“I checked the ham. It’s looking good, but I hope you won’t be out here too much longer, daddy.”
I give her a look like hot death. Don’t even.
Then, a second later, I’m laughing like a fucking idiot.
“That’s why you’re out here, Red? To tell jokes and rub some nonsense dream Mia had in my face?” I lean forward, ignoring the wind hitting me in the face. Think I need it to cool down every second my eyes spend glued to Sadie, deciphering her hourglass shape under that jacket.
“Actually, I wanted to have a conversation before you started choking up.” I fix my eyes impatiently, waiting for the rest. Go on. “You’re not…worried? Not afraid this new arrangement is confusing her?”
“You’ve been at this gig long enough to realize kids say the craziest shit.” I stoop down, laying another brick on the tarp, testing it with a quick jerk to make sure it’s secure.
“Well, if you’re not worried…” Neither am I, she should say, but it lingers on the tip of her tongue, never coming out.
I stand, grasping her shoulders, pulling her closer. Time to put this crap to bed before it complicates everything more. “Not worried in the slightest, Red. Mia’s always had an active imagination. Don’t think she’s about to up and start calling you mommy, but if she does and it bothers you, I’ll have a talk.”
“No. Nothing like that. It’s just…” She drifts off, searching for words. I can’t tell if her cheeks are so flushed because we’re risking frostbite every second spent out here, or if it’s what’s weighing on her mind. “What happened to ‘mommy,’ Marshal? It’s none of my business, I know. You said never mention her, but this isn’t the first time we’ve gone there. She asked me the same question not so long ago.”
Shock growls through my heart. Even the cold can’t stop the lava surging in my blood. “Told you before, we don’t talk about her around here, Sadie. She’s nobody.”
“Is she really…dead?” The last word comes out of her mouth like a squeak.
I don’t know what the fuck comes over me next.
I’m just growling, seizing her wrist, pulling her away from the machines. We quickly take the narrow path behind the fence, leading to my shop.
Inside, I switch on the light and kick the door shut. She throws her hood down, and I see her breathing heavy, uncertain what’s coming next. I wish to hell I knew.
Revisiting fucking Jenna is the last way I want to start this year.
“Next time we kiss, warn me it makes you nosy instead of horny.” My eyes stab her. The frustration welling up inside me doesn’t stop the wicked flick of delight I get seeing Red turn redder. “It was a different time in my life, since you’re dying to know. A fucked up time.”
“Marshal…it’s not like that. If it’s something you’re hiding, something you need to keep locked away, just say so.”
“No. You asked.” I pause, ripping off my gloves, the better to take her hands. I pluck them out of her pockets, tightening my grip, making sure I’ve got her whole attention before I cough up the ugly truth.
“Marshal, hey…”
I hold her jade eyes prisoner. “I was home from the war all kinds of messed up. Lost, hurting, very pissed off. Took almost a year to put these hands to real work again. That’s because I spent the rest of the time looking after my ma, before she lost her fight with cancer.”
“Oh. Jesus.” Her soft, evasive look says more than any words. Too bad I won’t let her weasel away from the curiosity that brought us here.
“When I wasn’t spending my time keeping her company, checking her vitals, making her more comfortable than any strangers could before the end, I hit the bars. Marinated myself in booze early and often. Fucked more bar bitches than one man should in a lifetime.”
Actually, just three. But that’s still plenty for this life.
There’s a jealous, hurt twitch in her face. Damn if it isn’t a little satisfying. You wanted the truth, Red. Remember? Here it fucking is.
“Jenna was a big goddamn mistake. Knew she was a wild child from the first time I beat her at pool, and she paid our bet in head.”
Sadie wrinkles her nose. “Ew. I don’t need the fine print. Just –“
No. I yank her closer, until our faces are only inches apart. There’s a sick, fierce desire to put my lips on hers again, and this time add teeth. “Long story short, we hooked up twice. She blew town. Took off after some biker fucks who offered more adventure and better drugs than anything she could get in this town. That was fine. I never meant to make us a thing.” I pause, trying to cool my blood before reaching the part that’s always a roiling boil. “Ma died. I started tinkering with shit, putting some of my Army Ranger skills to civilian use. I was good, and the county learned fast. Hit me up for jobs all the time. Stopped visiting the bars as often, but I heard the gossip. Jenna came back here pregnant, sure it was somebody who’d knocked her up the year before.”