I shake my head at him and at my own thoughts.
Truly, despite backing down, nothing seems settled tonight at all.
Aside from Dad’s health, hopefully.
“Thanks, Ridge, for all you’re doing. All you’ve done. I couldn’t believe it when Tobin had a doctor drive out here. That would’ve never happened where we lived.”
“It’s the country.” He stands up and carries his plate to the sink. “It’s been that way since I moved here. The people are down-to-earth. Honest. Helpful. I’d heard other guys in the Army talk about their hometowns, the hospitality, places tucked away in Oklahoma or little Colorado mountain towns. I never had that back in California, but I felt it instantly on my first visit to Dallas. I told Tobin I was buying this place even before I’d seen it because of the way we’d been treated in town. They’d been warm, welcoming, without even knowing who I was behind the baseball cap and shades.”
“That must’ve been nice. I can’t complain about anything here so far.” I smile and stand to carry my cup and plate to the sink.
The sandwich was as good as he promised, and the hot chocolate slayed.
Thank God my panties are still intact and not in orbit.
He carries the sandwich fixings to the fridge.
“I haven’t regretted my move here yet,” he says. “Not even with winter smothering everything for half the damn year.”
“Until I came along, you mean, and your privacy went up in smoke.”
Closing the fridge, he turns, grasps my hands, and holds them firmly.
“How many times are you going to make me say it? That wasn’t your fault, darlin’. Shit, if anyone wanted to know where I was, they’d have found me. It’s not like I changed my name and went into witness protection. Just kept a low profile here since we landed, revealing myself very selectively. My buddy, Faulk, he knew me from way back in the Army. Grady and Drake, I told later as I got to know them, knowing they’d seen enough crap to be trusted.”
Holy sex-eyes, batman.
My entire being snaps, crackles, and sizzles at the way he’s looking at me, and my heart skips a beat when he leans closer.
Try to breathe.
Try to not dare think about kissing him.
I don’t even know where those thoughts, those desires are coming from. But they’re there, grinding me down with reckless heat.
And he’s still coming closer.
It takes a hot, heavy second to realize what hits me.
Ridge’s lips, warm and soft and deliberate, touch my forehead in this sweet, chaste kiss that still feels dirty.
“It’s going to be all right,” he tells me, those blue eyes burning a hole through my skin. “Let’s get you to bed.”
I take a step back, trying to separate myself from him, from the sheer disappointment of wanting him to kiss far more than my forehead. “Uh, sure thing. I just…I need to go get my suitcase.”
“Tobin will bring it over.”
“Oh, yeah!” I wonder how maniacal I look wearing the world’s most awkward smile.
I nod, and needing to put some space between myself and Hotlips, I say, “I’ll take the room at the end of the hall. I saw it’s got plenty of space and its own bathroom.”
I know the layout of the house well enough from my decorating walk-through.
“Smart pick. That one that has a window facing the cabin,” he says with a grin.
I nod again, feeling like my head still wants to drop off.
“Go on up to bed. I’ll have Tobin set your suitcase outside your door. Holler if you need anything.”
I look down, breath stalling in my lungs.
Uh-oh.
So he still hasn’t let go of my hands, ruining my dreams of a normal pulse.
Crud. I haven’t even thought about kissing or how unbearably handsome a man can be, or how good they can smell, in a long while.
Before, there wasn’t time. Not with Mom being ill, work to do on the farm, and then stressing, running, escaping.
There isn’t time now either, you idiot, a dark voice says from the back of my mind. Don’t ruin this. Don’t ruin yourself with bad memories.
With a parting smile, I snatch my hands out of his and start walking, resisting the urge to run.
I’m flushed, dizzy, overheated, and more confused than I’ve ever been in my life.
Mostly, I’m just shell-shocked this is even happening.
After what had happened with Clay, I thought I’d never, ever let a man touch me again.
By the time I make it upstairs, down the hall, and into the bedroom, I’m trembling, refusing to let my mind drift back in time to the worst day of my life.
The day I made things go from bad to worse.
There has to be something I can do…
Crossing the room, I yank aside the curtain and see Tobin’s dark shape on the walkway below, carrying my suitcase. The very same pink-and-black rock chick bag I’d packed this morning and set beside the door.