Fate (My Blood Approves 2)

“I don’t know.” I leaned back on the couch, pulling my knees up to my chest.

“Is it about what happened tonight?” Jack asked, and I didn’t immediately answer. “Alice, you’ve got nothing to be scared of. They would never hurt you, not outside of that club, and we’re never going back there.”

“No, it’s not that,” I shook my head. “I’m not scared. I mean, not about that. I know you and Milo would never let anything happen, and they seemed like losers anyway.”

“They were,” Jack agreed, but he sounded serious. “What are you scared of then?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed and tried to sort out what I wanted to say. “Maybe scared isn’t the right word. I just…. Did you know them? Did you know any of the vampires down there?”

“No, I don’t think so. I’ve seen some around, but I’m not acquainted with any of them. I’m not really into that scene.” He propped himself up more, and even in the darkness, I could see the worry and confusion on his face. “What are you trying to find out?”

“I don’t know. All the vampires down there were just so… attractive. Olivia’s like a goddess, and even Violet with her silly makeup couldn’t mask that she was very pretty.”

“Oh, come on.” He rolled his eyes as he connected the dots. “They barely gave me the time of day. Besides, you were the hot sensation down there.”

“That’s different.” I brushed past it. “And I wasn’t complaining about them hitting on you. I was wondering… if you…” I squirmed, finding it difficult just to say it.

“What?” Jack asked. “I think Violet was right. I might’ve seen her around before, but everything she was saying was just to get you going. We’d never done anything.”

“I know.” I shivered a little, so maybe my girl boxers weren’t such a good idea.

“Take some of the covers.” He pushed some at me with his feet, and I scooted closer to him so I could snuggle underneath his blankets. When I felt his leg brush against my thigh, I decided I’d moved close enough.

“This is why I don’t wear these pajamas here.”

“That’s what they made blankets for,” Jack laughed.

“What do you use blankets for anyway?” I asked, and he looked at me like I was a total idiot. “No, I mean, you guys love it cold. Why do you need to cover up?”

“Force of habit, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I only do it when I go to bed. Why? Does it bother you?”

“Why would it bother me?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know why anything bothers you!” Jack sighed.

“Oh, whatever. You know why everything bothers me.” My chill was fading away, but I pulled the covers up to my neck anyway.

“Okay, fine.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “What’s bothering you about tonight? What are you actually getting at?”

“I’m not…” I decided just to spit it out. “Did you sleep with any of them?”

“That’s what you’re getting at?”

“Yeah,” I blushed at his surprise. He seemed to think it was obviously stupid, and I couldn’t see why. “I mean… you’re still… you still… I don’t know.” I buried myself further under the covers, wishing I could disappear completely. “Do vampires even have sex?”

“Yeah,” Jack laughed, and he sat up a little. “We do. I have, yes. Both as a human and as a vampire, although probably not as much as you’re thinking.”

“I don’t know how much I’m thinking,” I admitted. My mind vacillated somewhere between one and a million, but none of the numbers sounded right. “How much do you think I’m thinking?”

“Do you actually wanna have this conversation?” He looked at me earnestly. “I’m willing to, if you are, but… do you actually wanna talk about this?”

“I don’t know anything about your relationship history at all, and I’d like to,” I said, peering at him over the top of the blankets.

“You just look so terrified by it.”

“Cause I don’t know what I’ll find out.” My eyes met his for a moment before I dropped them.

“It’s not bad,” he said, but the pit in my stomach only seemed to grow. It didn’t help that this topic made him nervous.

“Well… how about a ballpark figure?” I asked.

“Oh,” Jack groaned. “I don’t know about that.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s misleading.”

“Misleading?” I raised an eyebrow, and he leaned back on the couch, relenting.

“Fine.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “The thing is, I dated this girl from the time I was 14 until I was 20. I mean, she was the only girl I was with for all of high school. After we broke up, I went out with one other girl for like four months, and that’s it. I mean, as a mortal guy, I had tons of girls that were friends, but like no action at all. So, two girls as a human. That’s it.”

“And then?” I asked nervously.

“When I turned… suddenly hot girls wanted me, and even some hot vampires, which you know, when you’re new to this, vampires look really hot.” He scratched at his head and shifted uneasily.

“You know how we said that in the beginning, you’re hungrier than normal? Like Milo thinks he needs to eat every hour when he really doesn’t? And all your emotions are right at the top? Well… so…” He trailed off.

“No, I don’t wanna talk about this,” Jack decided, rubbing his eye and shaking his head. “It’s really not that bad. Honest. But I don’t want you to think of me like that. Cause I’m not.

“I mean, I never was. Human, I only ever had sex in relationships, and the past fourteen years I’ve barely done anything. So I don’t want to be judged on the first year or two when I was stupid and young. Okay?”

“Its scaring me more that you won’t tell me,” I said. “Is it like a thousand girls or something?”

“No, no, god, no!” Jack insisted with wide eyes. “It was like… twenty girls. I think it was like fifteen girls and six vampires. I think. I mean. I’m sorry.” His cheeks flushed with shame.