I nodded, knowing the rest of that sentence by heart, that we knew what it felt like when it’s the right one.
I wanted to choke out a sob and tell him I loved him. No one had ever been as in love as I was at that moment. His smile, the way he looked at me like there was nothing he’d rather look at. I felt captured and held by that gaze. Something, some fear held me back. I swallowed the words I wanted to speak to him. If I said them, there’d be no taking it back. No stopping what we’d started. I wasn’t ready for that, not yet. Not when upsetting my brother meant upsetting my dad, whose health hung in the balance. I couldn’t just reach out and take what I wanted and everything else be damned. My life didn’t operate that way. So I forced a smile and snuggled against him.
It had been incredible, not only physically but emotionally. The way we were connected, the sheer closeness between us. I might not be able to confess my feelings to him just yet, but there was no way in hell I could pretend we were just friends after that. Not after we’d made love like the world was ending and we had only one night. I was in too deep to imagine I could act casual about this. When it felt so profound, so life-changing, I was helpless to put on a false front like we were nothing more than acquaintances, that he was just one of Ryan’s friends.
In his strong arms with a blanket drawn over us, I rested. I let my eyes drift shut and burrowed into his chest, “I want this every night now,” I murmured. I felt him kiss my forehead. I fell asleep, just lightly, never losing awareness of where I was, that I was in Luke’s house, in his bed, that I would have to get up and put on my clothes and go home in a few minutes. But it was a gentle, romantic time that I savored. At last, I reluctantly sat up and kissed him quickly.
“I should be going.”
“I’ll walk you to your car, since you parked a few blocks away.”
“No. The only thing worse than doing the walk of shame in this town is being seen with the guy,” I said dismally.
“No way you’re walking out of here in the dark by yourself. Who do you take me for?” he said, lifting the covers to look for his underwear.
I tossed him his boxer briefs and struggled back into my bra. I was almost completely dressed when his pager went off.
“Are you on call tonight?”
“No. Must be somebody can’t make it. I’m calling in, get your shoes on,” he said.
I darted to the bathroom, cleaned up and put my shoes on as instructed. When I came out, he hung up his phone and ushered me to the door, “I’m sorry to rush you off like this,” he said.
“No, it’s probably better this way. I mean not for the people whose house is on fire—I don’t mean that. I mean I won’t have to walk to my car knowing you’re back here in bed, and I could be with you. It’d be hard to resist,” I said.
“This way,” he said, leading me into the garage.
“No, I’m parked—”
“Two blocks away, I know. I’m taking you to your car. Then I’m heading out to the county line road to that fire. Hop in.”
“No, someone could see us,” I said.
“Why are you whispering? This is my garage,” he said lightly. He opened the door of his truck. I climbed in, more because I didn’t want to delay him on the fire call than anything else. I directed him to the street where I’d parked. He stopped, pulled me into his arms and kissed me, “That was the best night of my life,” he said, “No contest.”
I grinned. I didn’t stop grinning all the way home as I went over how much fun we’d had together, how I’d never been on a date that was so fun and easy and sexy and—full of orgasms.
16
Luke
I added another dash of hot sauce to the chili. It was my night to cook for the other guys on duty at the station. I stirred the gigantic pot and asked Jake if he had the buns out for the hot dogs. He nodded.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” he said.
“What?” I said.
“The girl down at the lumber yard. Remember, you got super pissed when we talked about her?”
“Yeah, I remember. What about her?” I asked, trying hard to keep the warning from my voice.
I took bowls down from the cupboard and started to set the long table while Jake grabbed the silverware and napkins.
“Wait,” I said. “Did you make the sweet tea?”