My day is nonstop, and if I’m not on the phone, I’m at the computer or going over invoices with customers. I’m able to take a thirty-minute break for lunch, and that’s when I walk to the cafe on the corner and check my phone.
Katie: Tyler’s back in town. Have you seen him yet?
I inhale a sharp breath at seeing his name on the screen. Everleigh told me he planned to return, and while it’s been on my mind, it didn’t really hit me until now. However, my anxiety spikes at the thought of running into him and how awkward things will be between us.
Gemma: No. You?
Katie: Nope.
The last time I saw Tyler Blackwood was twelve years ago. I was crushed when he left town after we spent three months together. It was the most amazing summer of my life, and then he broke my heart. I was in love with him, had given him my virginity, and was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
But I wasn’t enough to make him stay.
I knew he was only staying temporarily and had planned to move, but I had hoped he would stay for me. The day he left was the last time I heard from him.
Brokenhearted doesn’t even brush the surface of how I felt for months after. Katie and Everleigh picked me up off the floor and forced me to move on. Being his sister, Everleigh was just as sad to see him go. The letters he sent me while he was in the Army were all I had left of him.
When he kissed me for the first time, I swear my heart stopped. As corny as it sounds, I’d fallen in love with him long before that kiss. After years of getting to know him, spilling my deepest and darkest secrets, and complaining about boys and school, he went from being a brotherly figure to someone I connected with on a level I never knew existed.
We hadn’t seen each other in years or even talked on the phone, but those letters changed me.
I still have them stuffed in a shoebox in the back of my closet. Though I should just throw them away because I’m engaged, but I can’t. Those letters are a part of my past, and at times, when I’m down and get drunk on wine, I pull them out and re-read my favorites.
It’s self-sabotage, but I’ve only done it a few times. When I’m feeling uncertain about my future or want to reminisce about the past, I’ll dig them out. The tears usually come so fast I can’t even read the words on the paper.
My moments of weakness would happen when Tyler was on my mind and heart. I really believed he’d never return. The night I learned he’d been sentenced to five years in prison, I knew the prospect of seeing him again was slim to none. I’d always held a sliver of hope, but by then, I realized I needed to move on, so I did. I honestly figured after serving his time, he’d go back to Vegas and continue living his life in Nevada. But Everleigh mentioned a month ago he was moving home, and my stupid girl brain got anxious all over again about seeing him. I felt like a teenager again.
Katie: Think it’ll be weird when you do?
Gemma: Probably a little, but hopefully I won’t run into him that much anyway.
Katie: Well, if he’s going to live at Everleigh’s for a while, you might. Plus, he’ll be around town. It’s not like we live in NYC.
Gemma: It’ll be fine. It’s been years, and I’m engaged now. No reason it has to be awkward.
My words are more for me than her, but they’re true. They both remember how stupid in love with him I was and how broken I was after he left.
Walking inside the café, I smile at Angela who’s behind the counter. Since I’m a regular, she asks me if I want my usual, and I give her a nod. A few minutes later, she hands me my vanilla chai latte and cinnamon loaf.
“See you tomorrow.” I wave as I head toward the door. Angela smiles and tells me goodbye.
A gentleman opens it before I can, and my heart stops. At first glance, I thought it could’ve been Tyler, but it wasn’t. He keeps it open for me, and I thank him as I exit.
Great. Now every time I see a tall, good-looking man, I’m going to think it’s him.
I’m fucking doomed.
Dear Gemma,
I hate that I can hear you crying in my head even though I’m thousands of miles away. A boy should never make you cry, and one who does isn’t worth your time. Derrick is an idiot for breaking up with you. You know that, right? He’s not worthy of you.