Ignite (Ignite 1)

See, Sara, she didn’t mean any of it! “That’s alright. I’ve had a pretty long day. I wouldn’t have been good company, anyway.”

“But I really wanted to see you. How about you stay the night? That way you’ll be there when I get home in the next hour or so.”

“I can’t. I’ve got to get back to my room.” And I desperately wanted to be away from her son.

She sighed, clearly disappointed. “Alright, then. Well, look, I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“Okay. I gotta get going.”

“Alright, hon.”

After our goodbyes, I put the phone in my purse and stood up. I looked at the front door and then at the hallway leading to the living room. Would it be rude if I just walked out without letting them know? Yes, it would be. Fuck.

I grabbed the bag of tightly packed Chinese food and inched my way there. I heard the television blaring in the background and other voices when I neared. It sounded like the brothers I’d met last night, and they were all having a hushed conversation of some kind. Eavesdropping couldn’t be helped, especially now that I was hovering just out of view in front of the living room entrance.

“Weren’t you with her all those years ago?” Josh asked curiously.

“I don’t remember,” Jaxon mumbled.

“Fucking liar.”

“What happened?” Christy hesitantly asked.

“I don’t remember,” Jaxon repeated. “She was that fucking forgettable.”

“She’s hot,” remarked Kurt. “If she was that forgettable, you won’t mind me nearing that, hey?”

“She’s taken, you fucking idiot. God help the guy she’s with, too. She’s a psychotic bitch, and I’d have nothing to do with her if it weren’t for my mom.”

Wow. I didn’t know what to say, but my body heaved forward, as if registering with that old flame of anger I’d extinguished all those years ago through therapy. I was mentally aware of my actions, and I wasn’t going to say anything out of that anger from catching someone say those things about me. Over time I had done remarkably well building restraint.

They were seated on the couch. One couch was facing my way, and the other the opposite way, with its back to me. The first one to see me was Kurt. His face fell and his eyes popped out of his thin head. Josh followed, and then Christy. They all looked suddenly pale, like they’d just been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Jaxon was the last to look my way, and his body stiffened slightly at my appearance, but out of disgust or surprise, I didn’t know.

“I’m heading off,” I said, putting on a fake smile. “Was just wondering where the bathroom was.”

“Beside the stairs,” Christy squeaked.

“I’ve also got this Chinese food here that I won’t be having. It’s still fresh and hot, if anyone’s hungry.”

Josh jumped off the couch and walked over to me. He couldn’t look me in the eye, but he attempted a smile and said, “Awesome. Thanks, Sara. I’m starving.”

I handed him the bag. “See you, guys.” I left before anyone had a chance to respond.

I didn’t bother going to the bathroom. I didn’t need to, and I only said it so they didn’t think I was snooping on them. I stepped out of the house and stood there for a long moment, hating life all the more because the rain had started picking up.

“You serious?” I called out to the sky above. “You barely rain all fucking day, and now it’s got to start?”

My jacket didn’t even have a damn hood. Damn this shit and my stupid shallowness in buying designer jackets that did me no favours in crappy weather.  I made sure my purse was zipped tight; the last thing I needed was my phone to get wet and ruined. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised stepping into an invisible sinkhole and dying a horrible death at the bottom.

Would anyone miss me? I mused to myself as I walked down the rainy sidewalk. If I died, I think I’d have three people show at my funeral: Lexi, Daniel, and Lucinda. Jaxon might actually stop by and piss on my grave just to prove all the more that he hated my guts even when they were rotting six feet beneath him. I abruptly stopped imagining that, quite disturbed by my train of thought. I just wanted to get into the shelter of a bus, even though I was probably going to have to wait a while at the stop; the stop that was brand new and had no overhead cover, I recalled. Fuck my life.

Forgettable. Psychotic bitch. I gritted my teeth. Sure, I expected for him to think badly of me, but what about all those memories of us together, of how happy we used to be? Forgettable apparently. I wished they were to me, too. It’d spare me the pain. I’d spent God knows how many nights in bed pining for the good times because they were solidified in my memory.

I choked out a sob and shook my head roughly. No, stop being a cry baby. Toughen up.

The chill in the air had me wrapping my arms tightly across my chest and sinking half my face in the collar of my jacket. The rain was pouring down now, and the tranquil suburban streets were deserted. The sky began to darken, so I picked up my pace. Two more long ass blocks to go...

The sound of my heavy breathing and of the rain had muffled out the sound of the car I was oblivious of suddenly cruising at my pace beside me. When I heard the honk of that car, I jumped and looked over. It was a sleek black Mercedes-Benz, but the window of the passenger seat was too tinted for me to know who was behind the wheel. As if answering to my thoughts, the window was electronically wound down, and I bent down to see Jaxon in the driver’s seat, looking over at me with a blank face.

“Need a ride?” he asked flatly.

I stopped, shivering under the cold drops splattering all over me. Get in with him and only him? Was this a trap? He waited patiently for me to decide, looking ahead at the road in front of him. I was too cold to stand around and debate his offer. I opened the door and slid into the black leather seat next to him. He closed the window and started driving again, but then he made a U-turn and we were en route to his house.

“What are you doing?”

“Mom said you were staying at the Manor Motel.”

“So?”

“That part of town is dangerous.”

I sighed, irritated already that Lucinda would put him up to this. “Stop the car, please.”

He flashed me a confused look. “What?”