The words all spilled out of her in a stream I could barely understand, and when she looked at me, her expression seemed exhausted, like all that had drained her.
“Wow,” I said. “You’ve really put a lot of thought into that.”
She shrugged. “I haven’t really been thinking about much else recently but the way you and your family were going to deal with this. But that one just kind of hit me. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or anything.”
“Merry is a lot tougher than that. At least, she usually is. Pregnancy has done some weird things to her. But I promise, she’s not going to be angry because she finds out she isn’t the first one to give a baby to one of the Freeman boys. She’ll probably be excited that there will be a built-in cousin already prepared for her baby when its born,” I told her.
Finally, Kelly nodded.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay?” I asked, feeling a little boost of happiness. “Okay, you’ll come?”
She nodded again. “Yes. Okay, I’ll come. It’s a lot. Like, a whole lot. But I really appreciate you letting me go through each step of this on my own terms. I don’t want your family feeling like I’m trying to keep them shut out or that I don’t want them to be a part of Willa’s life. Of our life.”
“But you’ve wanted to do it on our own time,” I told her. “I understand that. It’s what I want, too. And I think this is the perfect time.”
“Then it’s the perfect time,” Kelly agreed. “I’m pretty much ready to follow you anywhere. I didn’t think I was going to get all of this, that this could really be my life. It’s still a shock, but I want all of it. I’m nervous, but I’m ready.”
34
Kelly
“Are you sure you have to go?” I asked Kira as she finished folding the last of her clothes and tucking them in her suitcase.
Just watching her pack back up was breaking my heart. I’d gotten so used to having her here with me and enjoyed it so much, having to come to terms with her leaving was much harder than I expected. Mostly because I didn’t let myself think about her ever going back to Canada, so I didn’t expect anything. I wanted to believe my twin was always going to be here with me. Of course, that wasn’t realistic. She still had a life back in Quebec. She’d managed to upheave it entirely for a while to come rescue me from myself, but I really couldn’t expect her to just abandon it all together so she could stay with me.
“You know I do,” she told me. “I came here because you were having a hard time and to support you while you told Darren about Willa. Everything is working out really well for you now—Darren knows, things are going great. So, now it’s time for me to get back to my life. I have to get back to work before they decided I’ve gone MIA and give my job to someone else.”
“You can’t stay for just a couple more days? Even just until tomorrow?” I asked.
Kira went to the dresser and emptied the top drawer of her jewelry, perfume, and other small items. She gave me a look.
“That doesn’t possibly have anything to do with the family grill out at Quentin’s house this evening, does it?” she asked.
I sighed.
“I’m just so nervous. I really want you to come with me. You always make me feel calmer and more put together. And in this situation, I’m going to need all the calm and put-together feelings I can possibly manage.”
“You’re going to be fine. I promise. They already know you, so it’s not like you’re walking in and meeting a brand-new family for the very first time. And they already know about Willa, so you aren’t dropping a bomb on them or anything. You’re just going over there to hang out and let your little girl get to know the rest of her family. You should look forward to it,” Kira told me.
“I will miss you so much,” I said softly, feeling like the emotions were building up and going to erupt any second. “I don’t know what I’m going to do here without you.”
“You’re going to be just fine. I promise. Everything is going the way you want it to now, and things are just going to keep working out for you. We’ll see each other again soon,” she told me.
I hugged her tight, wanting to get as much of that feeling as I could so I could hold on to it when she was gone. She left and I got myself together to get ready for the gathering at Quentin’s house. I changed my outfit at least six times, wanting to find one that would look good without seeming like I was trying too hard. It felt silly to be doing so much to go see these people I already know. But even though I knew the Freemans, this was a totally different context. It wasn’t just me going to their house to spend time with them. Not like eating lunch at the compound or going to the races or even hanging out at the bar after a victory.