“You’re here.” I whispered the words into his neck as I felt the floodgates about to open up and suck me under. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t do this. Each time I thought of seeing him again I had sworn to myself that I wouldn’t break down like this.
I’d told myself that the next time I saw him I would be all grown up. But just the sight of him had everything flooding my mind at once and I couldn’t hold back. He held me closer, tighter, his arms offering comfort as I struggled with my emotions.
Just as his arms closed around me I heard movement behind me, and not long after her voice and I stiffened. Why must she spoil it? I felt the loss I knew was about to come and he hadn’t even put me down yet. I got in one last squeeze and inhaled his scent before the inevitable could happen.
“Stop that Jessie, you’re too grown to be acting like that.” I started to pull away at the censor and disapproval in that tone, but the arms around me tightened. “Stay where you are.” I looked up at his face and my heart hurt. He’s so beautiful that it was torture just to look at him.
I wanted so badly to run my fingers over the ink that covered his arms and part of his neck. Not to mention the markings on his chest that I’d gotten a glimpse of just once, so long ago.
It hurt because he could never be mine, not in the way my poor stupid girl heart had wanted for so long. And because I knew he’d never take me in his arms and love me the way I’ve always dreamed. Dreams that had become harder and harder to avoid here lately…
I felt the old familiar bitterness in my gut start climbing up my throat to strangle me. It wasn’t right to feel this way I knew, but why was my life always so unfair? I’ve never caught a break as far as I can remember; except for that fateful night he came into my life and saved me. That, I must admit, was the best day of my entire existence and probably always will be. Only he could top it, and…
I did my little internal monologue thing, where I told myself to be grateful. Things could’ve turned out so differently back then. There could’ve been someone else in that parking lot that night, someone less honorable. He’d done so much already, I shouldn’t want more, but I did.
I tuned out of the past and back into the here and now when I realized that no one was saying or doing anything. Not since he’d told me to stay put, which was a first, but one that gave me pure joy. He held my head against his chest with one hand at my nape, while the other covered the back of my head protectively.
“Screw you, she stays right where she is.” There was such venom in his voice.
“Creed?” I tried to pull my head back to look into his face. There was so much anger, I could feel it radiating in his body now. “Shh, you’re fine.”
He was staring back at her but not in the way he once did, like everything she said was truth. I felt the first stirring of hope in a long time when he kissed my forehead, gave me a tight squeeze, and pushed me behind him protectively.
“Where is he?” I wasn’t sure what to think about his question but I started to get nervous. She didn’t answer him right away but instead glared at me, which is her usual. I fought back the fear as I clung onto the back of his shirt. He seemed to sense my discomfort because his hand reached back and covered mine before he turned back to her.
“What’s going on? Why are you here without letting us know you were coming?” She started doing that nervous cleaning thing she always does, as I watched him watch her. One part of me was hoping that he knew the truth finally, and another was too embarrassed to even contemplate it.
“I said where is he?”
“If you’re talking about Sal he’s not here.” She made herself busy as my pulse raced in fear and hope. I was beginning to think that someone somewhere had told him, because I sure hadn’t; but who, how?
“Baby I want you to go upstairs and get your stuff together. Just what you need for now, like your important papers and stuff like that.” His words were whisper soft in my ear as he turned just his head to me.
That second kiss, this time closer to the corner of my mouth made my heart do cartwheels in my chest, and my body tingled in that old familiar way I was getting used to whenever I thought of him.