Through the hiccupping mess that no longer resembled her, the hiccupping mess she was sure to be mortified about as soon as she calmed down, Eden told Jack everything. About whom Romany was, about Noah, about how much she wanted to kill Romany, about Darius testing her.
Finally, with Jack’s warm hand rubbing soothing circles on her back, Eden quieted. She was exhausted.
“I know the guy doesn’t like me very much but I have to stick up for Noah here,” Jack told her softly when she’d finished.
Eden blinked, thinking she’d heard wrong. The last thing she would have expected was that. If there was one person who understood her old life it was Jack. “Why?”
His grin was wry. “Because anyone can see the guy is head over heels for you. He and Cyrus really are trying to protect you. I believe that.”
“I don’t need protecting, Jack. You get it right?” she pleaded. “You killed your father for what he did to those people. You got revenge.”
Jack’s eyes grew sad as he understood why she’d come to him and Eden felt despairing. No! She needed him to understand. “Eden, it wasn’t revenge. It was justice. There is a huge difference and if you cross the line, if you… kill Romany for what she did… you won’t come back from that. That’s what Noah is trying to protect you from. He’s not protecting Romany, or Cyrus, or trying to keep Darius off your back… he’s trying to make sure that you don’t do irreparable damage to your soul.”
It hadn’t been what Eden wanted to hear. A traitorous part of her heart asked if it was perhaps what she needed to hear… but she pushed it down and felt another tear spill down her cheek. Jack sighed heavily and pulled her to him, tucking her head into his chest, his strong arms holding her close.
“Well this is cozy.”
The voice was so cold Eden barely recognized it. She snapped back from Jack’s embrace and jerked her head around. Noah stood in the doorway, his furious eyes blasting her into hell.
“Noah.” Eden felt a surprising amount of panic as she realized what he thought he was seeing. No. No!
“What was it you said to me?” he cocked his head, the bitterness in his voice killing her. “Oh right, yeah. Screw you. The both of you.”
His words sliced through her, ripping her open, momentarily dazing her. When she was able to catch her breath again he was gone. “Noah.” She scrambled to her feet, jamming them into her Converse before she hurried after him.
She caught up with him in the grand foyer and grabbed his arm, utilizing all her strength to drag the obstinate ass into the smaller of the sitting rooms. She slammed the door shut behind her, her chest heaving with the exertion of forcing him into the room.
“That’s not what you think.”
Noah’s face was stone cold and Eden’s chest ached. Even worse she could see the ripple of hurt underneath his stoic façade. “Oh really?” he asked in a determinedly bored voice. “What was it then?”
She shrugged. “We were training and I just broke down, OK.”
“To him,” he spat, the pretense of indifference fading pretty fast. “With him you break down?! You let him in?!”
Feeling the situation slip through her fingers, Eden hurried to reassure him. Whatever their difference of opinion, however much pain she was in over the Romany situation, however much she was still conflicted over the two paths in front of her, Jack was right. Noah cared about her. This couldn’t tear them apart. He was… everything. “I thought he’d understand.”
Wrong words.
Shit.
Noah jerked back as if she’d slapped him. “Oh, I see. So you and I are pretty much over because I don’t get you but the Neith does. He gets you. I don’t. Is that it?”
“Noah, no!” Eden hurried towards him but he slid past her towards to door. “He’s my friend. And you and I are not over!”
“You promised,” he said quietly over his shoulder as he opened the door to escape. “You promised you’d remember and you just…” he looked at her now. “You won’t let me care. You can’t see past your own pain. You can’t see that all we care about is you. It makes me wonder if you care enough about us back. When you’re like this… I don’t even know why I try...”
The shocking pain of those words momentarily froze her and when she finally came to, Noah was gone.
“Noah!” she called, rushing out of the room. There was no sight of him. A door clanged shut. The door to the garage. He was taking a car. “Jack!” she spun around and nearly collided with him.
“I just wanted to see if you were OK.”
She shook her head, feeling disorientated. “Let me take a car.”
Jack’s eyes widened. “What? No way. Cyrus would kill me.”
“Jack!” Eden grabbed a hold of his shirt, forcing him forward. Her eyes bore into his with desperation. “I can’t let him go like this. If I don’t go after him, he’ll think I don’t care. And I do care. OK. I don’t know what I’m doing about Romany, I don’t know what I’ll do in the future, I don’t know. But I do know that the only person that means anything to me might never want me again unless I prove to him that right now nothing else matters but him.”
Her passionate outburst, so unlike her, seemed to shock Jack to the core. Eventually he pulled out of her grip, eyeing her carefully. Then he shook his head, muttering, “I’m so going to lose my job.”
Relief rushed through her as Jack led her down to the garage and keyed in a code to the key box. He pulled out the keys to Cyrus’ Ford SUV and handed them to her. “You better be so careful,” he warned. “You don’t get out of the car unless you find Noah. You hear me.”
“I hear you.” She nodded.
With another uncertain look, Jack sighed and turned to a phone attached to the wall by the key box. “Hey, Reeves,” Jack said to whoever picked up. “Eden has permission to leave the grounds. She’s coming out in the SUV. Call down to checkpoint one and two to inform them.”
Eden exhaled shakily. “Thank you, Jack.”
“Just go.”
Chapter Fifteen
Through the Half-Light
Eden was barely cognizant of the freedom she’d obtained, driving the SUV past Cyrus’ security checkpoints and out onto the I-90, her only plan to guess where Noah had taken off to. Right now he was upset. As upset as she was. He’d want somewhere familiar, somewhere quiet. A favorite place. The only place in Boston Eden remembered him speaking of was a quiet coffee house situated in a bookstore on Mount Auburn Street in Cambridge, near the Rosovsky Hall end.
So Cambridge it was.
Fingers clenching around the wheel, Eden shook her head, ignoring the flip flop thump of her heart against her ribcage. It was strange, how through all the crap, when she thought she was going to lose him she wasn’t nearly so angry at him. Being in love sucked.
But it didn’t, she sighed. Not really.
In fact, most of the time it was pretty frickin’ awesome.
Not now. When her stomach roiled and adrenaline spiked her blood in the worst way possible. She was a jittery, terrified mess.
Did it mean she would let Romany off the hook? Had Jack’s words worked magic on her?
Eden cursed and hit the wheel. No! It did not mean that! It just meant… it meant… that she at least understood the part where Jack said Noah and Cyrus were trying to protect her from herself. OK. It wasn’t easy being alone in this. In fact it hurt like hell that everyone she cared about said if in her shoes they would let Romany go. It made her feel twisted and dark and very much old school Eden. But it was something a grown up would accept. Everyone saw the world differently.
Noah got that.
And if he… was somehow willing to love her when her perspective on life drove him crazy then the least she could do was return the favor.
And that’s exactly what she’d tell him.
If she ever found the pain in the ass.