Oh God. This was my home, and shit … this was Logan’s too. I was working hard to gain my independence from Matt and Kat, and I was feeling like I was losing it to Logan. He was taking it away by making me need him. God, what was I saying? Logan wasn’t making me do anything. It was me. It was my need to surrender to him. He fulfilled something inside me that I was trying desperately to block out and deny.
I felt a hand on my back. “Emily, it’s cool. He’s in a band, they’re unreliable. Shit happens.”
I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t care whether he called or texted. I thought I could get past the intensity between us. I failed. And it had only strengthened with his calls. We talked about everything except Raul and what happened. Mostly the band, his love of motorcycles and my love of horses. It was like we used to talk. We skirted around his mother, but he did tell me her name, Isabella, and that she had long, dark-brown hair with a slight wave to it. Logan also said she had a smile that lit up her whole face like a child opening presents at Christmas. Then he ruined that image with the fact that he rarely saw her smile.
I had to stop thinking about him. “Let’s go to Avalanche,” I suggested.
“What? Now?”
“I’m declaring it a girls’ night.” I needed to go out and forget. Drink. Have fun. “No guy talk. Just the girls.” I stroked Stanley’s muzzle and he nudged my shoulder.
Kat was already on her phone. “Texting Georgie.”
We were showered and dressed within the hour. I wore tight jeans with my red strappy heels and a white blouse that fit snug at the waist.
“Kat. Emily. Looking good,” the bouncer Dan said as he held the door open for us. “You girls hear? Real good band playing tonight. Matt hired them a few weeks ago. Have that Hinder feel.”
“Oh raspy voice. Like it. Wicked. Thanks, Dan.” Kat kissed him on the cheek, and we strolled in, quickly finding Georgie at a table near the stage. She had Raven with her who looked completely out of her element, all curled into herself. Her shoulders were slouched, hands clasped together in her lap; her head was down and her face hidden by her long, stringy hair. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and just cry for her, but I suspected that would be the last thing she’d want.
We drank, talked, laughed … well, all except Raven. Although, at the beginning of the evening I did chat with her a few minutes. I was surprised when she initiated the chat, leaning forward in her chair and looking up at me. She had dark circles under her eyes as if her mascara, that she wasn’t wearing, had smudged. She asked where I was living now. I smiled and went to put my hand over top of hers, but stopped mid-approach when she flinched back in her chair.
I told her about the farm and the horses then suggested she come by and I’d take her riding. I thought her eyes would light up at that—they didn’t. Dead. Dull. It was really eerie how she had no emotion except fear. Every movement made her jump, and she looked nervous and uncomfortable. I understood why. I mean I didn’t, but I probably did better than anyone here. It would take a long time before she trusted again. If ever.
Kat and I danced a few times while Georgie stayed with Raven. I was on my fifth cosmopolitan by the time the band came on, and I was feeling it. I mean really feeling it as I danced to the music, letting myself get lost in the beat.
The band rocked. The lead singer was a thirty something blond with piercing blue eyes and a deep voice that gripped the music like he was part of it. We danced, drank, and laughed until my sides were hurting.
The band finished, and we were on our last drink as Matt had cut us off—to which we all laughed hysterically. He rolled his eyes and walked off giving Brett the cut sign over the throat. Brett and I met eyes then we both laughed. I nearly toppled off my chair and suspected I would’ve if it hadn’t been for the hand grabbing my arm and holding me upright.
I glanced up. “Hey, thanks.” Then I smiled when I recognized him. “Oh, you’re the singer.” Shit, I was slurring, and he had two noses.
He chuckled. “Yeah, Princess.” He nodded to Kat, Georgie, and Raven. I noticed the other three band members had already sat at the table. Raven was looking uneasy as one of the guys, I think the lead guitarist, started quietly talking to her.
Lead singer guy pulled up a chair beside me and sat on it backward, leaning his crossed arms on the back of it. “That last song was for you …”
I held out my hand. “Emily.”
He took my hand and kissed the back of it then smiled. My blurred vision took in the dimples on his cheeks. “Ethan.”
“Yep, I know you.” I found myself leaning too far forward in my seat. I remembered his face; Kat showed me his picture in the Toronto Now magazine a few months ago.
“Not yet, but you will.” He took my hands, and his thumb stroked back and forth across the backs of them. “No boyfriend tonight?”
Nope. No Logan. He was extinguished from my mind. Numerous cosmos could do that to a girl. “Nope.”
“Good to hear, Emily. You want to give me your number?”
Number? That was fast. “Um, well …”
“It’s just a number, Princess. Been watching you all night and know I’d like to talk to you some more, but looks like Matt is shutting down soon, so your number would be nice.”
“What the hell … Why not?” After all, I’d given it to Logan. Who cares if this guy had it too? I was on a roll. Didn’t seem to matter much tonight. Actually nothing mattered except finishing off my drink. I gulped back more of it before reaching into my purse and pulling out my phone. I typed in the password, well it took me three tries, then passed it to Ethan. “Might as well give me yours so I know who’s calling when you call.”