“Baby.” I tuck her head under my chin and hold on to her as tightly as I can, wishing I could absorb her pain, and go back in time and change things for her.
“I never knew I was adopted until I got diagnosed with kidney disease. That was when I found out about Kelly and my birth mom.”
“What?” I hiss in disbelief, and her head shakes while her fingers dig into my skin. “I thought you knew you were adopted.”
“I didn’t. If I hadn’t gotten sick, I doubt I would know now. My parents freaked when I was diagnosed. They were worried I’d need a transplant and have a hard time finding a match, so they told me everything. Until then, I had no idea. I grew up being told I looked like my mom and dad. I thought they were my birth parents.”
“Christ.” My eyes close and my arms spasm around her.
“I was so mad at them for a long time for lying and never telling me the truth. I felt like my whole life was a lie. I couldn’t understand how they could keep something like that from me.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s not okay they didn’t tell you.”
“I get it now. I know now that they were trying to protect themselves and me from getting hurt, but it still sucked finding out the way I did. And it was worse that Kelly thought I was trying to use her.”
“She didn’t think that.”
“She did. She hated me because of it, because I didn’t contact her until I found out I was sick.”
“She didn’t hate you. She was mad at the world for the hand she was dealt, but she also didn’t do anything to change that or make it better. She could have changed her path, but she didn’t want to.”
“Our mom—”
“Your birth mom is a cunt,” I cut her off with a squeeze. “But Kelly wasn’t a child. She was an adult making her own decisions. Just because you grow up one way doesn’t mean you can’t make a better life for yourself. Every single person has the ability to change the course of their life, no matter who they are, how they grew up, or what they’ve done in their past.”
“You’re right,” she whispers, and I roll her to her back and look down at her.
“Are we okay now?” I question, and her eyes soften and her hands slide up my chest to my shoulders.
“We’re okay,” she says quietly, and I drop my forehead to hers, resting it there.
“All I want is to protect you.” I move my thumb and cover her lips when it looks like she’s going to talk. “I know that’s impossible in this situation. This isn’t something or someone I can protect you from. But I can do my best to take care of you, so let me do that. Even if it’s just making sure you eat or sleep, I need to know I’m doing my job.” I run the back of my fingers down her cheek and neck.
“Okay.” She smiles softly, sliding her hand up my neck and jaw and curving her fingers around the side of my head. “In that case, I’m hungry.”
“What do you want to eat?” I ask, and she tips her head to the side before she grins.
“A salmon taco salad sounds good. Are you in the mood for an obnoxiously large burrito?”
“No, but I’m sure I can find something else to order.” I kiss her nose and pull her out of bed then take her to the shower.
Later, I put her in the car and take her out to dinner. While we’re there, I send a text to my sister, Nalia, telling her I love her and support her in her decision to get to know our birth mom even if I still don’t understand her reasoning.
Chapter 16
Kim
RINGING THE BELL and hearing Elizabeth yell, “Come in,” I pull in a breath as I turn the knob and open the door. I’m nervous. I hate letting people down, and I feel like me moving out of my place and not being around is definitely letting Elizabeth and Jelikai down.
Five days ago, Sage and I got back from Florida, and yesterday, he left for Alabama for the week with Jax for some job. I hate that he had to leave so soon after we got home, but with him gone, I know I can take care of a few things I’ve been putting off, like telling Elizabeth I’m moving out, closing on the shop, and getting things worked out with Ellie there.
“Why did you ring the bell?” Elizabeth asks, looking down at me from the upstairs platform as I shut the door.
“Sorry, I didn’t think.”
“I’m doing laundry. Feel like keeping me company?” She smiles, tipping her head to the side.