Saving Lawson (Loving Lawson 2)

“Three in the morning,” she suddenly stated, calmly.

I looked at her sideways, confused as shit. “What?”

“It’s three in the morning.”

“So what?”

“Matt called me. He said he was looking for you.”

“Why would he call you?”

She shrugged. “For some reason he thought you were fucking me or something. Told me to tell him the truth, that if you’re cheating on Allie, he needed to know.”

I stepped back from her like I’d been zapped. Why the hell would Matt want to know where I was?

“You’re not fucking me,” she mused out loud, smiling a little, “but judging by your clothes and the scratches on your face, I’d say you’re fucking somebody. I knew your little fluff wasn’t good in bed. Knew you’d start looking for more, and it seems you’ve got a much rougher taste than what I remember. You know I’m here, right?”

“I know you’re desperate,” I retorted, pressing the elevator button yet again. “I also know you need to clean yourself up, Trudy, and mind your own fucking business.”

She giggled as I stepped inside, ridding myself of the stench of her. I heard her high pitched sounds even long after the elevator doors closed and took me up. All the while I wondered about Matt. Why in the hell was he getting involved in my business? First Marko, and now this.

My skull was pounding by the time I stepped into the apartment. It was like walking through a fog; my entire vision was cloudy. The numbness I needed was wearing off. After Ricardo, I thought I was well capable of handling death, but this time it felt all wrong. I didn’t know what was right anymore. I didn’t know if I should hate myself, feel guilty, or accept that Marko had made the right decision.

Gone was my confidence. I was lost and confused. I’d intended on cleaning out cash houses but never killing people in the process! I’d taken a dark turn for the worse, and I didn’t want to keep walking down this path. I was trapped. I wanted out of the plan, wanted out of this town, wanted away from all the bad it stood for.

And then this shit with Matt…

I stepped into the dark kitchen when hands suddenly grabbed at me and a little force knocked me back.

“Where have you been?!” yelled Allie, her voice bordering on hysterical. Those hands then gripped my shirt, pulling me to her. In the dark, I looked down at her tear streaked face, regarding me like I’d killed her.

“Hey,” I started cautiously, “I told you –”

“Where were you?!” she demanded. Her body shook as she took a large step back, letting go of me. She was glaring now, and shaking like I’d never seen before in her night gown. “I called you for hours, Heath! For hours! Do you know how scared I was?”

“I was at a fight –”

“You didn’t have a fight tonight! I called Matt, and he told me everything. And then I spent the rest of the night calling you over and over again!”

Shit. Fucking shit.

That’s why Matt was onto me.

I hadn’t charged my phone today. It died early in the evening, and I’d told myself to charge it before the morning.

I swallowed hard. It took everything in me to put on my poker face despite having no good enough excuse to offer her. I’d been caught, but she was looking at me with suspicion, and I was worried she was thinking I’d been caught doing something completely different.

“I thought I had a fight,” I told her quickly, not missing a beat. I wasn’t even thinking, literally making it up on the spot. “When I found out I didn’t, I took Marko to the pub. He had a lot to drink and I made sure he got home okay.”

She didn’t respond for a moment. Her eyes went about my face and then travelled down my body. I was filthy. Her mouth parted at the state of me, eyeing the door before looking back at me.

“Marko?” she repeated, brows raised.

“Yeah, and don’t hate me for it. He’s not what you think.”

“Why? Because he’ll back up the bullshit you’re telling me right now? That he got drunk at the bar and you looked after him all night?”

I stuck to it. “That’s what happened. My phone died so I didn’t get your calls. I swear, if I had, I would have picked them up and…” My voice trailed off as her eyes hardened. She stared at me for the longest time and for once I couldn’t read a single feature on her face.

“You’re lying to me,” she finally whispered in disbelief. She’d gone completely still when the words left her lips, as if she was suddenly coming to terms with them.

“Allie –”

“If you don’t want to tell me what you were up to, then don’t make up lies about Marko getting drunk. That asshole doesn’t drink! I’ve heard him say it too many times to count! He wouldn’t be at the bar!” Her face reddened with anger as she took a step forward and pointed at me. “And I find it unbelievable that you haven’t realized by now a woman notices everything!”

Fuck, I just dug myself a hole, this one reserved especially for me and my lying ass. How was I supposed to come back from this?

“Tell me where you were,” she demanded with a determination I wouldn’t be able to fight.

Groaning, I dragged my hands over my hair and stared up at the ceiling. So tired. So fucking tired.

“I can’t tell you,” I muttered.

“You can’t tell me?” Her voice rose in astonishment. “You can’t tell me? I’ve been through so much with you –”

“I’m done lying!” I interrupted loudly, looking back at her. I felt anger taking over now in a way I never felt toward her. “Fine, you caught me! I lied about where I would be. I didn’t have a fight. I didn’t go to the pub either. And you’re right, Marko didn’t get drunk because he doesn’t drink.”

“Tell me why you lied.”

“You can’t know.”

“I can’t know or you just won’t tell me?”

“You can’t,” I stressed, feeling the veins in my neck protrude. “It’s just that simple. I’m not doing anything to hurt you –”

“Not telling me is hurting me!”

“Look,” I growled out, leaning over to look at her square in the eye, “I’m not partying, or getting drunk, or fucking girls, or doing anything sordid behind your back! Bloody hell, I haven’t wronged you! I’ve been faithful to you every second of every day – hell, even my thoughts revolve around you. I spend every day being a father to Kayden and a partner to you, making sure you’re fed, you’re clothed, you’re happy! I’m providing to the best of my abilities. So if I don’t want to tell you one fucking thing, then I think I have that right!”