My phone buzzed, and I answered it without missing a beat. Sure enough, it was her, and the sound of her voice made tears prick at the corner of my eyes.
“Hey, I think I’m upfront. Is there a place to park?”
God, I was crying way too much lately. I really hoped it was my pregnancy hormones because I didn’t think I could live with being so emotional for the rest of my life. The world was hard enough to survive already.
“Yeah, around the side of the building. I’ll meet you at the front door.”
“Alright dear, I’ll be there in just a minute.”
“Great.”
I hung up and I was suddenly just about as nervous as I had been when I had first moved to Vegas. I was opening a door that I thought I had long since closed, but it was what I needed to do. Anything for my little bean.
I grabbed my keys and headed out. I chose to walk down the stairs, figuring that I would ride the elevator up. After all, exercise was an important part of pregnancy, and I wanted to get it in before I was the size of a beach ball.
Sure enough, I reached the bottom just as my mother was calling me. I walked up to the glass door, pressing the button to let her in. I knew that the apartment’s logo on the door was enough to block my lower body, but she was going to see as soon as she stepped in over the threshold.
It was quite a surprise, but I didn’t know how to tell her. It seemed far too important to tell over the phone yet blindsiding her seemed rude too. Where was some TV psychologist to tell me what the appropriate move was?
I didn’t know, and it was too late, because she was stepping in, her arms open for a hug.
“There’s my baby!”
She walked towards me, intent on a hug, and I stood there for an idiot. She almost made it to me before her eyes flicked from my face down to my growing stomach, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
“Oh Nikki… are you…?”
I nodded slowly, and those stupid tears were trickling out again. “…you’re gonna be a grandma… if you want to that is.”
I had nightmares about this moment ever since she had said she’d come. Hundreds of variations ranging from her calling me a whore to turning on her heel and leaving right there.
Funny, I spent so much time telling myself that I didn’t need her approval, that she had never been very supportive for most of my life so why should I expect her to be now.
But the truth was, in this moment, I needed her to be. I needed her to smile and hold my hand and be a lifeline. I was strong, but there was only so much strength you could expect me to have when I was responsible for another life inside of me.
“A grandmother?” Mom repeated. I finally had the balls to look at her face and I saw that her eyes were misty too. “I’m gonna be a grandmother?”
I nodded and suddenly I was being enveloped in one of the tightest hugs I had ever been caught in. My mom, several inches shorter than me, was wetting my shirt with her tears, making me feel a lot less embarrassed about mine.
“Oh, my goodness, oh my dear lord,” she was sobbing. “My baby is having a baby!” She let me go but held onto my hands, stepping back to look me over. “Darling, you’re glowing. You’re absolutely glowing.”
We stood there for several moments, just crying and laughing and laughing and crying, until we were both sloppy messes. I didn’t know how much of it was because of the baby and how much of it was from just seeing each other again, but it was nice. I appreciated it.
“We should get upstairs,” I said finally, also not letting go of my mother’s hand. “I just got here so we don’t want the neighbors to get the wrong impression of me.”
“Yes, yes of course. I can’t wait to see it.”
I gave her hand a grateful squeeze and lead her back to the elevators, stopping only to ask her if she wanted a snack. But she seemed far too excited to eat and honestly so was I. If her reaction to my place was half as excited as mine, it would certainly be fun to watch.
“Wow, an elevator,” she remarked. “This is much nicer than your tenth-floor dorm with stairs only.”
“Yeah, but I had great quads that year,” I said with a laugh. Now that I was in a place of stability, it was easy to laugh.
“That’s my girl. Always looking on the bright side of everything. For being so practical, you were always so good at that.” She sighed and her eyes when to my stomach again. “I always wished that I had half of your confidence.”