Surprise Daddy

Praise. It’s rare. I haven’t gotten so much as a thank you since he screamed his version of common sense into me over the phone while I was still in my Des Moines dorm room.

I did the family a huge favor putting my life on hold to come back. As much as I don’t mind helping dad, it can’t go on forever. I need a life.

It’s now or never. “Actually, guys, there’s something I wanted to run by you…I’ve got my hands busy looking after mom between training. Turns out, I’m getting really short on savings, and it’d sure be nice to have a full gas tank this winter without begging dad for change.”

Jackson flops back in his chair, his ghost of a smile disappearing. “Oh, here it comes. Just spit it out, sis. What are you hinting at?”

“There’s a job I saw for a part-time babysitter in town. I’m going to apply.” I wait for disapproval to boil over in my brother’s eyes. I’ll have to make my case, and fast. “Before you start, I’m not being irresponsible or unrealistic. I listened to you, Jackson. I came home to help dad so he doesn’t go crazy and we don’t have to put her in a place she’ll hate. I’ve been doing it for six months, in between trying to get my life back on track. Can’t you at least see I’ve put some serious thought into this?”

One little white lie won’t hurt. Before today, I’d never even seen the Castoff in the flesh, much less considered working for him. Of course, I’m conveniently omitting that part, too.

So, two little white lies.

“Can’t you at least pretend you soaked in what just happened tonight?” Jackson folds his hands, leaning in, a shadow hanging on his face. “Ginger’s pregnant, Sadie. We can’t pick up any slack if you’re thinking we want to spend any longer in this fun house than necessary helping dad.”

“Jackson…”

My brother lifts his hand, cutting off his wife, the voice of reason. “Sure wish somebody sat down like this and asked me to rearrange my life before I went overseas. Would’ve saved me a skin graft.”

Here comes the guilt trip. Lovely.

I respect my brother’s service and his sacrifices. It’s when he uses them to get his way, to control everyone else’s lives, that I loathe him.

“You know that’s not what I’m saying. Not even close. Everyone respects what you did over there. I’ve made sacrifices for this family, too. They’re very different, obviously, but they’re real.”

“Hm, what were those again, sis? Six months taking care of our own mother and gritting your teeth the whole time? After I begged you to come home from your stupid pre-med degree draining dad’s 401 in tuition? Shit. Tell you what, I’ll turn my purple heart over to you.”

“Jackson, enough!” Ginger’s nerves of steel have melted. She spreads her arms between us, sighing, and gives me a pleading look. “Let me know the hours you need. I’ll help Peter when he needs it.”

“Babe, no…” Jackson grabs her hand, pulling it to his chest. The daggers in his eyes turn on me. “You’re not putting her out when she’s carrying my kid. Apologize.”

“I’m sorry…sorry for wanting a life.” I’m so done. My palms press the edge of the table, ready to ease my chair back so I can run to my room, but Ginger shakes off my brother, grabbing my arm.

“Wait! This is ridiculous, you guys.” She looks at Jackson again, her anger melting into doe eyes. “Give her a chance, hon. Please. She deserves it after all she’s done the last six months. It’s not like I have anything better to do, sitting around at home while your dad needs help. I’ll be a stay at home, remember?”

Calming, my brother slides his fingers through hers, locking them tight. “Damned straight. Whatever you want to do, Sadie. Maybe I overreacted tonight. Fuck, I’m just so sick of it. Mom’s condition, whatever it is, has screwed us royal.”

“Yeah, well, we make do. That’s what we’ve always done, isn’t it?” I wait for him to give me the look that says he knows what I’m talking about. “I’m doing this whether you like it or not, Jackson. But I’d really, really love to have your support. Just for once.”

He’s quiet for a minute. I’m expecting another verbal lashing, and this time I will walk away, but he eases into his seat. “You’ve got it. For real. It’s just a part-time job. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You could find out I’m working for the man who pulled you into a fistfight. I just feel crazier when I confront the other truth I’m hiding.

Still, tonight feels like training. It’s the first time I’ve grown a backbone in a good, long while.

I like it. And I know what I need to do.