“I thought I was going to be able to do that, but I can’t. My family is extremely close, and I don’t keep things from them. It’s especially hard to do that in this particular situation considering we work together and most of my family is there with us,” he said.
“So, what do you want to do?” I asked. “Put out a bulletin in the company newsletter that we had sex in my office?”
“I don’t think it needs to go that far,” he said. “I know this isn’t the easiest situation for you, either. But just hear me out. We don’t need to present it as we just got swept up and made an impulsive decision. Instead, we put a spin on it.”
“A spin?” I asked.
“Yes. We say we had a fling. Present it as there was something there and we made an intentional decision to spend time together, but then we both realized it wasn’t going to go anywhere, so we let it drop. It’s not a big deal, and we’re perfectly fine with each other. There aren’t any hard feelings or issues between us,” he said. “We just get it all out in the open, and that way we’re not trying to hide anything or going behind anybody’s back.”
I thought about that for a few seconds. That actually didn’t sound so bad. But there were still some sticky questions that needed to be managed.
“Isn’t that going to cause problems, though? The boss sleeping with his employee? Even if it was a fling?” I asked.
Quentin shook his head.
“No. The company doesn’t have any rules about fraternization. That’s actually a throwback to when my father owned it. He always had the joke that because he owned the company and was married to the woman who did the hiring, he couldn’t have rules against intra-office relationships because then he’d have to fire himself since he certainly wasn’t going to stop fraternizing with his wife.”
Finally, I nodded.
“That could definitely work,” I agreed. “I’ve actually been wanting to tell my best friend about it, just because like you said, I didn’t want to just have it all locked up inside. But I decided against it because I didn’t really know how it would come across. But if we’re going to put that spin on it, then it’s fine.”
We talked for another few seconds, then headed back. I felt better as we walked together toward the party, ready to send the team off to prepare for the race to begin. There was a strange sense of weight being lifted off of me. Up until that moment, I didn’t realize the situation was bothering me any more than just being shocked and a little dismayed by my own decision making. It didn’t occur to me that not being able to talk to anyone about it was a problem. Not talking to Olivia was unusual, but only because I talked to her about everything.
Now that Quentin and I had talked, though, I realized it was getting to me more than I would have expected. Having a way to talk about it openly, and just knowing what to say about it if anyone was to confront me about it, seemed like it would help. At least now I was prepared and not in some strange middle ground where my official stance was that it just didn’t happen at all. Really thinking about it, that all felt a bit too UFO-classified-files to me, and it was much more natural to be able to tell people without the weirdness.
It was also a relief just to hear him say we weren’t breaking any rules. I’d never worked for a company that didn’t clearly and intensely lay out restrictions for employees dating, especially if it involved people at different levels of the hierarchy. That’s what scared me the most and hearing they didn’t have those regulations put my mind at ease. We didn’t do anything against policy, which meant he didn’t have to choose between firing me or giving me preferential treatment, either of which would be awkward.
After the emotion, tension, and eventual tremendous relief of the talk with Quentin, I didn’t have nearly as much anticipation for the race. Watching dozens of motorcycles fly around the track didn’t have the same excitement and adrenaline as getting things out in the open and finalizing that things were really going to work out. That almost felt like an afterthought. Especially when it got right down to the performance of the team.
The first race of the season was almost overwhelming. I’d never watched anything like that and felt right on the edge from the second the engines roared, and the bikes took off from the starting line. Darren and Greg were almost flawless in their runs and battled to the very end, creating an almost painful amount of anticipation that kept me on my feet.