The Last Anniversary

Holy Moly.

‘Sophie! This is Audrey! Audrey, this is Sophie, who I told you about! Sophie, this is Audrey, my girlfriend, Audrey.’ Veronika looks triumphant and expectant, her cheeks flushed.

‘It’s nice to meet you, Audrey,’ says Sophie. HOLY…MOLY!

‘My girlfriend, Audrey,’ repeats Veronika.

Sophie waves her wand graciously. She is her mother’s daughter; she can handle an unexpected change in sexual orientation no problem at all. ‘Can I offer you both some fairy floss?’

‘Mmmmm, fairy floss! Yes please,’ says Audrey.

‘Did you hear what I said?’ Veronika swings Audrey’s hand.

‘Audrey is my girlfriend. My lover.’

‘I think she gets it, Veronika,’ says Audrey.

‘I get it, Veronika.’ Sophie smiles at Audrey and hands her an extra-large stick of floss.

‘It turns out that I am Gay,’ announces Veronika impressively.

‘Yes, you are, sweetie.’ Audrey throws an arm around Veronika and vigorously pats her arm. ‘Yes, you are.’

Veronika looks aggrieved. ‘Well, you don’t seem very surprised, Sophie. I was! Although, at the same time, I wasn’t. It was like I knew it but didn’t know it, if you know what I mean. I blame my repressive middle-class upbringing, obviously.’

‘I’m really happy for you,’ says Sophie honestly. In fact, this isn’t actually all that unexpected, now she thinks about it. She wonders why she never considered the possibility before.

‘I’m not just experimenting, if that’s what you’re thinking,’ says Veronika. ‘You’re probably thinking I’m bisexual. Is that what you’re thinking, that I’m bisexual?’

‘Ah–no?’

‘No! I’m not at all! Bisexuals are like agnostics, trying to have it both ways. My sexuality isn’t in question. I have fully embraced my homosexuality.’

Sophie realises that her reaction isn’t up to scratch. She understands it’s annoying when people don’t gasp for long enough over an unexpected event in your life. You’re still shaking your head, ‘I can’t believe this has happened to me!’ while they’ve already fully accepted it and moved on to something surprising in their own life: ‘Gosh, your car was stolen, what a bummer, did I tell you the doctor thinks I might have dislocated my shoulder from lifting that box? I couldn’t believe it!’

So she shakes her head in wonder and says, ‘Well, this is quite a bombshell. I’m in shock. I’m dumbfounded.’

Veronika looks slightly mollified. ‘Well, but, why aren’t you blushing? I was sure you’d blush! I told Audrey not to be surprised and that your blush was a disorder and it didn’t mean you were prejudiced against the g*y community. I mean, obviously we have to deal with a lot of discrimination, just in everyday life. We’re used to that. Comes with the territory.’ Veronika looks noble. ‘I’ve joined the Glass Bay Gay Rights Association, obviously.’

‘Obviously,’ murmurs Audrey into her fairy floss.

‘Gay rights have got a long way to go. A long way to go. I mean–it’s ridiculous! We can’t even legally get married in our own country!’

‘Steady on, girl.’ Audrey lifts a comical eyebrow.

‘Oh!’ Veronika looks suddenly, endearingly embarrassed, even shy. ‘Not that we’re talking about marriage at this early–um–stage of our relationship. Obviously. I mean, you know, not yet.’

Why don’t you get us a few glasses of that mulled wine I can smell in the air?’ suggests Audrey. ‘Sophie could probably do with a drink. I don’t know why she has to work when you’re not doing anything!’

‘Because she’s crazy!’ says Veronika, recovering. ‘I stopped helping out with the Anniversary Night years ago. I don’t actually approve of celebrating murder. I’ll go check out the mulled wine. Last year it was much too sweet.’

‘Oh, Veronika,’ says Sophie, remembering. ‘The Kook is here, looking for you! The one who responded to your ad about Alice and Jack. He’s walking around carrying some sort of vase, wearing a yellow T-shirt.’

Veronika doesn’t look especially interested. ‘I’m sure he’ll find me. I might actually have to put the Munro Mystery book on hold for a while. I’ve got a lot of other projects I’m more interested in. I’m very busy, you know.’ She walks briskly off, looking fierce and joyful. Sophie and Audrey watch her go and then look back at each other.

‘I’ve never seen her so happy,’ says Sophie. ‘You must be good for her.’

Audrey tears off a piece of fairy floss and rubs it thoughtfully between her fingers into a sticky pink ball. ‘You do know she was in love with you?’

‘I beg your pardon?’ says Sophie, and now the blush does come, engulfing her face. Because it makes perfect sense. That’s why Veronika was always so possessive. If a male friend had behaved like that Sophie would have guessed it immediately and been tender and careful with him. She feels guilty and silly and somehow horribly hetero, shallow and suburban, as if she should have known and her own parochial prejudices didn’t let her see it, as if she’d subconsciously encouraged and at the same time repelled Veronika’s affections.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you,’ says Audrey. ‘I could just tell the way she talked about you so much that she was a bit mixed up about you. I think she’s over you now, anyway. I sure hope she is.’

‘Oh, I’m sure she is!’ Sophie knows her face is incandescent. She watches Audrey trying not to stare as the blush takes hold. It’s a bad one. Blotches of burning colour sting her neck like an attack of hives.

‘It’s OK!’ Audrey seems to have developed a sudden intense interest in the band’s performance. ‘I should never have said anything. I was just a bit jealous, I think. It’s a failing of mine, and I really like Veronika. She’s gorgeous. Like a porcupine. Spiky but cuddly. I just feel like, maybe this time I’ve finally got it right. Anyway, I can see why she likes you.’

‘Thank you.’ Sophie’s composure returns. She saves up ‘spiky but cuddly’ for Callum and Grace. ‘I can see why she likes you too.’