It was ridiculous, really. The whole damn company had taken her side. These people were practically my family, and I’d known them most of my life. Some of them actually were my family. The point was, as much as I knew why they were doing it, it seriously sucked to have everybody standing up for her almost like they were making some sort of wall around her with their thoughts and pressures.
But then again, it was exactly the way it should be. In all honesty, this was what I’d created for myself. I was the cad who couldn’t keep my hands off my pretty young employee and had let my attraction to her get the best of me. Not once, but twice. But at least everybody only sort of knew about that first time. Even with only that, I deserved the way everyone was reacting to me. At least it wasn’t all negative. Some were giving me the cold shoulder, but others, mostly my family, were giving me looks. They were hard to describe because they changed so much. Sometimes they were sad. Sometimes they were a little angry. Sometimes they were just flat-out judgmental, but they were going to keep it in because I was family and they didn’t want to hurt me. That was a special kind of look. One of those facial expressions only people from the South really understand. It’s part of our culture right up there with the sweet tea and salted watermelon at picnics.
I dragged my hand back through my hair. It was getting long. I hadn’t noticed, but now I realized in the last several weeks I’d been too distracted to bother making an appointment at the barber. That was just another sign of how distracted and disconnected I’d become recently. Usually I looked forward to my haircuts. They were a time to relax a bit and catch up with the same barber who had been cutting my hair for the last twenty years. But I had managed to miss at least two appointments and was definitely seeing the effects. I was going to have to make a point to call James the next day and make an appointment. Maybe I would even have a hot shave. it would probably do me good after all the tension I’d been dealing with.
I tried to focus on the work in front of me again, but that telltale click of shoes started coming down the hallway again. This time I didn’t let myself look up to watch her hurry past. Maybe if she glanced in and saw I was still looking at my desk rather than up at her it would take the edge off a bit. Everybody around the complex was taking their cues from her. As long as Merry was uncomfortable and acting like something was off, everybody else would, too. I looked forward to when this would finally blow over and we could get back to normal.
Only I wasn’t sure when that would ever happen. The feelings definitely weren’t gone, and I didn’t see any difference coming on the horizon. She’d gotten under my skin, and no matter how much I told myself it wasn’t what was good for either one of us, it didn’t matter. This was what I was living with now. But maybe there was a chance I could ignore it or swallow it down. I could force myself to act like everything was normal, and that would put everything right again.
As soon as she passed by, I got up and headed out of the office. There was really no point in me trying to do any office-type work that day. My brain was in a totally different place, and it wasn’t going to do any good. All I could do was go down to the garage and check in with Darren and Greg. We had a race that night, and I wanted to see how the team was doing.
The first race back after his crash and poor showing had been nerve-racking for Darren. He was nervous all the way up to the day of the race, practicing late into the night and taking his poor bike apart at least three times. But a third-place showing got some of his confidence back, and the next race he won first again. Greg came in second both of those times, and it was obvious he was gunning for first. He’d gotten his taste of what it was like to be on top and now wanted more.
But it was good to see both riders were still acting like they were on the same team. Rather than there being fierce, unpleasant competition between the two of them, they played off each other and used one another as motivation. Both wanted to do the best they could, but they genuinely wanted the other to do well, too. It was good to see, and I knew it made for a stronger team and an even more successful company.