?” Lilly asks, standing in the open doorway of Jax’s old room with Cash’s arm around her waist.

Placing Hope on the bed, I tuck her in under the covers and press a kiss to the top of her head. After answering a few questions from the police and getting things settled, I knew there was no way I would be able to stay at the house. Not tonight, and probably not for a long time. I couldn’t even force myself to go into the house to get the clothes and stuff we would need to hold us over for a few days, and I don’t know what Jax packed.

“We’re okay, Mom,” Jax tells her, wrapping his arms around her, and his dad gives them another hug, one of the many he’s given them since they found out what happened. I think Lilly and Cash are still in shock. No one besides me knew Jax had recently been in contact with Jules, and I don’t believe anyone would have guessed she would’ve given her life for his, knowing their past history.

“Thanks again for letting us stay here,” I say quietly, taking a seat on the bed and rubbing my eyes.

“We’re family,” she says, and my eyes fill with tears.

“Are you sure you all want to sleep in here?” Cash asks.

“I need my girls close,” Jax explains quietly, moving his gaze to the bed, where Hope is a sleep, then to me.

“Whatever you need, bud,” Cash says, and I hear the rawness in his voice, which only serves to make the pain in my chest expand. “Get some sleep and we’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night,” I say, getting off the bed, hugging Cash then Lilly, and watching Jax do the same before closing the door.

“Are you tired, baby?” he asks as I go to the suitcase in the corner of the room and grab one of his shirts.

“Yes, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep,” I tell him as I take off my clothes I put on after the shower I took when we got here and put on his shirt.

“I fucked up today.”

“You didn’t,” I whisper, sitting on the side of the bed, watching as he trades his jeans for a pair of sweats.

“I did, Ellie,” he argues quietly, coming to stand in front of me, running his hand over the bruises on my throat.

“He was crazy, Jax, and now that he’s gone, all the women he’s held hostage are free from him. They have a chance to start over; their children have a chance at a normal life,” I tell him, feeling sorrow wash through me for those women and their children and what they have yet to face.

After the medical examiner ran the prints of the dead men, they found out the main guy’s name was Tobias Benedict. He was the son of a prostitute who lived in the mountains of Tennessee on a six hundred acre plot of land, which he had turned into a compound of sorts. He had reportedly said he spoke to God and that God told him it was his duty to bring forth pure children into the world, and his offspring would lead in the war against evil at the end of times.