Vegas Baby

I mean sure, I was depending on him for a whole lot of financial support right now, but even a month had already put me into much better standings. Even half a year would set me up for a much better life and give me some wiggle room for emergencies. Would it be ideal? No. But would it be life ruining either? No, not really.

“I suppose I should apologize,” James said, shifting somewhat uncomfortably.

“Why do you think that?” I asked, tilting my head to the side.

He looked surprised at my reaction, like I should be shocked and appalled at the revelation. “Because I’m supposed to be supporting you and the child. If you’re depending on me, I suppose you deserve the full truth of the person you’re relying on.”

“While I do agree that would be nice, I don’t think you owe me a long history of your past -except medically, of course.” I tried to order my thoughts so I wouldn’t say something stupid. “Look, while I vastly appreciate everything you’ve done and have agreed to do for me and the little bean, it’s not necessary for my survival.

“While it would be inconvenient if all of this vanished tomorrow, I would live to see another day. And the fact of the matter is, the longer this situation last, the better off I’ll be even if it suddenly disappears. I’ve already managed to save three hundred dollars in this first month, and that’s with all the other things I’ve bought to settle in here, like towels and some pots, hygiene supplies and the like. A year from now, I’ll have a tidy little nest egg.”

“I…I see. Do you don’t feel…lied to?”

“No, not really,” I answered with a shrug. “I’m glad I found out now, but it really doesn’t matter much. Maybe I’ll save a little more, but is your current business in danger of bankruptcy?”

“No, not at all,” he laughed. “We’re doing better than I could ever dream, and even if everything absolutely tanked tomorrow and we lost all of our clients, we would be in business for another two years minimum.”

Wow. Two years, huh? Even if the absolute worst happened, it seemed like I would have plenty of time to make sure I was set. And that was even if the worst happened. “See? Then the two of us have nothing to worry about.”

“I’m glad you feel that way.” He deflated slightly, as if he was relieved. We were quiet for several minutes before he shifted a bit uncomfortably again. “So…who exactly was that man and why is he intent on bothering you?”

I sighed. I probably should have known that was coming. And it wasn’t that I wanted to keep secrets from James either, but I was so sick of being emotional in front of him and I knew that telling him exactly who that man was guaranteed to put me back into a place I didn’t want to be.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable.”

“No, it’s not that, I… just…” Why the hell was I still letting Jason affect me so much? I had just stood up to him and read him to absolute filth. If I wanted to keep the peace, I had long since ruined that possibility. “It’s just a lot.”

“I understand. But I’ve got the whole day.”

Right. I took a deep breath and tried to figure out where to start.

“Okay. So, when I got out of college, I got a job in that same city at a call center. It wasn’t my dream job, obviously, or what I had gone to school for, but it paid the bills.

“Or, it did until they eliminated their bonus structure and commission set up and switched to minimum wage plus cents on the dollar for every sale. Suddenly my checks were going from five hundred dollars a week at thirty-five hours, to less than three hundred.

“I tried looking for another job, I really did. But all I had on my resume was fast food work and the one call center, so places that paid better wouldn’t hire me, and the places I used to work at weren’t enough to live off of.

“So, after four months of trying to make it work, I had to move back home. Back to Podunk town where people still call me oriental and marry their cousins. It wasn’t awful at first, mostly because I stuck to myself, but being unemployed left me feeling so empty. So useless.”

I could feel everything coming back to me. The anxiety, wondering if my degree was useless, thinking that I was a failure. What kind of twenty-two-year-old couldn’t get even the simplest of jobs?

“Day in and day out, I would fill out all these job applications online. I got a couple of interviews, but never managed to land the job. One person said that I was overqualified. Another wanted me to work overnights and my mom didn’t want me coming into her house at random times of the night or early morning. Two turned out to be scams. It just seemed impossible.