Forever in Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood (Sisterhood 4)

“You can’t?”

“Honey, they’re all coming. They are like our extended family. I couldn’t think of not having Ari and George. And Lena? That’s not a question. I can’t exactly say everybody come but leave Effie home.”

“Why not?” Tibby said sourly.

“Tibby.”

“So would you mind disinviting me?”

More and more, Tibby spent her time watching TV. She’d given up on the computer and her “Script.” She watched all the murder shows. All the makeover shows. All the soap operas. All the cooking shows. Even the bug shows and the history shows. She blew most of her savings buying a TiVo on eBay. With the rest she bought a used PlayStation. Everything she needed was right there in that little TV. She watched for Maria Blanquette, but she never came on anymore.

There were quiet moments, though, maybe in the middle of the night or the very early morning, when the countless hours of TV sanded her brain down so that she could see life’s bigger patterns. And then Tibby had the sad thought that while she was staring at the screen, Brian, former Dragon Master, was being with a girl and living a life.

To: ; ;

From:

Subject: It

* * *

I truly cannot believe I’m writing a shotgun e-mail to tell you this, but I couldn’t tell one of you without telling the others.

I did it. It it. Or we did it, I should say. Me and Leo.

Bee, I think it was you (was it not) who bet a dozen crullers it wouldn’t happen before I was twenty-five. Ahem.

It’s not that I was in a hurry or anything. I really wasn’t. I would have forked over the donuts. I think I just realized that I was waiting for something that wasn’t even real.

I’ll have to give you the details in person when we are together. (Carmen??)

I’m suddenly picturing my dad seizing my computer and reading everything I write.

Love, love, love, love, love,

Your Loving Lena (Lover of Leo)

Originally, Bee’s return trip took her from Izmir to Istanbul to New York and ended with a short flight to Boston. Her plan at the time was to end up in Providence with a week and a half to get in shape for preseason soccer training camp.

But at the airport in Istanbul she switched the flight to Boston to a flight to Washington, D.C., instead.

And what made her happy, after a disorienting number of hours in transit, was seeing Tibby and Lena at the very front of the baggage area waiting for her. She ran at them, almost flattening them in her joy.

“I’m so glad you are here!” she shouted at them.

“We missed you,” Lena said as Bee hugged and hugged them.

“I missed you,” Bee avowed.

There was too much to say, so they didn’t bother quite yet. They drove to Angie’s downtown and stuffed their faces with pancakes and bacon even though it wasn’t breakfast time, and felt happy to be together. Bee realized they were good at trusting that the moment would come when all would be shared and all would be known. They would wait until Carmen was with them for the true unburdening.

Bridget was lucky, she really was. In the ways that counted.

“I’ve got to take care of some things at home,” Bee said as Tibby pulled her mom’s car up to Bee’s house. “But I’ll come by your parents’ party later, okay?”

“Good. It’ll be you, me, Len…Brian and Effie,” Tibby said darkly.

“Oh, no,” said Bee. “Really?”

“Yes.”

Bee looked at Lena, who shrugged. “Has Effie ever done what I wanted?”

“I’ll bring my riot gear,” Bee said.

Bee realized after she’d waved good-bye and watched them go that she did not have the key to her house. She didn’t feel like knocking. She left her bags in front of the door and went to the back of the house. She still knew the tricks of the kitchen door. She jimmied it patiently and it opened for her. She walked purposefully inside.

Her dad was still at work, she guessed, and Perry would be in his room. She got her bags from the front of her house. She marched them upstairs. Without stopping to think too much she unzipped her duffel bag and began putting her things in her old, emptied drawers.

She opened a window in her room. When she was done unpacking, she walked down to the kitchen and opened a window there, too. She made a quick circuit around the small and overgrown backyard, stopping briefly to pull a few hydrangea balls from the neighbors’ bush. She put the blue flowers in a glass in the middle of the kitchen table.

She looked in the refrigerator. There wasn’t much there. A bottle of ginger ale. A half-full carton of milk. Some takeout boxes. A wilting bunch of celery in the bottom drawer.

In the cabinet were various cans, who knew how old. Then she remembered the cereal. She opened the pantry door and saw the impressive lineup of boxes. Both her father and her brother were big on cereal.

She found a bowl and a teaspoon. She poured herself a short layer of cornflakes and added some milk, pleased that it had not yet expired. She sat herself down at the little kitchen table. She wasn’t hungry and it didn’t taste particularly good, but she ate it.

She left her bowl and spoon in the sink. She left her purse dangling on the chair.

For better and worse, this was her home, and she would remember how to live in it.

The magic had worn off. The loveliness had vanished absolutely. She was back to sweatshirt Carmen, though it was too hot to actually wear one.

She stayed in her bed, trying to sleep through rehearsal. She felt the old Destructo-Carmen impulse, and she tried to work it.

Julia was sympathetic. She brought her cookies and tea from the canteen. She brought her bags of salty Fritos and let her borrow her iPod. She promised they would never talk about meter again if Carmen felt like it was making it worse.

“Thanks,” Carmen said tearfully.

She would have stayed in bed all day, but opening night was now four days away, and Carmen knew if she missed the afternoon part, Andrew would maim, mangle, dismember, and also kill her.

She dragged herself miserably to the theater. She was slowly turning invisible again. Jonathan wasn’t even bothering to flirt with her anymore.

She was unfortunately still visible to Judy, who was waiting stage left to pounce on her.

“Carmen, c’mere,” she said, walking briskly out back.

Carmen felt herself suffocating, even apart from the ninety-five-degree heat and one-hundred-percent humidity.

“I don’t like to think I have made a mistake.”

“Me either,” Carmen said dolefully.

“I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with you.”

“Where to start,” Carmen said.

Judy looked at her sharply. “You’re wallowing.”

“I know.”

“It’s too late to get someone else to do this.”

Carmen felt the thud of her pulse in her head.

“And yes, I have thought about it.”

Carmen was done with being smart. She had nothing to say.

“You know, Carmen, the great majority of people achieve real quality in acting by work and study. There are a few people who have very strong natural instincts, and for them it sometimes makes sense to just get out of the way and let it happen. Do you know what I’m saying?”

Carmen nodded, though she didn’t fully know what Judy was saying.

“So you go home and figure out what the trouble is and come back tomorrow for dress rehearsal and do your job.”

Carmen gazed at Judy without confidence.

“One last thing.”

“Yes.”

“Trust yourself. Don’t listen to anybody else.”

Carmen tried not to roll her eyes, but it seemed to her a laughable command at this point.

Judy shrugged. “That’s all I’m going to say.”

“So look what I bought,?

?? Bee said to her father when he got home from work.

He was surprised to see her, first off, let alone the array of vegetables, fresh fruit, and pasta she’d bought at the new Whole Foods and left on the counter. “I’m only home for a couple of nights, so I thought we could make dinner together.”