Darkness, Kindled (Fire Spirits 4)

She stared at the ceiling, wondering what everyone else really thought of her. Red and Glass seemed concerned about her safety before they fled to escape Lilif’s wrath, but that didn’t mean they weren’t disappointed in her for using Azazil’s power for her own selfish means.

What she had done … didn’t that make her as bad as Lilif?

Discussing her guilt was difficult.

She couldn’t with the Roes because they clearly were happy with her decision to manipulate Azazil’s power. She couldn’t discuss it with Fallon because she was working through her moroseness over Charlie, pummeling holes into training center punching bags. And Trey too was quiet these days, spending hours locked in his room painting and worrying about Glass.

There was only Jai, and he was convinced that she’d acted with a pure heart. How could she possibly feel guilty for saving four lives?

“You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” His sleep-roughened voice found her in the dark.

Ari turned her head on the pillow, her eyes so well adjusted to the shadows, she could see he’d turned on his side to watch her. “I can’t help it.”

“And nothing I say will convince you that this isn’t your fault?”

She shook her head.

“Ari,” he whispered sadly, his fingers trailing a shivery path across her bare shoulder and down her arm. “Baby, you made a decision to save lives. Azazil agreed. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s his.

And it’s the White King’s. And if you really want to get into it, it’s Azazil’s and Asmodeus’s fault for not destroying Lilif centuries ago when they had the chance.”

“They couldn’t. At the time … she was too connected to the world.”

“Not anymore.”

Ari nodded. “She can be destroyed now. If Azazil and Asmodeus allow it, that is.”

“I think they’ll have to. For now, I want you to stop worrying and stop feeling guilty. She may be powerful but she’s up against seven Jinn kings and Azazil and Asmodeus. Azazil will have regained his strength by now. I’m sure they’re dealing with it as we speak.”

“You can’t just say the words and expect me to stop feeling guilty. To stop worrying,” Ari insisted. “Azazil told me there might be consequences. I did it, anyway. I acted like Charlie, except I don’t have the excuse of being twisted by a piece of Mount Qaf emerald.”

Jai heaved an irritated sigh. “Now I’m getting pissed.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He sat up on his elbow. “Okay, your actions led to Lilif’s reawakening. Did you intend that? No.

You did what you did to save lives. Charlie’s actions lost lives and all to wreak revenge. How is what you did the same thing?”

Jai Bitar, you are a pain in my ass. Ari made a grumbling noise. “It’s not.”

“Are you going to stop feeling guilty?”

“Can we not talk about this anymore?”

“Ari—”

She reached up swiftly, pulling his head down to hers. The annoyed, hard kiss she pressed against his mouth to shut him up quickly grew soft and heated as he groaned and wrapped his arms around her.

“You don’t play fair,” he growled, trailing soft kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

Needing to escape for a while, Ari was overcome with an urgency to disappear inside him. She gripped his hips with her thighs and flipped him so his back was on the mattress and she was straddling him.

Jai smoothed his hands down her back and around her hips, a fire stirring in his gaze. Her lips hovered above his as she whispered desperately, “I’m going to make it so I don’t know where you start and where I end.”

Abruptly, Jai sat up, rearranging her on his lap as he held her tight against him. “We’re already there.” He kissed her softly. “We’re deep inside each other. That’s why I can’t bear to see you blame yourself. I feel it. I feel it when you hurt.”

Her eyes shimmered as she tenderly cupped his face in her hands, her thumbs stroking his bristly jawline. “Then I’ll stop blaming myself.”

“As easy as that?”

She brushed her nose along his, her bottom lip catching his top lip. “You’re the last person in the world I’d ever hurt. If hurting me hurts you … then, yeah. Easy as that.”

Jai’s eyes sparked in the dark and he hugged her tighter. “I love you. I need you,” he whispered frantically, his hands coasting around her hips to draw her nightgown up. “Now.”

Ari nodded, her cheek rubbing against his as she whispered in his ear. “I love you too.”

Leaning back a little, she raised her arms so he could draw her nightie off, and as soon as it was gone and there was nothing between them but air, Jai crushed her against him, kissing her breathless.

***

The sound of Jai’s cell ringing woke them. Ari sleepily lifted her head off his chest so he could reach for it on his bedside table.

“Bitar,” he mumbled into the cell.

Whatever the caller said bolted Jai upright. Ari instantly tensed, watching him.

“Okay. We’ll be right there.” He hung up and looked down at her, his expression unreadable. “Michael wants to see us. He has an assignment for us.”

Ari struggled into a sitting position, pushing her long hair out of her face. “Well, that’s good, right?

Gives us something to focus on.”

“Yeah. Let’s get ready and go see what it’s about.”

“This is not good,” Jai grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest, his glower darkening Michael’s study.

“Look,” Michael sighed. “You know I prefer having the two of you on assignment together, but I have an Edimmu Utukku haunting a graveyard only fifteen miles from here and a Labartu another Guild has tracked into northern Philadelphia. These two have been causing serious havoc and I have two assassins who can take the bastards out. I already sent Trey on assignment last night with Fallon. She was begging to get out of the house and I wanted someone I could trust with her, so they’re in Maryland taking care of a newbie sorcerer. That leaves me with only two legal assassins.

You two. The Labartu is moving fast, so we need to deal with her while she’s under our jurisdiction. The Utukku killed someone last night, so I want him dealt with too. Jai, I need you on board with this.”

Ari made a huffing sound. “As much as I love him, Jai is not the boss of me.” She ignored his glare. “He’s no longer my guardian and he no longer calls the shots. Just tell me what I need to do and this Jinn is mine.”

“Ari—”

“Jai.” She shook her head at him, her eyes narrowed stubbornly. “You don’t want me to feel gui

lty. Fine. I’m not.

But don’t make me feel helpless, either.”

“Red asked me to protect you.”

“Yes. From Lilif, if she ever decides to come calling. She hasn’t. I’m pretty sure she’s being given the runaround by her sons and ex-hubby right about now and could give a crap about her long-lost granddaughter.” When his annoyed expression didn’t change, she sent him an appeasing look. “I know there’s danger. I’m not an idiot. But I’ll get in and out of there as quickly as possible. You do realize I need to be able to fight without you by my side?”

After a moment of contemplation, Jai finally gave in, “Fine. But you go in there all guns blazing, no messing around. Just kill it and get out.”

Ari smiled sweetly at him.

“Whatever you say, baby.”

***

“Perhaps we should rest, Your Highness,” a Marid from what was left of White’s army suggested. “Conserve our energy.”

Lilif gazed at her husband’s palace towering upon the mountains and sneered. White’s army, now her army, was growing as she commanded more Jinn to her side. However, with her other sons, her husband, and her brother locked within the palace walls combining their power to keep them out, there was little she could do until she got inside.

She narrowed her eyes on White.

“Are you sure you are channeling your power at full strength?” It had not escaped her that White was more than a little disappointed to discover she’d twisted the truth and manipulated him centuries ago. However, Lilif was relying on his obsessive love to win him over. She thought that it had, but she was certain she wasn’t feeling the full extent of his energy battering into the protection shield around Azazil’s home. Still, she’d give him time. She was not yet ready to use the Seal against him. White was the son who’d always been loyal, and Lilif appreciated that loyalty. She needed it. It would hurt to lose it and then have to forcefully take it from him.

“I am, Mother,” he assured her, his jaw tight with tension and anger. “But I fear we are just sitting ducks. Even with this army,” he sneered as he waved his hand over the masses behind them.