It wasn’t just about the sex, though, although that had been mind-blowing. Things were getting even more intolerable with Mark and Carter, and it was getting to the point where I just needed to talk to someone about all of it. Anyone.
Except for Luke. He had always been the one I talked to about things like that, but he had started withdrawing more and more lately, stewing in his frustrations on his own. I knew that we had to come up with some sort of solution soon or else the whole band was going to implode, but I had no idea what to do. I needed someone who could be objective.
For some reason, Leah stood out as the person I would like to talk to about it. Maybe it was just the fact that I could tell she would have a different perspective than anyone else I knew, or maybe it was the fact since we’d slept together, I couldn’t help but feel a certain closeness to her, even though that was a dangerous thought.
Maybe it was the fact that she was so career-driven, herself, and I knew that she would help me see what I wanted more clearly.
In any case, she didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with me, and I wasn’t sure how to push her for something more. I could tell she had felt awkward after we’d slept together. Sure, she’d had something to do that night, but I could tell it had been more than that.
I wished I could talk to her about it. I would have felt awkward about pounding on her door and demanding some sort of explanation, though. Besides, Carter was over at my place more often than not lately, and I would have felt like a heel turning my back on him so I could focus on what was going on with Leah. After all, we had just had a one-night stand. It wasn’t like she and I were in a long-term relationship.
Carter’s drinking was really starting to concern me, but not just because it affected the band. He was my friend, more than just a bandmate. I was worried about him.
At first, I had figured that I would go out with him, keep an eye on him and see if I could get him to stop drinking before he got too wasted. That hadn’t worked, though. Carter had an explosive temper once he started drinking, and he resented me stopping him from either partying or hooking up with girls.
So afterward, it was mostly trying to steer him toward some of our less-wasted groupies and then convince him to head home at a reasonable hour. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. And most times, it ended with him showing up on my doorstep hungover (or still drunk) and passing out on my couch.
There was part of me that wanted to just shake him and tell him to shape up. To remind him that our futures were at stake here. Or maybe to even go so far as to toss him in my trunk and drop his ass off at rehab.
I didn’t know how to have that conversation, though. Carter was spiraling out of control, but he seemed to be refusing all help at the same time.
That night, we were due to go on in about forty-five minutes. I was setting up my kit on the stage while watching Carter out of the corner of my eye. I grimaced as I watched him laugh and sling an arm around a woman, then take a shot of tequila. He had barely set the glass back on the bar before the bartender was pouring him another one.
Just then, Mark rolled up, a girl on his arm. “Hey, Jayson, you going to go do something to handle Carter before he’s too drunk to play?” he asked. I couldn’t tell if he was taunting me or actually asking me to go handle Carter. My hands clenched into fists, and I was just about to retort that maybe Mark should do something himself when he turned his back on me and headed toward the bar with the girl trailing behind.
Probably just as well. All Mark was likely to do would be to exacerbate the situation. Hell, he’d probably start buying Carter more shots. That was the last thing we needed at the moment.
“Need any help with anything? Or anyone?” I looked over, half hoping to see Leah standing there, even though I realized belatedly that it wasn’t her voice who had spoken to me.
Instead, it was Trixie standing there. Because of course it was. She was there at almost all of our shows, and even though she was clearly trying to sleep her way through everyone in the band, she seemed pretty intelligent as well. If anyone was going to realize how things really were going for the band, it was her. She knew us at least as well as anyone did.