Play On (Play On 1)

I wasn’t sure it was a bad thing that her dad was getting his head out of his ass and making an effort to see his kid, but I understood where Aidan was coming from. It was only a year ago that she’d lost her mom. “Maybe you guys should talk about it.”

“Aye, maybe.”

Silence fell over the car and I could tell he was lost in his thoughts about it. Wanting to leave him to muse, I watched traffic. And then I realized we were driving out of the city center. “So … where are we eating?”

“There’s a pub right on the promenade at Portobello Beach. It’s a nice day. I thought we should enjoy it while it’s here.”

That was something people said a lot around here. Scottish summers were mercurial beasts, with more rain than anything else. So when the sun came out, we appreciated and made the most of it.

“Sounds good.”

With Jim, I’d been comfortable with him from the start. Silence fell between us and I’d never felt the need to fill it. Similarly, with Aidan, the silence between us didn’t bother me. But the atmosphere between us wasn’t comfortable. I was too aware of his every movement, watching him out of the corner of my eye as he drove us east to Portobello.

“Sylvie cares about you,” Aidan said suddenly.

Warmth filled me at the thought. “I care about her. I won’t hurt her, Aidan.”

He glanced at me, his expression sincere. “I know that now, Nora.”

Relief moved through me. “Thank you.”

“I just want her to be okay.”

“It would be expected if she wasn’t,” I told him. “She lost her mom. You can protect her from everything, but you can’t protect her from that loss, and thinking that you can is only going to make you feel like you’ve failed somehow. And you’re not failing.”

He was quiet so long, I thought maybe my presumption had pissed him off. But he said, “How did you get so wise?”

When it comes to loss, I know what I’m talking about. I didn’t say it out loud. “Born that way, I guess.”

Not too long later, Aidan parked on a street facing the water. The sun glinted off the waves in the distance and I could see the promenade was busy with people eating lunch, walking their dogs, or just hanging out. The salty sea air immediately put me and everyone else in a good mood. It was a little past one o’clock so people were on lunch breaks, but with how busy the beach was, you’d think it was a weekend day.

“Do you think we’ll get a table?” I said. He insisted on opening my door and taking my hand to help me down.

Warm, calloused skin slid over mine and I drew in a breath at the sparks of electricity that danced up my arm. My eyes flew to his. Our eyes locked.

Did he feel it too?

As if I’d asked the question aloud, he squeezed my hand and closed the door once I was out of the car. To my shock, he kept holding my hand, leading me down the street toward the promenade.

“I called ahead,” he said. “I know a guy who works at the pub.”

I hurried to match his long strides, my heart banging hard inside my chest as I stared up at him. Feeling my gaze, he looked down and gave me a quizzical smile.

“What is it, Pixie?”

I decided to be honest. “You’re holding my hand.”

His smile transformed into that sexy one that cut me off at the knees every single time. “So I am.”

He didn’t let go.

I bit my lip to stop the girlish giggle that wanted to escape. “Is there a reason for that?”

“So you don’t fly off to Neverland, of course.” He winked.

I laughed. “Cute. Very cute.”

Aidan stopped to push open the door to the pub, his beautiful eyes filled with laughter.

I let him lead me inside. There was an area, a few steps up from the bar on our right, with tables at bay windows overlooking the water. The place was packed, no tables free at all.

“Uh …” A young woman with bright blue eyes and short, white-blond hair glanced at the seating and then back at us. “It’s about a thirty-minute wait right now.”

“Where’s Giggsy?” Aidan asked.

“Right here, mate.” We turned to watch a guy walking down a passageway by the bar. When he reached us, his eyes flicked to Aidan’s hand in mine and he shook his head laughing. “They get younger every time.”

“Fuck off, Giggsy.”

“Nice. And here I’ve been enduring bleeding ears from these buggers,” he thumbed behind him at the bar staff, “to reserve you a table last minute on the promenade.” Without saying another word, he strolled away and Aidan followed. He led us up the platform to a set of French doors that opened out onto the promenade, and to my delight, to one of only four tables set out there, looking over the water.

A sweet breeze blew up off the North Sea offering a light relief from the rare hot September sun. Gulls cried out as they flew high in the sky above us.

“There you go.” Giggsy gestured to our table and Aidan held out a chair for me. “What a gentleman.” His friend clapped him on the shoulder. Aidan rolled his eyes and Giggsy mock frowned at me. “Please tell me you’re legal.”

While I was mortified by the idea that I looked that young next to him, Aidan sighed heavily. “Have you got a death wish?”

“I can’t help myself. They get hotter and younger while mine get older and nag a lot. How do you do it?”

My irritation with this man grew by the second, not only because he kept referring to Aidan’s love interests like they were products on a conveyer belt, but because he was talking about me without even looking at me. Like I didn’t matter. Sexist … Grrr!

Giggsy grinned down at me. “Can I get you a drink, sweetheart?”

“Water, please. Although if I wanted to, I could have a beer. For nearly five years.”

“American?” He turned to Aidan again. “Very nice. A different state from the last one, I imagine. Are you collecting states now? You’re my hero, mate.”

“Oi!” I snapped my fingers, drawing his attention back to me. “I’m not Aidan’s latest piece, so stop categorizing me as one, and stop talking about me like it doesn’t matter I can hear you. It’s disrespectful. Didn’t your momma teach you manners?”

I have no idea where the angry outburst came from. Maybe I wanted Aidan to know I wasn’t some bimbo to decorate his arm, in case that’s where his own thoughts were going.

Giggsy looked a little shell-shocked. He murmured to Aidan he’d get his usual and be back to take our order. I looked determinedly out at the water, unable to meet Aidan’s eyes.

“I’m sorry about Giggsy.”

I watched a couple walk hand in hand down the beach, each carrying their shoes in their free hands. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Nora, look at me.”

I did so reluctantly.

He appeared concerned. “I didn’t ask you out to lunch as a lead-up to sex. You’re definitely not my latest piece. I wanted to spend some time with you.”

Confused, I could only stare at him, hoping somehow to magically figure him out. If he didn’t want me to be a fuck buddy, but he wanted to hold hands and spend time together … well … shit. What did that mean?

Then something occurred to me.

And I didn’t know how I could’ve been so blind.

Maybe … maybe Aidan was lonely. “How are you?” I suddenly blurted. “We’ve talked a little about Sylvie and how she is after her mom passed, but we haven’t talked about you. Are you okay, Aidan?”

I could tell he was surprised by the question. He stared at me, almost as if he couldn’t believe I was real. I didn’t understand his reaction but I couldn’t ask about it because Giggsy came back with our drinks and to take our order.

It was too hot for a heavy lunch so I ordered light, as did Aidan, and I waited after Giggsy left to see if he would answer me.

Finally, he did. “You want the truth, Nora? Something I’ve never told anybody? I resented it. Nicky, my sister, being sick. Dying. Expecting me to take care of Sylvie. I’m a selfish bastard who actually resented her for it. I had no fucking clue what was ahead of all of us or what she’d go through in the end. I couldn’t see any of that for my own selfish inability to see past my fucking career.”