It wouldn’t be an easy conversation. I understood where she was coming from. It was a major shock for her, but it was also painful. She’d missed out on the earliest stages of Willa’s life just like I had, and that was painful. She felt hurt and almost betrayed by Kelly as well. She hadn’t come right out and said it, but I had the feeling she was still unsure of Kelly’s motivations coming to work at the compound. She’d sat there across from my mother even before she’d seen me on the day she was being interviewed, and they’d talked. Somehow Mom felt like she should have known, like she should have sensed something about Kelly. I needed to talk to her and let her know that wasn’t the way it was and explain the situation the way Kelly explained it to me.
Hopefully there would come a time very soon when they would be able to come together and smooth everything out. My family had always been the most important thing to me, and I wanted to bring Kelly and Willa into that closeness rather than have them be a separate entity.
We got to the house, and Kelly reached in for the diaper bag while I got Willa out of her car seat. I still wasn’t one hundred percent confident in that maneuver yet. She was super wiggly when trying to move her from the seat into my arms, and the fear of dropping her was a very real thing. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get over it if she slipped out of my hands and got hurt. So, I was working on a move that would basically swing her out of her seat and up against my chest so I could pin her in place before she had much of a chance to wiggle. I hadn’t perfected it yet, but I was hoping for a lot more practice.
“Are you ready?” I asked her.
Willa grabbed my face with her chubby little hands and squeezed my cheeks, then gave me a wet kiss. I laughed so I didn’t cry. We were getting closer and closer as the days went by, and my heart told me when she grew up, she wouldn’t remember a time without me in her life. That’s all I could hope for. I never wanted her to think about me and wonder why I wasn’t there for her.
We walked into the house, and I called out for my parents.
“We’re all back here, son,” Dad shouted back from the living room.
I brought her through the house, remembering the last night I was here. It was so different that day as I stalked through my childhood home angry, frantic and not knowing how I was supposed to be reacting to the news I might be a father. Now I was back in the house carrying my little daughter and happier than I’d ever been. We got to the living room, and Kelly stopped short in the entryway. I could immediately see I was right about her not being prepared for the extent my parents were gearing up for having Willa in their home on a regular basis.
She stared wide-eyed at the play area set up in the living room. Set to the side of the fireplace, wide white plastic fencing created a large octagon of space cushioned by a thick rug. The fencing ensured Willa wouldn’t get too close to the sharp stone edge of the hearth and also contained the assortment of giant soft blocks, stuffed animals, and toys. Willa’s eyes lit up when she saw it.
“There’s my grandbaby!” Mom gushed, jumping up from the couch and rushing toward us. She extended her hands, then paused and looked at Kelly first, then me. “Can I hold her?”
“Of course,” I said as Kelly nodded.
“Usurper!” Merry shouted playfully from the couch where she was leaned in much the same position as she was when I found her at their house.
She was laughing, and Mom waved her off before reaching for Willa. She scooped her out of my arms and danced her over to the play area, cooing and murmuring to her. She opened the gate and stepped into the play area, closing it behind her. As she settled down on the floor with Willa in her lap, Kelly dug in the diaper bag and pulled out Willa’s favorite baby doll. She brought it over, and Willa happily took it, cradling it to her. After a few seconds, she reached out for one of the new toys and showed it to her baby doll. Kelly smiled and went over to sit with Merry.
“I see you put clothes on today,” she teased. “That’s progress.”
“It was under duress,” Merry told her, still a touch cranky but mostly joking.
Quentin and I looked at each other, exchanging happy smiles. We really enjoyed seeing the women we cared about getting along so well. After a few minutes, Dad decided he wasn’t going to let Mom have all the fun and joined them on the floor in the play area. The four of us brothers laughed, but we were all touched by the scene. I knew they’d always wanted a daughter after they had their four boys, but it had never happened for them. Though they were much older now, Willa was a chance for them to experience some of what they’d dreamed of having with a daughter of their own.