My Best Friend's Boyfriend

“Wow. That burned. Anyway, yeah, two weeks ago. It’s been two weeks since I got laid.”

“Then she must have sucked. I remember you went almost a month before you lost your nozzle after that one woman. What was her name?”

“Miss Community College?” he asked.

“That’s the one. Yep.”

“Oh, man. I’ll never find another lay like her. She was so sweet on the outside, but when she got me in bed, she didn’t want me doing a damn thing. On top the entire time. Sucked my cock with her juices all over it. Fucking hell, I would’ve let that chick stick a finger up my butt if she wanted. I was putty in that woman’s mouth, and she fucking knew how to use it.”

“Yeah, never had sex good enough to consider taking it up the butt. Sorry.”

“Not even with Camilla? Come on now, stop lying.”

“Nope, not even with her. She’s sexy as hell and likes some weird shit, but that doesn’t mean the sex is always good.”

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?”

“Hardly. She’s a great woman. She has a carefree attitude that contrasts with mine and helps level me out.”

“Oh, shit. Is the great Logan Foster thinking about settling down?” he asked.

“I’m closer to thinking about it than you are. When are you going to get yourself a steady girlfriend and stop risking all these STDs with all these women you sleep with?”

“First of all, protection. Second of all, never. Being single is way too much fun. There are too many women falling asleep alone at night. And if I can remedy that situation for just one night for any woman who cries because I’m not with her, then I owe it to them. I owe it to their happiness.”

“Oh really. So that’s how you paint all this? Charity work?” I asked, chuckling.

“Sounds a hell of a lot better than man-whoring, don’t ya think?” he said, laughing.

“Hey, your words, not mine.”

“But seriously, you thinking you might settle down with Camilla? Because honestly, she doesn’t seem like the settling down type. In some ways it seems like you’re kinda dating me.”

“Don’t even say shit like that. I’ll slap you if you say shit like that.”

“I just don’t want to see my best friend getting hurt. If you’re getting serious, make sure she’s serious, too.”

“I’m not getting serious. I’m just saying that when I turned thirty a few months ago, I started thinking about things.”

“I take it they weren’t sexy things,” he said.

“No, they weren’t.”

“What were they then?”

“You know, just wondering where my life is going to go. I do know that I want to settle down eventually, maybe have a family.”

“Yikes. So you really don’t want to get laid ever again,” he said.

“Believe it or not, Hunter, having a family doesn’t mean no sex for the rest of someone’s life.”

“It might as well. A loose vagina, saggy tits, quickies that have to stay quiet because a baby’s sleeping? No thanks.”

“Really? A woman grows a child for you and all you’re going to think about is how bad she looks?”

“Hey, I never said I was father material. I’m never having kids, all right? Not my thing.”

“Then who are you going to pass off your father’s hedge fund company to? Are you going to run it until you die before willing it off to some cousin for them to sell off piece by piece?”

Hunter’s face fell, and I laughed.

“That’s fucked up,” he said.

“It’s the truth. If you don’t have a kid, you’ll work that business until you’re dead before someone sells off your hard work for a quick buck.”

“That’s really fucked up, Logan.”

I tossed my head back and laughed until tears came to my eyes.

“Anyway,” I said, “it doesn’t matter. What does matter is my stomach. I haven’t eaten dinner yet.”

“Long day at the office?”

“Hell yeah, it was.”

“You should’ve called Camilla to come suck your cock under your desk.”

I glared at Hunter, and he held up his hand.

“Bartender! We’d like a couple food menus, please,” he said.

“Saved by the plate,” I said.

“Let’s get you some food before you go rogue on us and beat someone up.”

“And by someone you mean you, right?”

“Of course I mean me. I love pissing you off, but sometimes it comes with consequences,” he said.

“Then stop toeing the line.”

“But that line is so fun.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, Logan.”

We put in our food orders before asking for more beers.

Ava

I was sitting at dinner with Camilla, her boyfriend, Logan, and some guy Logan had brought with him. It was a blind date for me. It was also all Camilla’s idea. It was a blind date to try to find me a guy to lose my virginity to. I didn’t even know why the hell I had agreed to the damn thing. Camilla had just kept bugging me about it for the past week, and the only way to get her off my back was to appease her.